Parenting

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

If this was true, then my husband and I would NEVER have married...

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  • by Missy, on Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:22am PDT

My oldest daughter is from a previous marriage. Back in the year 2000, I left him for various reasons. One being that he was abusive. At the time she was around five months old. I moved in with my friend's sister. Yes, this friend was a man. Later, that man became my husband in 2002.

Speaking from experience due to being married to my current husband now for almost seven years, being together almost ten years I can say this...

YES!! It very possible for a man to love his step-children as if they are his own. How do I know?

Because I see the proof in the pudding EVERY single day. My husband LOVES my eldest from a previous marriage JUST AS MUCH as he loves OUR children that we made together.

If he had his way, he would adopt her in a heartbeat. But legally at this time, it is beyond impossible.

Sure we have some areas of parenting OUR children that are different. But what couple/sets of parents don't? You won't always be on the same page with every little detail in the parenting department.

If step-parents don't love or care about the other person's child(ren) because they lack that "bond" or biological tie, then you may as well say the exact same thing about those who ADOPT their child(ren).

After all, they have no "experience" in what it means to love a child unconditionally.

What do blood ties and DNA really have to do with loving and raising a child? In my eyes, there is no need to be a "carbon copy" of the parents to have a parent/child bond. If that was the case, then my husband would love, care for and appreciate his two biological children and not even give my daughter from the second marriage a second thought.                                                                                                                    

There are more Mixed Families (step/adopted/both) that are MUCH more stable and solid than many fully-biologically-tied ones out there. Believe me, I have lived through it and have seen it time and time again around me within my circle of friends and within my family.

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