Help a Shine mama out: How do you find one-on-one time with each of your kids?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Karen A Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:17pm PST

  One thing I found that worked for me was while one child was doing homework or relaxing the other got to be the special helper in the kitchen. Not only did we get to spend a hour together that it is only us but she has learned some valuable skills in the kitchen as well. I found that any time I can give to just one is special, it doesnt have to be half the day, and hour here or there is just as wonderful if the time is quality time

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  Posted by 29_and holding Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:19pm PST

  We cook together. Sometimes on the weekend I will take one of the 3 and go shopping with them while the other 2 stay home with daddy. It is so very hard to find the time for each one.

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:00pm PST

  I pick random moments to spend one-on-one time with any one of my brood of 3. If I'm going out to run an errand and their dad is home, I'll invite one kid along with me and we'll stop for a quick ice cream cone or muffin someplace. Sometimes it's as simple as laying down and watching a movie or cartoons with one while the other 2 are out playing. I try to sit and talk about things while one of them relaxes in my bathtub in my bathroom, or letting one stay up an extra half hour to read books with me.

  I like to keep it simple. Spending one-on-one time is more about the time spent and the communication that results than it is the venue in which it takes place.

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  Posted by pandora Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:12pm PST

  I usually spend time with my siblings so that mom may have one-on-one time with one of the others. It's a little bit easier now that we are getting older but before it was tricky. Me being the oldest, I like to have one-on-one time with my siblings since I no longer live at home so I get little events which are becoming traditions, i.e. Christmas shopping w/ each one individually. I think creating traditions is a good way to go. By the way... there's 5 of us.

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  Posted by Chana C Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:58am PST

  I read an interesting story about a rabbi who had a ton of children. I don't remember the exact number, it was in last month's Readers Digest, but I think he had somewhere near 10 kids. He's method was to actually schedule an appointment with each child for an hour each week. For that hour the child got his full and undivided attention. While it may seem silly to schedule in your child, how often is your attention to them that focused? Often even when spending time with our kids the telephone rings, the other children need help with something, or there are other small interuptions. Make a little time each day of course, but try to set a specific time almost like a date night where it is just you and the one child being together. When it's planned ahead of time the kid will be able to plan out what they want to do with you, or if they want to work up courage to talk to you about something specific they can. You may find that both you and the kids look forward to this special time.

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  Posted by Melinda Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:21am PST

  Hello anyone, I am desperately seeking some of advice on what to do w/my 7 yr old daughter. Her dad and I split after 15 yrs of marriage, I have twins that are 4( a boy and a girl ). I try to spend as much quality time as possible w/ her but she still keeps on acting out. The divorce was not pleasant and her dad has already introduced a new girl friend to the picture. She is constantly picking on her twin brother and sister,its like one long drama after another after school. I've talked to her dad about spending more quality time w/ her but all he seems to do to solve the problem is buy her things, which makes it worse. Any advice would be much appreciated

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  Posted by Kerry Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:35am PST

  My kids are older, so when one of them is sick and home from school it is a great time to baby them. I snuggle in bed with them and watch cartoons. Laundry can wait.

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  Posted by Girlie Mom Tue Nov 11, 2008 2:41pm PST

  I dance with my 9 year old to highschool musical while cooking dinner and cleaning on the weekends and my 12 year old and I read together :) We just LOVE when one our favorite books becomes a movie!!

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  Posted by SandraW Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:08pm PST

  Find an activity to do with them separately,and at diffeent times.

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  Posted by Joan Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:05pm PST

  Since all of our children have different personalities.

  When I go to get my hair done ill take my middle girl, even if its for the littlest trim then have the stylist do her hair. And my son is 5, now and then if I notice he is having trouble sleeping. I will go in and ask him if he can plat a quick game of old maid, or go fish (really quit). It always makes him smile and feel special. our oldest I have been asking her opinion on my clothes or what to have for dinner, sometimes ask her if she wouldn't mind staying up an extra bit and watch tv/hang with mom. She always laughs and says yes.

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