Is divorce easier when your kid is still a baby?

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  Posted by KathyH Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:58am PDT

  I think that it is probably easier on the child at a younger age. I am recently divorced after a 25 year marriage (totally blind-sided) and I have two kids in their 20's. They not only have to deal with the loss of the family unit, but with the why (infidelity). Now they have to get used to making dates with their Dad, etc. It always hard.

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  Posted by Smiley79 Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:27am PDT

  I divorced my now ex when my daughter was 3. I think it has been a little easier than if I had waited until she was older. She is now 6 and going to her daddy's on Saturday nights is something she looks forward to. Divorce is hard no matter when it happens. Shw asks why I have a boyfriend when she has a real daddy? Why she now has step siblings. (from her dads new relationship)Hard questions to answer, I have tried to make sure she feels loved and wanted. Really as parents that's all we can do

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  Posted by Ahleah G Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:03am PDT

  I think divorce is easiest on the child if they are still an infant or toddler - they won't notice the change as much, growing up with parents that aren't together will be more normal to them. I also think that having grown children makes it easier. My parents divorced when I was in college and my brother in high school. It was much harder on him because he was caught in the middle, had to hear the fighting, had to deal with a parent moving out, and had to decide where he wanted to live. I was old enough to understand the situation and since I didn't live at home it was a lot less upheaval for me.

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  Posted by Mo B Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:26am PDT

  I left my ex when my daughter was 2, I did that so she would have no memory of it. It was not working and never would. She only knows that we ever lived together because she saw our weddig pictures. She is happy, has only known having two houses with her parents appart. I abosolutely think it's easier on the child.

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  Posted by MistressMinx Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:41am PDT

  My daughter was 6 when I left my ex. I explained what I could age appropriately. She actually made the comment a few months after we left that at least she no longer had to hear us argue. Each family is different, and each child is different. But, under no circumstances do I agree with "staying for the sake of the children." They know, even if they don't say anything, that the parents' aren't happy.

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  Posted by G Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:17pm PDT

  I think it is easier when they are smaller. My son was two and my daughter was an infant. They really were'nt aware of what was happening and they adjusted to visitation easily.

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  Posted by Mandi B Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:56pm PDT

  My parents got divorced when I was little. So, I can't really miss what I was never familiar with.

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  Posted by jblack Thu Jul 16, 2009 7:27pm PDT

  I left with a 10 month old and a 3 year old. I think in the long run it was easier for the kids, but there was some acting out in the grade school years. Their dad had remarried and had another son. I think it was particularly difficult for my son because my children were treated differently than the child that lived with their dad because of stepmom. I didn't want my children to grow up in such a difficult abusive situation. Now that they are adults I think they realize that I made the right decision despite how difficult it was many of those years.

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  Posted by Ms. Priss Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:28pm PDT

  hard to miss what u can't remember!

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  Posted by BlueWaterBaby Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:59am PDT

  Yep, totally easier. We'd been together for nearly 5 years and were married for one. My son was 6 mos old when we split and ofcourse he had no memory of any of it. He hasn't known life to be any different than us being apart. Now that he's 4 years old though, he does ask on occasion why we don't live together. I just kinda tell him the basic truth, that we couldn't live together because we were very different and it was best if we just stayed friends in different houses. He'll understand when he's older, but I do believe splitting at his early age was the thing to do.

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