Parenting

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Crabmommy: Funny (and annoying) threats our kids make

It's all very well telling kids "use your words," but as we all know words can be just as dreadful as deeds.

Today, for example: I'm driving and attempting to tune out a scream of angry talk flying from the wee one's lips. Crabkid was ticked at me for leaving the library earlier than she wanted, and after a long, loud library tantrum (don't they have a special knack for tantrum venues?), she spent the car ride expressing herself in full.

Crabkid's at the stage where creative taunts of physical cruelty are threatened whenever things don't go well, ranging from the kicking of the mommy to the breaking of the mommy's head, and so forth. In the past I might have tried a spot of washing-the-mouth-out-with-soap, Victorian-mommy that I am, but now I am just too dang lazy and much more evolved. Of course, I tell Crabkid that threats of bodily harm aren't good or nice or kind, but no matter the punishments or non-punishments, the toughie talk remains.

How to Temper the Tantrum:  A pediatrician and a licensed clinical social worker offer their wisdom on contending with these formidable flare-ups.

Back to the car today and the tirade of threats directed Mommyward: I worked hard to tune out the Medieval corrections my almost-four year old dreamed up for me, but I did catch the following, a kicker she evidently thought so brutal she saved it for last: "I'm going to mail you!" And then, in a shocked, venomous whisper--as though stunned by her own powers of cruelty--"In the mailbox, Mommy!"

Lines like that and I'm glad the kid can talk. But the rest of today's speech? It left me speechless and with only one thought in my head by the time we got home: I want wine.

What zingers have your kids let fly at you?

Kids say the darndest things when they first learn how to talk. Read more about Crabtot's first words.


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Comments 51-54 of 54
  • Andi's Avatar
    Posted by Andi Fri Oct 3, 2008 8:19pm PDT

    When my daughter was two she was rough housing with her 7-year-old uncle. Before on rather pathetic attempt at attack, she hollerred out, "You want a piece of knuckle sandwich?!!"

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  • Alicia's Avatar
    Posted by Alicia Sat Oct 4, 2008 9:48am PDT

    I am sorry, but if my child ever said they were going to break my head they'd be way more miserable when they got home and sent to time out. I have no kids of my own, but have been the aunt to two now and have babysat several others, and worked in retail and seen how children these days have no discipline at all. They hit their parents, or whoever is watching them at the time. They saw extremely angry things, like they hate their mommy because she wouldn't buy them a toy. I would never have dreamt of speaking to adults this way and you can believe there would have been consequences if i had.

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  • JenniferS's Avatar
    Posted by JenniferS Sat Oct 4, 2008 5:57pm PDT

    3 year old's favorite term "I not your Best Friend anymore" or "my dog be nice me when you not"

    Can't wait for her voc. to improve

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  • Cindy's Avatar
    Posted by Cindy Sat Oct 4, 2008 6:01pm PDT

    I don't have kids but my cousin has several. The oldest is especially smart and has said some great things in his 6.5 years. When he was 3.5-4ish apparently one day he saw another little boy on the playground doing something he shouldn't have been doing. He started to tattle to my cousin who, trying to nip tattling in the bud, told him to let that little boy worry about himself and for Andrew (her son) to worry about Andrew. Several days later, Andrew was in trouble and getting yelled at and he looks at my cousin and says, "Mommy you worry about Mommy and let Andrew worry about Andrew." You can't argue with that logic!!!

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