Parenting

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Is a sperm donor really a dad?

photo by: Stock Photo

photo by: Stock Photo

Recently, a New Mexico appeals court ruled in favor of making a sperm donor financially responsible for the well-being of his two offspring.  The donor was a friend of a couple who willingly provided a donation of his sperm to help conceive a child, and then later another one to the same couple.  He became increasingly involved in the children’s lives and essentially developed an ongoing visitation schedule where the children were at his place for weekends.  According to the mother, due to this close relationship he began making demands regarding where the children reside and other personal inquiries. 


Clearly this is not the typical sperm donor relationship.  However, as a result of the overzealous involvement of the donor the children viewed and accepted this man as their father.  The mother claimed he was not simply just a sperm donor; he was the kid’s father, and she in turn asked for child support.  After an eight year court battle the appeals court granted her request. GMA has more on the story.


Although this situation is somewhat unique, the ruling will definitely have an impact on sperm donor’s involvement with their offspring in the future. 

·         Do you agree with the court ruling?

·         Should sperm donors have to pay child support if they are involved in the lives of their offspring?

·         Was the mother justified in asking for financial support for her children?

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 44
  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Mon Aug 4, 2008 2:58pm PDT

    If the sperm donor is establishing himself as the biological father to these children, yes, he should pay. Most donors sign a multitude of paperwork that protect the donor, the children, and the parents. This guy apparently wanted chldren and wanted to be known as their father and wanted a say so in their lives. Why should he have these liberties if he is not financially accountable?

    Good call by the courts.

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  • kat's Avatar
    Posted by kat Mon Aug 4, 2008 9:51pm PDT

    i agree with springtime. this is not the typical donor relationship so the court made a good call. the donor apparently wanted the perks but not the wife/sig other and financial responsibilities that go with having children. he could just send them back to their "parents" when he got tired or had something he wanted to do that didn't include the kids-built in nanny/babysitters!

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  • Oh.........soDefiant's Avatar
    Posted by Oh.........soDefiant Mon Aug 4, 2008 10:16pm PDT

    as in terms of biological contribution YES! in terms of actually raising and rearing the child NO! (unless you want the donor in the childs life) but that's up to you. peace, the DEFIANT 1.

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  • Morning S's Avatar
    Posted by Morning S Tue Aug 5, 2008 8:55am PDT

    hi,

    i'm producing a story on a national morning tv show about sperm donation/child support-- do you feel that sperm donors SHOULD pay child support? please write me back immediately at morning.show@yahoo.com to tell your story - we will provide a free trip to nyc to appear on our show. thanks!

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  • JeanneMommy's Avatar
    Posted by JeanneMommy Tue Aug 5, 2008 9:44am PDT

    The laws need to distinguish between biological and parental rights. Right now they don't do a good job. For example, the courts side with the biological mother in adoption suits. There is a CLEAR difference between biology and parental rights. This ruling will just cause more problems then it solves. The women should do without child support. I sure as heck wouldn't want the sperm donor wanting to be my child’s father, if I had gotten a donation because my husband was sterile.

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  • paula's Avatar
    Posted by paula Wed Aug 6, 2008 7:45am PDT

    any man can donate sperm.It takes a REAL man to be a father :)

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  • Andygirl's Avatar
    Posted by Andygirl Wed Aug 6, 2008 8:33am PDT

    as an adopted person, I can say with one hundred percent certainty that a sperm donor or anyone who does not participate in the raising of a child is not a dad or a parent. this case is obviously a little unique, but I for one am sick of the constant paternity tests and claim to parentage by blood relation, of blood relatives who yank 3 year olds from adoptive parents arms on the claims of DNA.

    blood does not a family make!

    a family is formed by close bonds and time and effort and love. the parents are the ones who do the job. simple as that.

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  • mona's Avatar
    Posted by mona Wed Aug 6, 2008 10:16am PDT

    if the sperm came out of the male he and went into the female he is the father why woulndnt he be its his sperm that got her pregnant

    even if the father isnt there for the child he is the father if its his sperm that got her pregnant than he is the father of that child no one else got her pregnant but him. think about it who else got her pregnant you can only get pregnant by one man no matter if he is there or not

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  • mona's Avatar
    Posted by mona Wed Aug 6, 2008 10:18am PDT

    so what would you say about the mother since were talking about fathers not being there what if the mother gave her baby up for adoption would she still be the mother YES SHE IS BECAUSE SHE HAD THE BABY NO ONE ELSE DID

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  • c's Avatar
    Posted by c Wed Aug 6, 2008 10:19am PDT

    How about - Is a "Dad" really a "Dad"? A sperm donor is what my daughter calls her dad.

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Comments 1-10 of 44

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