Parenting

Monday, December 7, 2009

In politics, are kids truly "off limits"?

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Photo Credit: Associated Press

On Monday, when Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin confirmed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant, leaders of both political parties agreed that the situation was not for political consumption, with Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama saying outright that the children and families of the candidates are “off limits.”

Makes sense. The kids didn’t choose to be in the public spotlight -- their parents did. Their actions shouldn’t reflect on their parents’ qualifications or abilities. As many, many people have pointed out: Life happens. You deal with it.

That said, I think that if Bristol Palin and her pregnancy are “a private family matter” and off limits, 19-year-old Track and his decision to join the Army should be, too. Not to mention baby Trig and his special needs.

You can't insist on excluding from debate the potential impact of a child who’s done something socially unacceptable if you’re willing to use another child’s “good” behavior or medical disability to bolster a candidate's political image. If one kid is off limits, then all of the kids should be off limits.

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Let's set aside for a moment the fact that Palin was the one who announced Bristol's pregnancy to the national media to begin with. (Is a candidate's child still off limits if the candidate is the one who's disclosing the sensitive information about the child?) Let's ignore the "happy family" publicity photos and all of the politicians who parade their children and grandchildren in front of the television cameras ("Hi, Daddy!"). Where, exactly, do you draw the line when declaring family and children "off limits" in politics?

Now, I’m a working mother of five myself. My older kids aren’t out on their own yet (I’m assuming that Bristol and her new family aren’t going to be moving with the Palins to Massachusetts Avenue), though they’re not with us year-round, either. My younger kids aren’t tiny infants anymore, as Sarah Palin's youngest is, and the special needs we deal with have to do with Autism, not Downs Syndrome. But, let me tell you, my kids affect my life daily in one way or another. Juggling work and family is hard enough without the intense public scrutiny that comes with running for office in general, let alone that of second in command of a global superpower during a time of war.

So, if we’re not to question how Bristol's pregnancy affects Sarah Palin’s stance on abstinence-only education or discuss how Palin will be able to be there for her daughter while also presiding over the Senate as our nation's VP, it’s only fair that people also stop holding up Track’s Army service as an example of Palin’s patriotism. And, while we're at it, her campaign should stop using baby Trig to help her appeal to social conservatives, stop touting his very existence as testament to his mother’s morals and values.

Yes, the kids should be off limits. Everyone's kids should be, no matter what they have (or haven't) done. But you can't evaluate a candidate -- male or female -- without considering the impact their children’s lives have on their own. To truly do that, you’d have to look at this admirable working mother and take her parenthood out of the political equation. And I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.

Lylah M. Alphonse is a full-time editor, a freelance writer, and mom and step mom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day on Work It, Mom!, and blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat.

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Comments 11-13 of 13
  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Mon Sep 8, 2008 1:40pm PDT

    Every candidate has brought out the kids at one point or another for a photo op. Then the kids are kept out of th spotlight and privacy is maintained. But Sarah Palin brings up her kids constantly as an example of how she's "just like one of you" in an effort to conect with the average american. If she's going to parade her kids and what the choices they've made in life in the media, then she's got to learn to take the good with the bad.

    Personally, I would prefer if she stopped talking about her "hockey mom" status, and started talking about the actual issues like the economy, the war, education and the environment and where she stands on them. I'm not voting in November to elect a member of the PTA, I'm voting to elect a president and Vice President of the United States.

    I want to know how she plan to do the JOB that she want us to give her should she and McCain win the election in November.

    I don't care how she choses to parent her 5 kids, that's HER business. I wouldn't presume to voice an opinion on how she and her husband make choices for their family, just as I would hope she wouldn't presume to tell me how I should care for my family. We as parents are all just trying to do the best that we can with what we have for our families.

    So keep your kids out of the spotlight, talk about the real issues at hand and let your kids have as normal a childhood as they can in the crazy circumstances that you've and your family have suddenly found yourselves in, Sarah.

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  • zanamu's Avatar
    Posted by zanamu Mon Sep 8, 2008 5:03pm PDT

    2fast4U: and a father's love is something a mother cannot provide. Every child needs their father. If we are going there, then that suggests every woman should stay at home with her kids.

    No one has questioned her ability to work and raise children. Are you suggesting that she should give up her ambitions? And SHOULD men and women be judged differently? Because I think they should be treated the same, which is why running on ISSUES as the governor she is, would be so much better than running as a hockey mom.

    I don't want someone qualified to drive in my carpool - I want someone up to running the country.

    And by the way, Joe Biden was a single dad for 5 years, and Joh McCain was one for a month.

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  • Shadow's Avatar
    Posted by Shadow Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:51pm PDT

    palin wont speak to the public, why would i want a stranger for a possible president? ive had difficulty trying to figure out what SHE wants, all i ever find is someone elses speculation on her and her values. if she cant talk to us now, why would she if she was president?

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