Starting school can be hard ... for moms.
-Julie Ryan Evans, BettyConfidential.com
My son started kindergarten last week, and it's been hard, really hard. Not for him - he's doing great - but for ME.
It's not the oh-no-he's-growing up emotional stuff that's left me reeling. After three years of preschool, I didn't even come close to shedding a tear this time - I almost even forgot to take a picture (those of you who have known me long are gasping in disbelief I know!)
What's been so difficult this time is navigating the maze of rules and guidelines and things I'm supposed to do that I'm forever forgetting or messing up or living in fear of doing so.
Things are much more complicated than preschool.
The first day - the very first day - I got a call saying if I didn't deliver my son's vaccination forms (on specific colors of paper) into the school ASAP he wouldn't be able to come back the next day. Can you imagine after all the buildup and hype we'd done about kindergarten telling him he couldn't go back because mommy screwed up?
It's a long story I won't bore you with about why they didn't have them, but I had to get them, and quickly. I somehow convinced our doctor - at the busiest time of year - to see us that evening. The only catch was she couldn't see us until 6:40 p.m., and since she practices in two offices, she would be in the far one-almost an hour away. My 7-month-old goes to bed at 6 p.m. every night, my husband was out of town, and there was a shot involved, so I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but off we went and acquired the necessary physical and documentation. One near miss avoided.
Since then, I live in fear of not packing and LABELING his snack, or not getting fingerprinted in time for the volunteer activities I signed up for, or not sending treats for the guinea pig when it's his turn to be the zookeeper. I have to remember to complete and send back a million forms and put money in his lunch account, lest he starve.
Then there's the whole pick up and drop off maze to maneuver, which I just can't seem to grasp. There are car lines everywhere, people shouting on electronic megaphones, and I have no idea where to go, even though I've consulted every map and handout they've provided. Yesterday I got scolded (nicely scolded, but still scolded) for getting out of my car.
And here's a disaster just waiting to happen - once a week, on Wednesdays, the children are dismissed an hour early. These days I find it hard to remember to brush my hair on a daily basis, so it's really just a matter of time before I get a call one Wednesday afternoon from the school with my sobbing son in the background thinking I've abandoned him.
To add even more stress, it's a private school, which means uniforms. Whoever thought mandating white, yes WHITE shirts, for little boys was a good idea? I'm quite sure they didn't have a 6-year-old boy. Not to mention that since we were late in the game to the uniform store, there were only two white shirts left for his school - the rest I had to order and have shipped. They, of course, still haven't arrived, which means I have to wash them both every other night. One already has a huge stain on it that I can't seem to get out no matter what I do.
Shirts must be tucked in (and NOT be stained!); shoes have to be ALL white or ALL black. In my last-minute haste I could only find some Lacoste ones (with Velcro), so I'm just waiting for a call that the little green alligator on them is violating the dress code.
With their shoes they have to wear "crew" socks - I didn't even know what that meant but apparently they're the kind you have to fold down. Why you can't just wear the little ones that go to your ankles in the first place I don't know, and I am not a fan of these crew socks because no matter what I do, part of them appears inside out.
I am having regular flashbacks to my days of protesting and violating (and spending time in detention) the school dress code when I was young. I remember how I challenged the rules and thought the processes and procedures were ridiculous (and said so). But now as a parent, I've lost some of that indignation; I have much more respect for/fear of "authority" and the rules, even though I'm a grown up now. I guess I just don't want to start my son's school career off with the stigma of having a slacker mom.
But for all my anxiety, we actually made it through the week just fine. Nolan loves school, and none of my foibles has seemed to faze him. I know the school knows this is a year of learning for parents just as much, if not more than for the children, and as long as we're all doing our best, then we'll be OK.
So I'm buying bleach in bulk and investing in a really big calendar and bulletin board system to keep me organized. I know that before long it will all be old hat (those aren't allowed either by the way) ... but if you happen to talk to me on a Wednesday, you still may want to remind me about the early dismissal.
Read Julie's last blog: Should Circumcision Be Mandatory?
