It doesn't matter if you're dealing with male infertility, female infertility, or the mysterious "unexplained infertility"....coping with happily pregnant women can make you feel like your very soul has been struck down.
My husband and I won't be able to get pregnant naturally -- and I'm surrounded by fertile females! One of my friends is pregnant with her second child, another's husband just had a vasectomy because three kids is enough, a third just gave birth to her second son, and a fourth friend just announced her pregnancy after five years of trying! Bring out the balloons.
I admit it: I struggle with resentment.
If you’re riding the same infertility roller coaster, here are five
tips for not resenting the pregnant women in your life....
5 Tips For Not Resenting Your Pregnant Friends
1. Remember that it’s not their fault. This is my husband’s tip: remember that it’s not their fault that you can’t get pregnant. Don’t let your disappointment, frustration, or depression taint your friendships. They didn’t get pregnant or have a vasectomy to make you feel bad (I hope) - it’s just your friends living their own lives.
2. Put yourself in their shoes. Your pregnant friends may have been in your boat, and found it was taking too long for them to have a baby. They may have experienced miscarriages, abortions, or stillborn babies…and may finally be experiencing the joy of pregnancy. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, put yourself in their shoes and really be happy for them. They’ll be happy for you when you finally conceive a child!
3. Talk about your feelings. If you’re
relationship is close enough, then share your feelings of
resentment with your pregnant friends. Sometimes just expressing
your thoughts can make them less burdensome. If you can, be honest
with your loved ones - because bottling them up can make them more
hurtful.
To read the rest, go to Tips for Not Resenting Your Pregnant
Friends.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen is a full-time
writer and blogger who created and maintains a series of Quips
and Tips blogs: Quips and Tips for Successful
Writers, Quips
and Tips for Achieving Your Goals, and
Quips and Tips for Couples Coping With
Infertility. She's also the Feature
Writer for Psychology
Suite101.
