My daughter has NEVER liked sleeping alone. Even as an infant
she preferred that I hold her than she lay in her crib. Now
as a 5 year old I can't get her to sleep in her bed for more
than 2 or 3 hours at night. She will go to sleep in her bed
(with appropriate fanfare of bedtime stories, songs, conversation,
snuggling, etc) and ONLY if I promise to work at my computer in the
room next to her bedroom. Then 3 hours later she is awake and
standing next to my bed. If I try to walk her back to her bed
she cries out of horrible fear of being alone. This
doesn't seem like the normal "monsters under my bed"
fear but a true anxiety of being in her room alone. These are all
the things we've tried and that have failed:
1.) We provided her with a "magic" quilt that would ward
off "bad things"
2.) I gave her a spray bottle with "monster repellent" -
she instantly identified it as water and that killed that idea
3.) We did a "monster search" before bed - did no
good
4.) We've put in 2 nightlights and left the hall light on in
hopes that it would make her feel safer - no luck
At this point I'm desperate for ideas and solutions.
Books we can read? Tricks we can use? Ways of appeasing her fears?
Anything. Anyone? Help. Please.
How Do I Stop The Night Time Visits?
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:26am PST
Report AbuseRegarding #2 and #3 on your list. Why don't you try explaining that there is no such thing as "monsters". By you giving her a "repellent" and checking under the bed...don't you think you are implying that there are monsters? No wonder she is scared
"2.) I gave her a spray bottle with "monster repellent" - she instantly identified it as water and that killed that idea
3.) We did a "monster search" before bed - did no good"
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:36am PST
Report AbusePut her back in her bed with a clear understanding of the fact that she will not be sleeping with you. It could be heartbreaking (truly only for you) but she will get the message. You are the parent and she only does it because you let her!
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:38am PST
Report AbuseMy Daughter is 8 an always slept with me since birth. but her father
died of cancer in 2005. so she and her 7 year old brother is closer to me than ever. they can't spend a night over someone's house with out each other. there a year apart
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:38am PST
Report Abusegive her lots of huggs and kisses and give her some mantra or verses from ur religion book .or gods name to recite cause i am a mother of three sons fifty yrs old nightlight in my room married for thirty yrs i still get afraid of dark and see forms in the light but i have taken my fears out by saying gods names and saying mantras..i was brought up by lots of TLC by my parents .i havent put any fear in my children they are normal and i am a normal humanbeing but its karmas that you do in the past and in ur current life.any time she gets fear tell her to remind herself guardian angel is with her to protect her.take care
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:01pm PST
Report AbuseTHANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE .IT MEANT ALOT.................!
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:56pm PST
Report Abusehi their i have a 12 year old son that has the same thing going on all his life even at times now its called sepration disorder some cchildren have it how old is your little girl...........
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:15pm PST
Report Abuseyou are going to have to explain to your daughter that she is a big girl now, and she must sleep in her own bed, Better yet i have a great, fantastic idea!! how about you, and your spouse go to her bed tonight!!! yes!!! you heard me!! pile all up in her bed, make it seem cramped, and tight... and i'm sure it will be, then tell her that things sure would be nice if everyone could sleep in their own bed, etc etc... see if this works, but tell her that she cant sleep in your bed anymore, if she says why, say its in the rule book- if she ask to see the book, tell her you dont have your copy... there you go..problem solved... i hope, blog me with a update.... Be Well-TR
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:18pm PST
Report Abuseps: also might want to purchase her a monitor so she feels like she knows you can hear whats going on in her room, make her feel secure. Be Well-TR
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:44pm PST
Report AbuseIt's time to lay down the law. Haven't you seen those super-nanny shows where they just keep taking the kids back to their own beds (even if they are crying) over and over again. You take her back to her own bed twenty times in one night - even if she cries - and she's going to realize that you aren't going to compromise! You are letting her have too much of a say. You have to stand tough for about a week and it will eventually cease. You have to be the boss.
The best parenting advice I got was someone who told me this, "One day your child is going to try to get the upper hand and you can either back down and let them have it or stand up to them and be a parent." I am not saying this to criticize you, but just to give you the courage to do what is best for your child. It is not good for her to have interrupted sleep and share a bed with her parents. She needs to get used to the idea of her own bed, b/c that is what is expected in our society. If you don't stop her now, she could do this until she is nine or ten and is shamed by her peers. I don't think you want that!
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Posted by Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:28pm PST
Report Abusesince that I have used all the tricks suggested,I am willing to bet she trying a power play and it will only get worse as she get older. I had to sound cruel but it time DO the check list for bed time and if she shows up at your bed get up and take her back to her bed and make it clear this is where she is to be. It may be wearing on both parties but I think it'll work. Good Luck
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