HELP! Let Me Out!

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  Posted by Jeff Thu May 15, 2008 2:49pm PDT

  I was very touched by your story. If you want to help him to mature then you need to let him do some things on his own. I know that can be difficult, as I watch my 8 year old pretty close. If you have direct tv, you can set up parental controls on the TV. I'm he knows that you love him, but he also needs to know that you trust him. Try some baby steps. Like him watch TV alone for 5-10 min, just make sure he knows where you are. Best of luck.

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  Posted by smartsexyrichcrazy.com Fri May 16, 2008 1:09am PDT

  Good story Bbee. I think the first step is acknowleding now as you read and write you research other mothers that have children with autism, maybe join some support groups if you havent already. I think Toni Braxton, Jenny Mccarthy, are all faced with similiar struggles. Jenny wrote a book on it. Your not alone. Mocha

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  Posted by Bbee Fri May 16, 2008 1:31am PDT

  Thank you Mocha!

  Dang, I really appreciate you!

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  Posted by Mimi-pz Fri May 16, 2008 1:41pm PDT

  Bbee I so admire you!

  Like Mocha said, admitting and acknowledging you need to let go is a huge first step.

  My sister has a medically fragile daughter -- very severe disabilities (they've actually just had to put her in a home). I was talking with her once -- J has seizures and you never know how bad they could be. Sis says, yes she worries, but "whatever happens will happen" whether she's there or not. It took her a while to come to this. And she is very controlling -- so much so that she dictates what J's hair should look like and what J should wear while in the care facility -- but she's come to accept there are things beyond her control.

  I agree with Mocha -- you need to find some support groups or some others going through what you are. Since your son is high functioning, perhaps you could take "baby steps" and back away slowly. Does he go to school or do you home school? Is there a program at your local school he could be involved in?

  Good luck! And dang, raising kids is hard without all the "extra stuff" life throws at you! You are obviously a very caring and loving mom! Good luck!

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  Posted by B Sat May 17, 2008 11:44pm PDT

  I'm curious and forgive me for asking a question that may be perceived as rude. Perhaps you don't know the answer yourself but what will happen in the future when you aren't around? Has anyone given you any advice? I realize you may not be aware of just what your child will be able to accomplish in life. I know of a fellow who was/is termed "retarded." This boy was my neighbor. This young man still lives with his parents but he is able to hold down odd jobs. He's a very hard working individual! Whenever I see him he's doing one of his jobs whether it's helping his mother at her job or in the past he bagged groceries. I don't know I just wonder.

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  Posted by Bbee Sun May 25, 2008 11:03pm PDT

  Our journey is our journey ... I never expected to start where we started from and I am very uncertain about our future. This is where the big Q comes into play. I wish I had a crystal ball that would allow me to see my sweetie happy as a grown up adult.

  I understand the meaning of your post and feel that these words will help me see a brighter future instead of LIFE WITHOUT MOMMY!

  hhhmmmm, good answer!

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  Posted by Dawn Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:21am PDT

  I agree that support is vital. He does need to explore and flourish on his own too. Maybe try something small at first like tv or alone play time while you are in another room doing a chore? Sometimes the best way to get over something is to just do it! I am willing to be grandma would love to help you out with this! Good luck!

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