Parenting
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Dark Days
user
I'm a mom to two very little kids (ages three and one),
and I've been dragged through the mud by depression really
hard. I'm losing my grip on sanity. My husband is not
supportive of me getting counseling or taking medication. He
believes that a lot of mental health problems would be solved
through his spiritual beliefs. He says I'm not depressed, just
lazy. It's really hard to cope with this. I don't know what
to do. — At The End Of My Rope
Dear ATEOMR,
It sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a
holier-than-thou place.
Our advice in this case is very straightforward. You need to get
help. What you are experiencing is real and potentially dangerous
-- to you and your children. Your husband's beliefs are real to
him too, but it doesn't sound like you necessarily share them,
and it definitely doesn't sound like they're giving you the
help you need in this situation. Whether or not it's even
possible for postpartum depression to be remedied by faith alone is
questionable. But you don't have time for questioning.
You need help. Now.
Perhaps if your husband is averse to formal psychotherapy, you
could pursue a postpartum support group or a general new mom's
group and use that to segue into more personalized care if
necessary. The group leader should be able to direct you to
resources, or perhaps even help you work through some of your
issues directly. It's not clear how connected you feel to the
spiritual side or what the belief system in play is, but perhaps it
could be helpful to discuss your concerns with a religious leader.
You'll have to gauge whether you think this could be helpful or
would simply reinforce your husband's position. The denial of
mental illness (or its interpretation as a moral failing) by the
clergy is pretty common and can be an impediment on the path to
care.
To read the rest of the article, go to
babble.
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Posted by zelda Thu Jul 2, 2009 6:16am PDT
i went through that too.depression is real!!!!go see a doctor.get the doctor to refer you to a therapist.if you cannot afford one your community should be able to help out.your husband,well........GOD CAN HELP.but not by your mate saying you are lazy.stick up for yourself and you are worth something and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.you can do it!!!i battle depression daily@it is hard to see anything good.i have to be on medication and i exercise and listen to silly music.that helps.its hard to look at all your problems.some are to painful.do not give up no matter what!!!yeah and a support group of women with young children is a must.do not be afraid to open up.you will not be sorry.do not be ashamed.you are a human.not GOD.you will find others with the same problems.some with worse.you will heal by opening up.
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Posted by Mommadukes Thu Jul 2, 2009 6:41am PDT
What you are going through is not abnormal. It is common for moms of tikes to become depressed. It is not necessarily because you are unhappy with your husband and children explain that to your husband. It is a harmonal (sp) unbalance shared by alot of women for many different reasons and it treatable so why be unhappy or miserable. I myself suffered from a bout of depression after the passing of my mother. It was really really bad, no motivation, no energy, no focus, was able to cry in a heartbeat but I sought help and went on antidepressants. However, kindly note that this does not mean that you will take them for the rest of your life it may only be for a while. I was on them for about a year. Once I started feeling better my doctor weaned me off of them and I have been antidepressant free for about 2 years now. It was the best decision I ever made. Not treating the depression is worse for not only for yourself but your family as well. I'm sure you and your children would love to have Mom back to her old self, ready to play and happy. Good luck.
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Posted by hotNspicy Thu Jul 2, 2009 3:24pm PDT
dont give up. Be strong. Dont let depression win. Do whatever it takes to try and feel better for your family the kids need you. As for your husband he should be more supportive. your not lazy this kind of thing happens.The good news is you can get passsed it. Feel better soon.
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Posted by Spam I Am Sun Jul 5, 2009 9:41am PDT
Whoa, he called you "lazy"?! Whatever happened to "Judge ye not lest ye
be judged"? That's not a husband, that's a martinet. Step back from him
a little (or more) and get some help.
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