Fertility abuse: Are we crossing the line in the quest to have kids?

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  Posted by Beth Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:56pm PDT

  Governments are loathe to place regulations on who can, who should, and under what circumstances people have children so you end up with irresponsible, risky and just plain stupid decisions like the cases you sited.

  It would be nice if people used common sense and made rational decisions but when it comes to a woman's urge to have children....sometimes it's not rational. I know I'm quickly approaching the "desperate and stupid" phase.

  Remind me again how it's not ok to go behind my boyfriend's back and poke holes in condoms.

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  Posted by realitygirl13 Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:42pm PDT

  How old is too old to have a baby? When there is a good chance you will die before your child is 18, you're too old. I don't get it either, these older women wanting to have babies, they had 40 good years to "be ready" and now they want children? It's a selfish act, one in which the Mom is not thinking about the well being of her future child, but of her own desire to be a Mom.

  As for the multiple-births, the parents know what they are getting into when they go through IVF, there is a HUGE chance they wont conceive, but just the same, there is a HUGE chance they will have multiples (Twins and up). It's irresponsible to go through IVF if you know ahead of time, worst case scenario, you could have up to 8 kids in one delivery and you don't have the means to support those kids. Even if you have the financial means, there is no way you can give your un-interrupted love and attention to 8 kids of the same age.

  I believe in a couples right to a family, by any means, but when they want it so bad they are willing to sacrifice the well-being of their child for it, that's wrong and selfish.

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  Posted by anonymous whatever Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:06pm PDT

  H E -double hockey sticks YES they are going to far! I think that fertility should be governed by the government and should be limited to 2 embryos per try and is almost cosmetic like breast implants. I think it is so nasty when women who are in their late 40's and older go in doing this when there are children all over the world who need to be adopted.

  They had the chance to bear their own children and are still selfish till the day they die. She just provides solid proof why old women should not be having IVF.

  This also goes for women who want to have a circus freak show. They want it for the fame and are exploiting children for themselves and a meal ticket. Stop watching those horrendous shows and please prevent women who are age 45 yrs and up not the privilege of having children.

  You can't have everything! It is just disgusting.

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  Posted by anonymous whatever Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:19pm PDT

  To clarify I mean do not let women who are 45 yrs and up to conceive through IVF or surrogacy. They should adopt an older child. Period.

  This is common sense. I think that sometimes women can be grossly lacking the intellect to realize that mother nature has women go through menopause for a reason.

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  Posted by effenjen Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:29pm PDT

  Don't forget European scientists and doctors have discovered how to manipulate chromosomes so that you can may choose to have a boy or a girl when you are ready. That's pretty scary. What if your child was supposed to be a girl, and you manipulated the chromes to make it a boy? Would he be gay? Just a thought.

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  Posted by someday85 Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:20pm PDT

  You are only looking at the worst examples of what fertility treatments result in. Without them I will never be able to have a child of my own, so I am very grateful that these treatments are there to help people like me. I am 23 years old and not some nut job that wants a litter of kids. Just so everyone knows there are people like me who have valid reasons for needing to under go these treatments, and I wish health insurance covered more of them.

  Before I get stormed in just adopt email and comments please know that I do believe that is a great way to have a family, and it will probably be something I will do down the line.

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  Posted by JBH Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:20pm PDT

  Yes, I think its going way too far, and doctors should be held more accountable for their actions in this. People come out of the wood work for all sorts of odd procedures, and providers need to screen hopeful candidates more closely.... especially when it comes to children. Obviously, a lot of these docs are just in it for the payoff.

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  Posted by paige_n_jordans_mom Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:23pm PDT

  *someday85* I don't believe the poster was referring to women in your situation. I believe she is more upset about those that abuse the system than those who truly need help conceiving. Women considering IVF certainly need to be well informed of the risks and possibilities, including the strain multiples can have on a marriage. Also, I believe that there should be some kind of age limit enforced, whether that be a specific age or related to menopause.

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  Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:53pm PDT

  someday85, my dear, you are so very, very young to be a mommy. How many years did you spend growing your marriage before you introduced the enormous strain of fertility treatments and a tiny, demanding infant to it? Did you really NEED the treatments, or could you have waited, oh, a year or two first to see what God might provide?

  I know you said that you "know" adoption is a good choice, but you also said that you wanted a child "of my own," which implies that you feel an adopted baby would never really belong to you. It would be just a poor substitute. You should be ashamed for promulgating such hideous notions.

  If you can afford to feed, clothe, house, and educate a child for the next 18-25 years, why didn't you turn to adoption first, before relying on such unnatural methods of conceiving? Why not just let nature take its course, and in the meantime take in a beautiful, already existing child who needs to be loved by a mommy?

  Please, people of all ages, think ADOPTION FIRST. Then abuse your body with IVF after you've taken in three or four needy infants.

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  Posted by Alexi_Smith Wed Jul 15, 2009 8:04pm PDT

  are the cases mentioned in the article any concern in the grand scheme compared to babies born to families that don't wat them... can't afford them...beat them and/or neglect them... do drugs. the list goes on... i needed IVF and i believe that you should either pass a law that controls everyones right to have a baby or leave me alone... the gosselins have 8 kids... plus the other octuplets and the now orphaned twins...18 kids... how many are in impoverished conditions/dangerous or abusive circumstances or foster care in YOUR city... how about your state! Yes adoption is a great thing but thats not what this is about its about people wanting to say what measures you can go to to have a child as if being fertile means you are automatically a good parent.. watch Springer or Dr Phil... lots of great examples there

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