Parenting

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Lie About My Child's Age: He's So Advanced For 13 Months...



Seven minutes. That's how long it takes Playground Mommy to make her move.

"He's so cute," she says, touching my son's curls. "Still not walking?" His chubby fingers clutch mine as he inches towards the swings, wobbly as a newborn foal.

"Oh, you know. He's getting there," I say, as if everyone walks around with a twenty-five-pound toddler death-gripping their thumbs. As if on cue, Owen drops to his hands and knees and speeds off, slap-slap-slapping across the filthy playground flooring. 

"He's a big boy," Playground Mommy says. "How old?"

"Thirteen months."  

"Thirteen months?!" she says, eyes wide. "He's huge!"

That's true . . . except for the "thirteen months" part. My son is actually seventeen months old, but you'll never hear it from me, at least not at the playground.   

Yes, I know it's nuts. As a reasonably intelligent, Birkenstock wearing, "Every child develops differently" type of gal, I always assumed I'd be Captain Awesome when it came to raising my own kid. I pictured myself surrounded by a crew of happy, tow-headed tots, each secure in the knowledge that they were special Just The Way They Are. But all that flew out the window when faced with a gaggle of playground parents whose ten-month-olds were running laps around my older son. 

At first I didn't think too much of it. The babe had always been a little slow with the physical stuff, but I figured it was genetic. His dad and I veer toward the "readerly" side of the athletic spectrum, so it made sense that he'd rather thumb through Goodnight Moon than run a 5K. But then it started. The looks. The tsks. The well-meaning advice from people whose charges were walking — running! — at twelve or nine or even seven months.

Within weeks I'd heard it all: Buy him sturdier shoes. Buy him comfortable shoes. Make him walk everywhere. (He's only crawling because you're not putting your foot down.) Don't let him watch television. Tempt him with treats. One ancient grandmother-type recommended that I tie a scarf under his armpits and march him around the playground like a puppet. 

I've found myself considering it.

To read the rest of this article, go to babble.

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Comments 1-10 of 134
  • Angel's Avatar
    Posted by Angel Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:30am PDT

    My daughter walked late & I remember all the unsolicited advice... Now that she is allllll... over the place I miss the days of not walking!! lol.. And just cause they don't walk on time doesn't mean diddley-squat in my mind... My daughter is brilliant even though she didn't walk til she was 1 1/2....

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  • Movie Fan's Avatar
    Posted by Movie Fan Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:39am PDT

    Why don't people mind their own business? As new parents we've all experienced what you're going through. I have three children. The first one walked at 14 months, the second at 10 1/2 months (to keep up with his older brother) and our daughter walked at a year. Do these so called 'experts' not know that each child is different and developes at their own pace?!...My advice to you would be don't let these nosy bodies get to you. And, my second would be do not become one of them. Good luck, as you'll encounter many of them during your child rearing days.

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  • Coug Girl's Avatar
    Posted by Coug Girl Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:54am PDT

    As a mom, I know the comparisons. And I know it's annoying and unsolicited. My son didn't stand up on his own against furniture as soon as one of my friends kids did who was the same age, but guess what, he walked before she did. It's annoying, and it rubs you the wrong way, but you shouldn't need to lie about it. Come back at the parent with a clever retort, or tell them to shove it. No parent is perfect, no child is the same. Your baby will do what they want on their own terms. I once read that kids that take longer to walk are actually smarter in the long run. So while the mommy of the 9 month old runner watches their child barely pass high school (hypothetical), then you can watch your child graduate from medical school. Just keep your chin up, BUT DON'T LIE!!!

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  • Mo B's Avatar
    Posted by Mo B Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:18pm PDT

    I don't understand why you'd lie about your kids age because they aren't at the same stage of walking as other parents. In the long run isn't that sending the wrong message? What if he doesn't read at the same age as other kids will you still be lying about his age. I think it's ridiculous and very insecure to lie about his age just because he isn't walking. You should just be happy with the boy you have no matter how long it takes him to walk, and who knows he may just pass some other miles stones way before the early walkers. My daughter walked at 8 months old just like me and I hated every minutes of chasing after her all day long, wish she would of waited til at least 12 months.

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  • Not a one's Avatar
    Posted by Not a one Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:22pm PDT

    As you said; every child is different. I worked in childcare a few years back as the lead teacher an older infant room and I had 2 childred who walked late. One was just over 2 and had to be moved up to toddlers because of her age and a 19 month old that just all of the sudden decided she wanted to walk. Good luck!

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  • amee's Avatar
    Posted by amee Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:32pm PDT

    I don't think you should be worried much about youur child not walking, as for saying he is 13 months, I understand completely. nobody want to be gossiped about.....( "theres the mom who son is still not walking even though he is 17 months old, there must be something wrong with him or the parents") Not a lot of people realize the politics that go with playground mom, you know the one, the one whos son is always more advanced then yours. Don't take heart to any of it, I am sure your child is fine and when he does get moving you'll wish he would stop just like the rest of us.

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  • Erin's Avatar
    Posted by Erin Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:49pm PDT

    My daughter didn't start walking until she was sixteen months old. I'm sure your child's fine, and even though it's hard, don't worry so much about. Listen to your doctors. They're the ones that -actually- know what they're talking about.

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  • opiniononly's Avatar
    Posted by opiniononly Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:51pm PDT

    It is unfortunate that you are insecure about your kid's ability to walk/not walk to the point that you have to lie to complete strangers about his age. You are giving these folks way too much power and control over your life.

    There is no excuse for bad manners, but nothing says you have to acknowledge their rudeness...much less compound it by lying about something that is neither their business, nor requires a response of any type from you.

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  • Tink's Avatar
    Posted by Tink Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:11pm PDT

    Have you and his doctor discussed his motor skills.While kids do develop at their own pase you don't seem satified with where he is.

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  • bookluva's Avatar
    Posted by bookluva Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:19pm PDT

    I walked at seven months... my friend was almost two.... guess who is more cordinated/ athletic/ whatever? Not me, that's for sure. I can't even walk up the school stairs without tripping, and she got letters in three sports as a freshman.... Don't worry!

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