Parenting

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Hilary Swank sleeps naked in front of boyfriend's kid. So what?

Occasionally, I will see an article denouncing something I find so reasonable that it leaves me wondering if I've turned into some kind of free-love, hippie-dippy child of the sun.

The Huffington Post reported Friday that Hilary Swank sleeps in the nude, and doesn't throw on clothes the minute her boyfriend's 6-year-old walks in the room, citing this excerpt from the actress's interview with Joanna Coles in November's Marie Claire:

JC: What do you sleep in?

HS: I don't sleep in anything. Do you sleep in a nightgown?

JC: I sleep in pj's. I have two young sons, so I have to be conscious of that.

HS: Well, my boyfriend's son is 6 years old, and you wonder at what age you should stop walking around nude. Every morning he comes into the bedroom, and you're just nude. But he doesn't look twice; he doesn't think about it yet. I just toss and turn too much when I sleep, and if I'm in clothes, I get all twisted up.

I'm not entirely sure which problem the Huffington Post is trying to point out here, as they've basically just lifted the paragraph and offered zero insight beyond the provocative headline, "Hilary Swank Sleeps Naked, Stays Naked in front of Boyfriend's Six-Year-Old." Is the issue that she doesn't pull her clothes on in front of a six-year-old, or that she doesn't pull on her clothes in front of a six-year-old who is not hers biologically? And is there anything deeply wrong, either way?

Given the excerpt, I'm not seeing it. First off, Swank says that the child in question doesn't look twice. That's a reasonable observation to make, and just the fact that she has made it makes me think she'll change her behavior when he does. Second, while she's not his mother, she's not just a random, naked adult making pancakes with her privates exposed. She's his dad's longtime girlfriend (three years and counting), and she's naked in context.

There are adults who sleep naked. I don't think that kind of knowledge on its own makes a kid's brain explode, but then again, I'm also of the opinion that there are a lot of situations in the world that don't cater to children specifically, and navigating them is part of what makes kids become good adults. I'm not saying parents should lounge naked in the living room, but nakedness is a natural state, and as long as it comes in context and without sexual implications, is there really anything wrong with a kid seeing it?

As a person who strangles herself sleeping in clothes (and therefore doesn't), I'm genuinely curious about what other parents think. So far, my son, LBZ, hasn't seemed to grasp the difference between naked and clothed, but he's just a baby, and hasn't grasped the difference between many things--hot and cold, toy and butcher knife, Fran Drescher and Debbie Mazar. So what do you think, parents? Have I scarred LBZ for life already? What's the cut off point for nakedness in front of children? Should I find my way to the nearest Rainbow Gathering?

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 62
  • Jackie's Avatar
    Posted by Jackie Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:45pm PDT

    Naked is completely natural. Freaking out and covering up as soon as a kid walks into a room is going to scar them more than seeing someone naked. There's nothing to be ashamed about. If I had a body like Hilary Swank, I'd sleep in the buff, too!! Go Hilary!

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  • Marie's Avatar
    Posted by Marie Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:03pm PDT

    Being naked is how where brought into this world every single one of us so people need to get over it. Hilary is like a mother igure to this child so what is the big deal. Just like breast feeding if every man in the world thught about what her did to his mother they would go jump off a bridge

    Thank you

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  • lovey's Avatar
    Posted by lovey Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:24am PDT

    Naked in front of your own kids is one thing...but naked in front of your BOYFRIENDS 6 year old son is very creepy. I don't care if you sleep nude at home or when the boy is not there...but cover up when he's staying with the dad.

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  • JollyGreenMidget's Avatar
    Posted by JollyGreenMidget Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:53am PDT

    No kids of my own yet, but I'll probably be clothed mom if I have boys. Growing up, I saw my mom and aunts nude and it sure didn't scar me for life-rather I was very aware that most women aren't Victoria's Secret models (and with a dad in advertising, I knew VS models didn't even really look like that). Never saw a grown man naked when I was a kid, and that was fine because as a child I probably would have gotten freaked out. I'll probably be the same way, if I have a daughter, nudity is ok, but not with a boy once he's no longer a baby.

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  • Mysterious Gryphon's Avatar
    Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:30am PDT

    JollyGreenMidget: what about boys seeing their dads naked? I didn't have any brothers, but I often hear about boys noticing that their penises don't look just their dad's ... which means that they have seen their dad's penises.

    I was once in a locker room at the gym and a mom had her 2yo boy in there with her. I felt really weird changing my clothes in front of him, so I waited till they left. I don't think that kids should just be allowed to see any old person in the nude, but I see much less trouble with seeing you parents naked when you're little.

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  • Rebekah's Avatar
    Posted by Rebekah Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:53am PDT

    When children are old enough to grasp that there is an importance to nakedness, they are old enough to knock before they enter their parents' room (and by that time they're generally not too keen on seeing their parents naked).

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  • Leah's Avatar
    Posted by Leah Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:10am PDT

    I used to let my children shower with me...when they were toddlers, it was just easier that way...but once they started noticing the difference in our bodies, it was time for a little more modesty.

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  • JollyGreenMidget's Avatar
    Posted by JollyGreenMidget Mon Oct 12, 2009 8:39am PDT

    I just happen to have always been a pretty modest person myself. Sometimes I wish I could have the "naked is good and natural" mindset, but I just don't. I know my brothers saw my dad and other men while in the locker room at the pool when we would go swimming when I was a kid. I think they understood that when they grew up things would look different, just as I knew that when I grew up my parts would look different too.

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  • glennh's Avatar
    Posted by glennh Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:07am PDT

    I believe jackie is right. i have 2 grown boys and we did not cover up

    until the wewe old enough to notice the difference. when they started to get modest so did we. Both are healthy adults.

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:31am PDT

    Mmmm. While I LOVE Swank, I have to disagree with her being nude in front of a child that isn't hers. I mean, I'm no prude, but I just don't think it's right being naked around a kiddo that isn't yours.....I wonder what the boys' mom thinks......

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Comments 1-10 of 62

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