Parenting

Saturday, December 5, 2009

How far would you go to have a baby? (Yep, another bizarre surrogate story ...)

It used to be you had sex and you got pregnant—or you didn't. Now, with the help of medical research, there are all kinds of ways women can get pregnant and have babies. Sarah Jessica Parker is using a surrogate, and there's also IVF (in vitro fertilization), IUI (intrauterine insemination), sperm donors, egg donors, frozen ovaries, frozen eggs, and frozen sperm.

According to Motherlode, one woman, Marissa Evans, is hoping to use a surrogate to become a grandmother even though her son is dead. He was killed in an assault outside a bar, and his mother Marissa received a court order to retrieve his sperm posthumously because he had often spoken of having three sons whom he'd already named (Hunter, Tod, and Van).

"The possibilities are endless and that could be a problem, says Liza Mundy, author of Everything Conceivable: How the Science of Assisted Reproduction Is Changing Our World. 'When there is always something else to try,' she says, 'There is no permission to stop. That's the hardest part of the process for couples. For most of them, the permission to stop comes when they run out of money. And that can bring guilt and feelings of failure.'"

Do you think there is such a thing as going too far? Do you think people should consider adoption instead? How far would you go to have a baby if you had infertility issues?

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 21
  • me's Avatar
    Posted by me Fri May 1, 2009 2:46pm PDT

    I'm not so sure how i feel about the Grandmother example above butI think people should use the resources available to them. It used to be that when people had strokes they just died now we can help to prevent them ans help people recover afterwards. Does it always work no but we can try. My Husband and I are doing fertility treatments and i think it's fine I want my own child. After i've exhausted all possibilities we will move on to Adoption.

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  • Mysterious Gryphon's Avatar
    Posted by Mysterious Gryphon Fri May 1, 2009 6:06pm PDT

    I think it's disgusting what women will do to their bodies - and what men will allow or encourage their women to do to their bodies - in the pursuit of "their own" child.

    There are millions upon millions of children in the world who need a mom and/or dad to feed them, clothe them, and love them, and you want to deny them what you have to offer because they don't have your chin? What a selfish, arrogant, and cruel thing to do.

    Shame on people who choose fertility treatments over adoption.

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  • starfedra's Avatar
    Posted by starfedra Fri May 1, 2009 7:39pm PDT

    It is your most primitive inner instinct to have your own child, I don't think couples should be judged over trying to conceive in a no natural way, if they can afford it and they are willing to go thru the process well, God Bless them with a child, yes, there are a lot of children waiting to be adopted but you can't criticize parents that want to try all what is available first.

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  • Jables's Avatar
    Posted by Jables Sat May 2, 2009 1:32am PDT

    This extreme obsession that people have with having their own child is egotism in its purest form. There's nothing more egotistical and narcissistic than wanting a little copy of yourself. For these people children are nothing more than an ornament to themselves. There's no thought or consideration given to the number of orphan children in the world, let alone the fact that the world is over-populated enough as it is without your own little bundle of test-tube joy to add to the mix. But no, don't consider the depletion of natural resources. Your own selfish desire to carry on your genetic legacy is much more important.

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  • Nelly's Avatar
    Posted by Nelly Sat May 2, 2009 1:46am PDT

    Well i can't really judge coz i don't have an infertility problem, it's wonderful to hold one's "own child" so i can't blame those that go to extreem measures to feel that. Besides it's one's choice.

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  • Lena's Avatar
    Posted by Lena Sat May 2, 2009 9:00am PDT

    i think Marissa Evans may be going just a bit too far, i completely understand her wanting to be a grandmother but who will take care of the kid? idk if i can really say what i would do if i wasnt able to have children because im already a mother but there are many many orphans out there that need a home and i would definitely adopt, every child deserves a loving family.

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  • AmberFW's Avatar
    Posted by AmberFW Sat May 2, 2009 9:04am PDT

    I adopted two children from foster care when I was 25 years old. I felt the need to help "save the world" My children have been a wonderful asset to my life (and me to their's) I feel like they are "my children" With that being said, my husband and I are going to try to have another child soon, the old fashioned way. Why? Because adopting is a pain in the butt! It took me 5 years as a foster parent to be allowed to adopt the child I had. Any time the government gets involved it turns into a nightmare.

    You have to ask this question, do I want to be a parent or do I want to have a baby?

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  • ladybella04's Avatar
    Posted by ladybella04 Sat May 2, 2009 10:57am PDT

    I think that's taking it to an extreme. It's one thing to want to have fertility treatments with your hubby or same sex partner, but wanting to compensate for a loss is another. It's a tragedy that she lost her son, but that's not a good reason to have a child.

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  • fine...whatever...'s Avatar
    Posted by fine...whatever... Sat May 2, 2009 12:14pm PDT

    it sounds really strange for the lady to want grandchildren? i have 3 kids and i look foward to them having kids.. if i only had 1 child who was killed like that i doubt i would have done what she did but i understand why she did...i hope she finds a woman who wants children and they can come to some sort of agreement so grandma can be a grandma and the woman can be a mom. yes there are tons of chilren that need homes but the stories of parents comming back for custody, drama and red tape you have to go through makes it undesirable.. this is why rich people go to other countries.

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  • Katie B's Avatar
    Posted by Katie B Sat May 2, 2009 8:29pm PDT

    Personally I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't judge people that do... it's their choice... and though I find the example of the grandmother a bit strange (because.... well.... it just doesn't happen to my knowledge) I also find it endearing as well... just for the fact that she wants to complete her sons dream....

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