*Disclaimer: this holiday newsletter contains elements of parody. Which is a kind of joke. Which means you are to take it with a large tablespoon of salt.* (Seriously, some people need to be told.)
Greetings, one and all,
It's been a busy year in the lives of the Crabfamily. We moved from rural Crabtown to Crabcity, left friends and enemies behind and are busily making new ones. But change is good! Unless, of course, it's bad. In which case it would not be not good at all.
Thankfully we feel much happier in Crabcity, or at least, Crabmom does—and as we all know a happy mommy is the most important part of any family. I love being back in the urban jungle, even if my particular choice of city puts me in touch with the occasional fascist hippie-mama with whom I might tussle in a verbally abusive exchange on a street corner. But all in all I enjoy taking Crabkid out to parks and playgrounds to mingle with a diverse multi-culti crowd and display her talents and charm to a wider audience.
Speaking of Crabkid we are delighted to have received confirmation of our suspicions: our 4-year-old has officially been declared a genius by her preschool. And not just an intellectual genius but an emotional genius also. In standardized preK ETs (Empathy Tests) she received the highest score possible, proving herself to be gifted at feeling sorry for other people, unless those people are trying to touch her new My Little Pony, in which case she understandably lashes out. After all, she's only four!
Temper the Tantrum: How to deal when your toddler lashes out.
Yes, Crabkid's prescient knowledge, wisdom, and uncanny ability to commiserate with her fellow human beings far beyond her peers continue to enrapture her father and me. It's truly an extraordinary blessing to be the stewards of this marvel of nature! Naturally, we do not take credit for who she is, for that would not only be braggy and ungracious and uncalled for, but it would also be a totally false claim: we did not do anything to make Crabkid who she is. And all we can do is guide her through her journey of life, gently reminding her that she needs to sleep and eat and play between stints of helping others and excelling academically, socially, emotionally, artistically, and gymnastically! (Does it annoy you when parents take too much credit for the way their child behaves?)
And now we turn to the less happy part of this newsletter. Like so many of you, 2008 has brought to our family its share of financial challenges. The recession has certainly changed our lives, making it impossible for us to move forward without making some very basic sacrifices. Like all Americans we will have to take a good long look at our lifestyle and make some drastic cuts. And it's going to hurt. The biggest hardship facing our family right now is the layoff of our housekeeper. We are keeping our au pair, who is also good for laundry and basic cleaning, but our actual housekeeper will have to go, and I'm really struggling with that decision. I am so torn. Because if she goes, then among other things I will have to find time to pull those pesky stickers off the fruit in our fruit bowl. Or maybe I will just leave them on. I don't know. So much is uncertain.
Simple financial tips to help you get the most out of your money.
Anyhoo, cutbacks aside, holidays are a time to be grateful for all that we do have. And truly is my family blessed. I mean, some of you right now are seriously considering switching to generic canned tomatoes for your pasta, instead of San Marzano. That's harsh! But thankfully we're still okay when it comes to high-end luxuries. Indeed, we're amazingly lucky and we are so grateful that we are. Possessing not only health and happiness, we also still own a country house in the winelands of Oregon, a condo in Portofino, and a Colorado ski chalet. Yes, we have to tamp down our household staff, but at least we can still spend our Christmases in Aspen. No staycation for this family! And that is truly something to be glad for.
Hoping you are all hanging in and on during this joyous time of year. Stay positive. Gotta pack!
Crabmommy
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