I’ve Turned My Kids Into Addicts.

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  Posted by None Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:59am PDT

  Oh God, you are already doing the typical wanna be friends than parents, blaming yourself, Kids are kids, you ARE the parent, whether it's your fault or not, too bad, he has to listen and get off that cyber screen, demand respect, a little fear never hurt anyone, and know that the cyber world is used for more bad than good, saving him from pedophiles and other things best thing, give him some video games instead or how about do some real stuff like actually going outside and playing with them or spending time with them, never let kids use the internet alone, idc how old they are.

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  Posted by Colleen Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:00am PDT

  Well here's the sitch, yes they are addicted. Mine too. Sad but true. Theres nothing constructive about beating yourself up over it. What I can suggest is get them active as much as possible - Not watching TV or playing igames but our and about - have them play "wash the car" or "clean the house" until all work is done them get them interested in board games or reading books. Next time they throw a fit for not having enough time to play just say, Ok fair enough now none of the kids get the i-anything for a week. You will notice two things 1) less tantrums and eventually the tv is turned off and kids are reading.

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  Posted by E. Boost Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:43am PDT

  First of all, I admire that you posted this. Most parents usually blame the kids and never try to consider why the kids act that way in the first place. However, I agree that you should not be too hard on yourself. I'm 19 and as an only child, my parents spoiled me a lot when it came to computer time, TV time, obviously as long as I kept good grades it wasn't a problem for me to spend hours on stuff. However, now I'm totally hooked on my laptop and on my video games (Nintendo DS Lite, Wii, Online/PC games) you name it, I have it and recently I have Blackberry, which also has internet access/games/facebook to it's like heaven to me. My parents are NOW constantly telling me to get off my laptop/Twitter and do something productive, like paint, which I haven't done in a while. Or play my guitar/other instruments. It's VERY addicting. VERY addicting. But do I blame my parents? No. I blame myself for getting so hooked on this. I don't blame my parents for introducing me to phones, because my phone was meant to be a safety took, (to text and call my parents in case an emergency happened) but to me, it turned into a texting/online surfing tool that made me spend more time on it. So in many cases like this, it's not really what parents introduce us to, it's more of what we use it for. I got hooked on the internet at an early age. My parents skipped me a grade and got me into a gifted program 7th-8th grade. My dad got me a computer in my room so I can study and he got me encyclopedia CD's. However, I used to it to play games and go on websites. Yet another example.

  So in conclusion to my long and pointless answer, I think it's good that you recognize where you might have gone wrong, but indeed these things are really addictive and it's not always the parent's fault. Trust me, if you give a child a boring game on his DS, he will not play it, it will not interest him (as far as I'm concerned). If you really want to regain time with your children, then set up fun activities for them. My parents still do movie night, and sometimes we cook together. Stuff like that gets me off the computer, because no matter how hooked I am, I still know how important is it to spend time with my mom and dad, especially now that I'm older- I appreciate them so much more. Do fun activities, and explain to your kids that video games and TV/movies will not go away, they stick around for a long time, however, true human interaction and family time does not happent aht often, and it is something we need to take advantage of.

  PS: I wish my parents were like this with my boyfriend! He is hooked on video games so much i often have to get him out of the house on weekends. However, I blame the way he grew up. It wasn't so much that his parents introduced him to video games at age 5, but the fact that they never set limitations for him and explained him what priorities are, however I'm there to fix that now ;) hahaha.

  Good luck to you and your children. You sound like a wonderful mother to me.

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  Posted by Kristy Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:26pm PDT

  Leenboost,

  Thank you for your comment! You are a very insightful, mature 19-year old and I truly value your perspective. For most parents, we are constantly trying to guess what tweens/teens lives must be like but if we are honest with ourselves, we have no clue. Your world is so much different from ours and the ways we need to parent to support and protect our children in today's world changes and becomes more complicated every single day. My 17-year old told me that she loves staying connected and that her Blackberry/Facebook/computer lets her have connections with so many more people all at once...and I get that. I believe that as a parent, I will be much more effective if I limit the technology time rather than try to turn off or ban it. We need to give our kids tools that they can use to help themselves. "Just Say No" is a cop-out in my book. Thanks for the support in letting me know I'm on the right track! Kristy

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  Posted by Robyn Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:25pm PDT

  when children watch more then 1 hour a day of anything on a screen there brian synapses stop connecting and begin to die, y? because their is no real interaction

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