Parenting
Monday, December 7, 2009
Dad uses teenage girl for his pathetic parties.
user
- by Rosalie, on Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:26pm PST
I am a 13 year ols girl, and I am sick of my father. I have been in
a depressed state of mind for quite some time now. My father is a
good guy, but uses me for things I don't want to be part of. He
hosts many parties monthly for dinners, and neighborhood
entertainment. I don't care much about his party habits. He
does it because my mom did it, and when she left my dad no one else
could. Now that I'm 13 I spend more time in the kitchen cooking
and cleaning then I spend doing schoolwork. I hate to blame him for
it all, but he decided to keep on doing these crazy parties. When I
turned 5 my daddy handed me a hot pad and taught me how to cook. I
don't like his parties much, and lately it seems like I have
been the one throwing the parties. I do all the cooking for them. I
clean up after them. I am an 'A' student and my fear lies
with my grades. When it comes to school I'm a nervous wreck.
All these parties that I basically slave for could take a toll.
Everyone loves my cooking, but they don't know that I'm the
one cooking it. I turn out to be the greeter at his parties along
with freaking waitress... I end up stuck with helping out with the
kids. The stress is starting to take it's toll. Am I wrong to
be a little mad at my dad? This thanksgiving he is holding a party
that I have to cook for. I want it to be a family event, but he
wants it to be an oppurtunity for more people to love his house...
His daughter... I have two sisters, and they get Kudos for all
the respect they show towards my dad. I am a strong believer in
respect, and I always feel terrible after his parties that I
disrespected him completely at. I humiliate him in front of his
house guests and I feel the guilt for it. Am I in the wrong or is
he?
Related: upset kids, parties, bad parents
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Posted by Z's Wed Nov 26, 2008 12:24pm PST
Rosalie-- You are his daughter, NOT his slave. The only thing you should be concerned about is school, your friends and your grades. I'm sorry that your father doesn't understand this. Not only are you having to deal with not having a mother around, but your father is taking complete advantage of you and putting even more unnecessary stress on you.
Do you have a grandparent close by that you could speak to about this? I suggest you try to enlist another adult, if not a family member, then maybe a teacher, principal, guidance counselor--someone you trust to help you talk to your father and explain to him that it is not your responsibility to throw his parties. Do NOT feel guilty about being upset at this situation-- it is HIS mistake, and he is not acting like a responsible adult or dad. Good luck honey.
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Posted by St.JimmyHavok Wed Mar 4, 2009 5:20pm PST
I side with z'smom on this one. if your grades are slipping, it's a huge problem. Talk to a school counselor. He may not listen to you, but maybe if another adult talked to him, he'd see that he's wrong.
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