Parenting

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Infant Hair Protector Offensive To Bald People

by Brett Singer

Once again, a real-life press release sounds like something out of The Onion.

Stay-at-home Mom Invents "Infant Hair Protector" to Prevent Infant Baldness

Yeah. That's what it says. I couldn't make this stuff up.

The product is the Baby Walton. $24.99 plus shipping and handling, available in blue, cream and pink.

Unintentionally funny is the "About" page:

What causes infant baldness?
During the early stages of life, infants spend a considerable amount of time sleeping. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends placing infants on their back to minimize the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Unfortunately, this practice frequently causes a bald spot to appear on the back of an infant's head, especially if an infant's hair and scalp are dry.

The inconvenience! Unsightly baldness caused by those killjoys at the AAP telling us how to prevent SIDS!

The site also makes that ever-suspicious promise to help your little one "regrow" their hair; I think that's because it isn't rubbing off anymore, not because the Walton has Rogaine in it. Even so, it still sounds cheesy.Why not just call it "Hair Club For Babies"?

There's more. Oh, there's more. Read the rest here. Is that kid the Hair Club President, or also a client?

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Syndication:

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