At our house last week, we got our much-anticipated copy of "Grand Theft Auto: IV." Here's a game that nearly every parent's group from MADD to my local mom's list condemned. But I'm taking a stand as a gamer parent, and saying, I can have my kids and be a good parent, too.

Bottom line: I know kids should absolutely not play these games. They're not created for kids, and kids shouldn't be exposed to their content. But I'm not convinced more legislation or government regulation will solve the problem. It's gotta start with me, the parent. You can be a gamer and a concerned parent, and here's how.

1. Also play games that you can play with the whole family: While I'm playing Bioshock after the kid's gone to bed, I'd never play that with her or in front of her. So, I'll also keep games on hand that are right for kids and that we can even play together. When you're playing together, you can take that time to reinforce good gaming habits (like limiting the time you play) and games that are age appropriate. Sports games are a great pick. I love my Nintendo Wii, because it's so easy for young kids to pick up and it has tons of kid-friendly titles. Plus, it encourages gamers to get off their butts while they game.

2. Know your ratings: The Entertainment Software Rating Board rates every single video game released, just like the MPAA rates movies. The ratings range from "Early Childhood" to "Adults Only," which is somewhat equivalent to Rated G to NC-17/X. If you wouldn't let your kid watch an NC-17 movie, you shouldn't be OK with them playing an M-Rated game, either. As a non-parent, I never gave these ratings a second thought, but now I'm more aware of which games are inappropriate for little players, and also where my non-kid-friendly games are.

3. Use those parental control settings: All three of the new gaming platforms have built-in parental controls that allow you to determine what rating level you're OK with for your family. Kids are smart, and even if you don't let them buy or rent these off-limits games, their friends' parents may not be so protective. So, lock your system up, so they won't even let him/her boot up a borrowed title. Now, go into the menus on your platforms (you know, the ones you never used before), and turn that stuff on. This can also work on your home PC, if you're worried about PC games.

4. Get to know the popular games: Since I'm a gamer, I'm always looking to see what the next hottest game will be. If you're kid's a gamer, they are, too! The temptation to play these games is all in the marketing and buzz around them. So when your kids see the hype around a game like "GTA: 4," which broke all-time games and entertainment sales records, you know they're gonna want to be cool and get their hands on it. Check out game reviews, especially on sites that hope to guide parents to make smart decisions about their kids' games like What They Play. When you're on the line regarding the rating, these reviews will give you that extra info you need to know when to say when.

5. Watch your kids play: Watching them play their game accomplishes a few things: it'll let them talk about their game, you can compliment them on their mad skills, and plus, you'll know exactly what they're playing. So, make sure the game systems you want your kids to play are out in the open on a family TV. If you're worried about them monopolizing the TV too much, give them designated times when they can play. I think my kid only has to worry about me telling her what she's doing wrong -- not cool.

6. Violent games may not be the most dangerous: Personally, I think some of the most problematic games out there are those that take up so much time and attention that you basically disengage from the world. I personally won't even start playing games like "World of Warcraft," because I know I'll just get sucked in and not want to do much else. If you kid is spending too much time playing a game, it could be tough to ever turn it off. Be careful before letting your kids get started on one of these time-sucks.

7. Let kids rent games and manage that list: Sites like Gamefly and others let you rent games the same way you'd rent movies from Netflix. But the nice thing about this for parents is that you can manage your account centrally. You know which games are in your kids' queue, and you can veto the choices if you know they're picking titles not cool for their age. You also know which games have been sent out, in case they sneak one into the queue before you catch it. It's a nice way to support their fun but still monitor things.

8. Be a parent!: This is THE most important rule for all us parents. I know I can keep these games in my house, because I know I will tell my daughter, "No, this game isn't for you. It's for grown-ups." I'll talk to her about why I don't want her playing them, and I'll tell her that she can decide to play them when she's older. This is the same conversation I plan to have with her around movies, TV shows, books, and music, too. Treat "GTA" as you'd treat "Pulp Fiction" or "The Sopranos," and you're headed in the right direction. Also, you have to crack down when you find them playing a game they shouldn't. Maybe this means no games for a week or maybe harsher -- this one's up to you as a parent. But they have to know you mean it when you say, "Hands off."

For more info on how to talk to your kids about "GTA:4," first check out what real teens are saying about the game and why they want to play it, and then read this helpful article that gives you more tips (especially if you're not a gamer) on how to talk to your kids about games.


Related posts:

Wii fit: U Fat
Throw a cheap Wii party for two dozen kids
Mom of Tweens: Weeee! I won Wii!
Sexist video games: Boys just being boys?