You’re in luck! You have plenty of options! 10 sexy picks for your children and pre-teens.
- April Daniels Hussar, BettyConfidential.com
Halloween can be such a hassle, can’t it? Between putting up the decorations, stocking up on candy and – oh yes – finding suitable hooker-gear for our daughters, why, it’s almost as much work as Christmas! Never fear, here in one place you have everything you need to turn your sweet little girl into the stuff of Roman Polanski’s dreams. Makeup sold separately. Trick or treat!
1. The Bratz doll cheerleader – in pleather! Because regular cheerleading outfits aren’t provocative enough. Note the classy pleather choker and fishnet cuff. It’s all in the details! (Only $19.99, anytimecostume.com)
2. If a pleather cheerleader is just so been there done that, this next one will surely do the trick. In fact, it’s my PERSONAL FAVORITE: The Cheerless Leader Costume. "Costume includes dress, fishnet short pants and pom-poms," but clearly you can’t get away with not buying the matching lace-up glovettes! (Costume $24.99; glovettes $7.00, infashionkids.com)
3. Pink Skull Pirate Costume: Thankfully this one comes in x-small for your tiniest hooker. Note the saucy hot pink beribboned bodice and “matching panties.” They really thought of everything! ($49.99, costumeexpress.com)
4. Rubies Girls Bratz Doll Doctor Costume, complete with snazzy sequins and a removable bolero jacket. I hope there are spaghetti straps under there! Now why don’t real doctors dress like this? And you moms of toddlers thought everything would be too big for your little angels … fret not, this one’s size small fits a “3-4 year old!” ($34.99, costumealibi.com)
What a shame the Sexy Ladybug Costume is out of stock! But don’t worry … the same site offers a plethora of vamped up fairytale characters. Disney, after all, is just sooo tame, right?
5. Move over Minnie … here comes Little Miss Mouse! Again the classy chocker – and look how perfectly it matches with the French maid-esque naughty petticoat and the peek-a-bustier. But really, wouldn’t a garter belt complete the ensemble? Hurry – it’s “almost sold out!” ($49.99, brandonsale.com)
6. The "Preteen" Fairy Tale Alice Costume is a great transition on the way to full blown Teen Sexy Alice Costume don’t you agree? ($49.99, brandonsale.com)
7. Preteen Striped Prison Girl Costume. Ah, nothing says Halloween for children like a little bondage action, right moms? Think of all the fun your preteen will have with those handcuffs! And so convenient – the entire getup can be unzipped in one fell swoop. But don’t forget the fishnet stockings! As the website so helpfully points out, “These items are often bought together.” (Get both for $29.98, brandonsale.com)
8. Dark Angel Child Costume. Perfect for YOUR little angels! The product description really says it all: “A white tethered dress with a black lace overlay and ruffled lace tank style straps, a set of sheer angle wings with a dark printed design across the center, a black ruffled lace halo, and a pair of black fishnet glovettes. A pair of black leggings is also included to complete this dark yet sweet ensemble.” Sweet! ($39.99, buycostumes.com)
9 & 10. Of course, if you’re really a classicist at heart, then a child-size French Maid costume is a must-have. As this product description for the pink and black ensemble on the left says, “Your child can dust all the dust bunnies in this adorable French Maid child costume.” Just what I was thinking! Alas, the smallest size is a “medium”, so you should also consider the zinger on the right, which, so conveniently, comes in a small for kids 4 - 6. Phew! Check out the garter belt and the adjustable shoulders. Look out, kindergarten! ($19.95, purecostume.com; $18.95, costumes4less.com)
There you have it – a plethora of trampy little outfits for even our youngest daughters. I wish I could say that these aren’t real, or that some of them really don’t come in sizes small enough for pre-schoolers, but they are, and they do. I know that when I was 13, I probably would have loved to wear one of these get-ups, but it would have been over my mother’s dead body. And any younger than that – it’s not even fathomable. Somehow the bar has been lowered so much. Is it any wonder I’m only half kidding when I say I’m about ready to pack up my family and move to a desert island somewhere my 6-year-old daughter will be safe to be a little girl, at least until the ripe old age of 9, when she officially becomes a “tween”?
Happy Halloween!
To read more about parenting from BettyConfidential:
Would you Donate Your Breast Milk?
10 Best Halloween Movies for Kids
