Parenting

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Cross-dressing in high school: What would you do?

Don’t kid yourself--to many teenage minds, dress codes in high school exist for one reason: to find a way around them. Now, the New York Times reports, school officials are having a harder time than ever making the rules apply as teens begin to express their gender identity and sexuality through their clothing. Sure, the skirt is the right length, but when its worn by a boy, how should a school react?

Not surprisingly, schools are responding very differently in each case, with varying levels of enthusiasm, anger, celebration, and punishment.  In L.A. for example, a gay male student was crowned homecoming queen in his high school, while in Houston, another was sent home when his wig was longer than the collar length specified for boys by the dress code.

The issue of how schools should react is complicated for a few reasons, the most basic being that unlike reprimanding students for dressing in gang colors, or dressing too sexily, school officials must be mindful of antidiscrimination policies when addressing cross-dressing students. Schools that are opposed to cross-dressing say that school is distracting enough without cross-dressers making it more so, and that sending them home protects them from harm at the hands of other students. But schools that are open to cross-dressing  say that the issue is only as big as officials make it, and that students are often surprisingly more tolerant than those that govern them.

Personally, the second line of reasoning makes more sense to me as a former teenager (always looking for a new way to express myself/ rebel) and a current parent (understanding that kids LOVE whatever is forbidden to them). But I’m not a teacher, and my child is not in mid- or even high school.

So, parents of school-aged kids, I’m curious: what do you think? Short of ordering every kid into a gender-appropriate uniform, what would you recommend to schools struggling to address the growing number of cross-dressing teens? Would you let your son wear a skirt to school? Would you let your daughter wear a tuxedo to Prom?
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 63
  • Kim's Avatar
    Posted by Kim Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:14pm PST

    when i was in highschool they actully had a day called ,"Opposite Sex Day" and everyone dressed up as the opposite sex. Honestly, i dont think dress code is a major deal, sure there are some girls who always seem to want to have thier a** hang out but in the end no really cares execpt the teachers themselves. my opinion ofcourse

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  • Mysterious Gryphon's Avatar
    Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:22pm PST

    If I had a child who identified as the gender opposite of his or her biological sex, I would be sad for the difficult road that lies ahead for him or her.

    And then I would get over it, and start defending the rights of my child to express him or herself and to live as him or herself. I happened to like being a girl - still do. Does everyone have to like it? No. That's what makes life wonderful and diverse.

    One of my favorite movie lines is from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - "Allah loves wonderous variety."

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  • Laura -'s Avatar
    Posted by Laura - Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:32pm PST

    I guess I feel like if a child at school is breaking a strict dress code because they are trans gendered, the parent should maybe let the school know that the child is identifying him or herself as the opposite sex, to avoid the (one day) inherant controversy of Eric who likes his long blond skater boy hair, versus Carlos who now prefers to go by Carla. Most transgendered kids then use the unisex nurse's bathroom, etc.

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  • Sara P.'s Avatar
    Posted by Sara P. Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:37pm PST

    We had alot of girls who would dress in guys clothing and some even had the hair cut like them and everything..Sometimes it was hard to tell if it was a guy or girl. But to each there own I say

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  • Cherokee's Avatar
    Posted by Cherokee Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:40pm PST

    would you believe,Gorbie told Ronnie,he

    had plans to "tear down the wall",,so Ronnie, grandstanding,after Gorbie left,made his famous??

    statement

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  • A$hleyGirl's Avatar
    Posted by A$hleyGirl Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:42pm PST

    In this day and age where color is being accepted and gays and lesbians are being recognized and respected in society I think it is only fair to allow those who are truly transgendered to express themselves just so long as it is tastefully done.

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  • Kristine's Avatar
    Posted by Kristine Mon Nov 9, 2009 8:10pm PST

    I think crossdressing laws are geared more towards gay males. There are plenty of lesbians at my school (I'm a junior in high school) who have short haircuts and wear boy's clothing and don't have anything said to them, but boys who wear too much makeup get sent home (no guys at our school really dress in girl's clothing other than girl pants). It's discrimination, and I'm highly opposed to it.

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  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Mon Nov 9, 2009 9:33pm PST

    enforce the normal rules for both... no bagging clothing, no under garments may show, no flip flops, skirts must be longer than so many inches...... which are normal rules anyways. just nobody enforces them

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  • becca's Avatar
    Posted by becca Mon Nov 9, 2009 10:26pm PST

    The high school i went to never really did anything about the girls who dressed too sexy. It actually seemed encouraged. So I would be extremely pissed if they made rules against cross dressing.

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  • binnphoenix's Avatar
    Posted by binnphoenix Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:36am PST

    In my high school there were at least 3 males who were transgendered, there were over 25 girls who were considered boys, I only knew a handful of them so I can not say if they are transgendered or not. In our school district our school was known for being gay-friendly and transgendered friendly and teased for it recklessly by the ignorant. (There were at least 7 high schools in our district) When you make a big deal out of it, then not only do you hurt the transgendered person, but you hurt the future possibility of tolerance for that student's peers. There is no reason to kick a transgendered student out of school unless they are breaking dress code in the sex they wish to dress as. It is not disrupting class, except maybe the teacher. The kids do not care and most likely they are happy for their peer to finally identify himself or herself as they truly are.

    One of the transgendered males began dressing that way in middle school. One day she was dressed like a boy and the next she came to school dressed as a girl. I believe that she is legally a woman now. Suppressing these children into a school board administration's view will only hurt the future of these children, there is no reason to prohibit transgendered person from dressing as they truly feel they are inside. (aside from ignorance and hate of course, which should not be allowed.)

    If this happen again, I would suggest to the students (and supportive parents and teachers) of the school to all come into school dressed as the opposite sex in support of their peers, if they try to send everyone home, organize a sit-in. Do not leave until your point is made.

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