Parenting

Thursday, December 3, 2009

In politics, are kids truly "off limits"?

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Photo Credit: Associated Press

On Monday, when Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin confirmed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant, leaders of both political parties agreed that the situation was not for political consumption, with Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama saying outright that the children and families of the candidates are “off limits.”

Makes sense. The kids didn’t choose to be in the public spotlight -- their parents did. Their actions shouldn’t reflect on their parents’ qualifications or abilities. As many, many people have pointed out: Life happens. You deal with it.

That said, I think that if Bristol Palin and her pregnancy are “a private family matter” and off limits, 19-year-old Track and his decision to join the Army should be, too. Not to mention baby Trig and his special needs.

You can't insist on excluding from debate the potential impact of a child who’s done something socially unacceptable if you’re willing to use another child’s “good” behavior or medical disability to bolster a candidate's political image. If one kid is off limits, then all of the kids should be off limits.

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Let's set aside for a moment the fact that Palin was the one who announced Bristol's pregnancy to the national media to begin with. (Is a candidate's child still off limits if the candidate is the one who's disclosing the sensitive information about the child?) Let's ignore the "happy family" publicity photos and all of the politicians who parade their children and grandchildren in front of the television cameras ("Hi, Daddy!"). Where, exactly, do you draw the line when declaring family and children "off limits" in politics?

Now, I’m a working mother of five myself. My older kids aren’t out on their own yet (I’m assuming that Bristol and her new family aren’t going to be moving with the Palins to Massachusetts Avenue), though they’re not with us year-round, either. My younger kids aren’t tiny infants anymore, as Sarah Palin's youngest is, and the special needs we deal with have to do with Autism, not Downs Syndrome. But, let me tell you, my kids affect my life daily in one way or another. Juggling work and family is hard enough without the intense public scrutiny that comes with running for office in general, let alone that of second in command of a global superpower during a time of war.

So, if we’re not to question how Bristol's pregnancy affects Sarah Palin’s stance on abstinence-only education or discuss how Palin will be able to be there for her daughter while also presiding over the Senate as our nation's VP, it’s only fair that people also stop holding up Track’s Army service as an example of Palin’s patriotism. And, while we're at it, her campaign should stop using baby Trig to help her appeal to social conservatives, stop touting his very existence as testament to his mother’s morals and values.

Yes, the kids should be off limits. Everyone's kids should be, no matter what they have (or haven't) done. But you can't evaluate a candidate -- male or female -- without considering the impact their children’s lives have on their own. To truly do that, you’d have to look at this admirable working mother and take her parenthood out of the political equation. And I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

Lylah M. Alphonse is a full-time editor, a freelance writer, and mom and step mom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day on Work It, Mom!, and blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 13
  • jules's Avatar
    Posted by jules Fri Sep 5, 2008 9:10am PDT

    Thank you!!! Every politician ever has trotted out their looks-like-a-perfect family. You have to take the good with the bad. I think there is a fine line between causing stress for Bristol (having her in stupid tabloids looking like a tramp and having articles on this website comparing her to Jamie Lynn Spears is really distasteful) and truly deliberating what it means that an anti-choicer has a pregnant teenage daughter, which does matter. Because while I don't agree with her abstinence-only education policy, etc. she is being consistent with helping her daughter cope with a mistake. And yes, people are asking questions of her that wouldn't be asked of a man. You don't have people doubting Obama's ability to govern because he has a family. Palin obviously has a very helpful husband -- parenting is not only a mother's role, y'know.

    That being said, can all you working moms PLEASE stop complaining about how damn hard it is. If Sarah Palin is strong enough to do it, LET HER. Don't insinuate that just because it's hard for you it must be impossible for Mrs. Palin to be successful at it. If children are such a burden on you, stop having them. Don't use it as a forum for sympathy when talking about someone else's situation.

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  • Rose's Avatar
    Posted by Rose Fri Sep 5, 2008 9:49am PDT

    I may not support Palin on a political level. But as A working wife and mother, I sure as hell do. The problem with the superwomen of the world, is that you can only keep up the pace for so long before you have a burn out. And its up to the guy's in our lives(if there is one) to pull us back together by taking up the slack.If Palin's husband is such a man then she might be ok. If not later on down the road it could be a real problem.

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  • JeanneMommy's Avatar
    Posted by JeanneMommy Fri Sep 5, 2008 10:21am PDT

    The children are off limits from public ridicule, not attention. Knowing things about her & her children are one thing, attacking the daughter directly is another thing. We know about her son going off to war, we know about her baby, BUT wrong and negative opinions flying about her daughter. The media isn't broadcasting negativity about her son & baby. (for example) I don't hear the media reporting things like Obama's daughter's are failing math because he is running for president.

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  • zanamu's Avatar
    Posted by zanamu Fri Sep 5, 2008 7:10pm PDT

    Who made the choice to run as a "hockey mom"? Whatever that is. I mean, I'm a mom, but we don't do hockey here, and I don't wear lipstick unless I'm wearing nylons, which doesn't happen at children's athletic activities. What a concept! Anyway, last I checked, calling someone a "mom" suggests children out there somewhere.

    She could run as a "governor" but that might mean she would have to play on a level playing field, and talk to the media instead of hiding behind scripts (and let's not forget her broadcast background, and how every one I know could read a speech better than John McCain.) Maybe a "mom" gets a free pass. After all Hillary Clinton tried to run on her qualifications, (which she HAD) and where did that her?

    If she was surpised to learn of her daughter's pregnancy, then she gets a one day pass for cluelessness, but then the McCain-Palin campaign left a 17-year-old hanging to lead the national media for 2 days. What a thing to do to your own child, "hockey mom" or not!

    I want to know what McCain knew, and when he knew it, because if he knew from the start, it sure took a long time to put out real information. One would thing McCain's staff would have had that kind of theing covered. We all appreciate the semblance of competence, if the 'vetting' was actually done, as was claimed.

    It's not like Senator McCain's own family hasn't been targeted (by George W Bush), and it's not like Sen McCain never picked on anyone else's children. ("Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.") And Chelsea Clinton was barely in high school at the time.

    So this whole pile of garbage is somewhat disingenuous -ok, a LOT disingenuous. Sarah Palin should put on her big girl panties if she wants to play, particularly considering her running mate, and her apparently self-selected label as a "hockey mom."

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  • Margaret's Avatar
    Posted by Margaret Sat Sep 6, 2008 2:44pm PDT

    What makes Palin so special from the other candidates? It's always been on the forefront about politician's families. Look at the Kennedys, and that began in the 60s. If you are in the spotlight your life is an open book. If you find it offensive, don't read about them.

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Sun Sep 7, 2008 9:47pm PDT

    True, a politician's children should not be in the spotlight, however some of what they do can sometimes reflect very poorly on their parent. For instance, it's not exactly Bristol's pregnancy that worries me per sae, but the fact that her mother supports abstinence-only sex ed. Perhaps if Bristol had the proper knowledge she'd never have gotten pregnant.

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Sun Sep 7, 2008 9:47pm PDT

    Oh yes, and I forgot to say...if you want them out of the spotlight, keep them off the stage!

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  • Lylah M. Alphonse's Avatar
    Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse Mon Sep 8, 2008 9:14am PDT

    The comments I've gotten on this post here at at The 36-Hour Day have been so interesting and insightful -- thank you! There's a great post over at Work It, Mom! today questioning why working dad's don't get hit by these types of parenting drive-bys (here's the link: http://workitmom.com/bloggers/workitdad/2008/09/08/why-this-working-dad-is-offended/) and it got me thinking...

    One of the reasons I think that Obama (and, for that matter, McCain and Biden) aren’t being criticized for their parenting is that none of them are campaigning as “just your average hockey dad” or a “working dad” or any other kind of dad. I think it’s impossible to avoid the parenting attacks if your market strategy is your motherhood.

    What do you think?

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  • 2fast4U's Avatar
    Posted by 2fast4U Mon Sep 8, 2008 10:52am PDT

    McCain, Obama, and Biden are not going to be criticized for thier parenting because they're men. I'm not saying they're not parents but women and men are judged on completely different standards. I think it's wrong but I also see why it's done. A mothers love is something that a father cannot provide. Every child needs their mother. And I think that Palin is doing an excellent job on both ends of the spectrum. There's a reason McCain picked her and I'm pretty sure its not for her looks. He does want to be elected president so I would assume he had other motives. None-the-less, Palin is a great candidate and something that I feel, as a woman, can truly look up to!

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  • Terri's Avatar
    Posted by Terri Mon Sep 8, 2008 11:42am PDT

    I agree there children should stay out of the spotlight. They are not the ones in the light!

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Comments 1-10 of 13

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