Is divorce easier when your kid is still a baby?

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  Posted by Nerissa Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:26am PDT

  hard to say

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  Posted by TraciM Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:44am PDT

  i know from experience that divorce is definitely easier when the child is still a baby. i had never known what it was like living in a home with a mum and dad therefore i didn't know what i was missing out on. however when my dad got married again and i moved in with him and my step-dad it took some time getting used to having two parents in the home.

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  Posted by AmberB Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:56am PDT

  My husband and I want a divorce we have a 4 year old little and a 10 month old little girl and i just feel like I cant go on but I know I have to.

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  Posted by Tavern On The Green Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:58am PDT

  You bet it is. When I decided to divorce my husband, a choice I did not relish as I believe in the union of marriage and the vows taken; my son was only 3 1/2 years old. He had no idea what was going on, but I noticed a change within him in the first two weeks of the separation. I was less stressed and he emulated that same feeling. Our break was mutual, so we were able to sit down a reasonably figure out visitation, etc.

  It's been five years now and all of our friends marvel at how well we handled everything. My son is bestfriends with his Dad and we are now both in serious relationships. With so many stero types out there for African Americans, I am happy to say that there are many who are responsible divorced parents.

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  Posted by Heidi Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:50am PDT

  I separated from my ex-husband when our son was about a year and a half. He remained with me for about a year while his father got his act together. In that time I would take our son to visit him but that was about it. My ex finally started getting it together, eventually went back to an ex-girlfriend that has two daughters.

  My ex and I formed a new kind of relationship, a friendship if you will. We all now get along very well. We all go on family vacations together, I spend the night occasionally and occasionally I take all the kids to my place for the weekend. I consider her kids in a way like my step-daughters.

  My point in all this is my son is very well adjusted and appreciates that he can spend time with all of us. If it's possible, I highly recommend getting over the past and see how you and your ex can build a new kind of relationship for the children's sake. And yes I think it's easier when they are younger.

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  Posted by ALLISON Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:43am PDT

  I think it is absolutely easier when a child is younger. My parents split when I was 6 months old, and while it hasn't been easy, at least I didn't have to go through the difficult transition of my dad not being around. I was oblivious, as my daughter was when her dad and I split up when she was a year old. Sad how history repeats itself. She has never known us together.

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  Posted by watsonbodygirl Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:57pm PDT

  My ex-husband and I got divorced when our daughter what 8 mo old. We should have never gotten married in the first place, but when I got pregnant it seemed like the right thing to do. I think it has made everything so much easier because she doesn't remember the fighting or when her dad even lived with us. This is just how life has always been.

  My current husband's children were 7 and 4 when he got divorced and i know it was very difficult for them to watch their father leave.

  I know there is now good divorce, but early on with children seems to be the easiest.

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  Posted by who me? Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:55pm PDT

  It has to be easier on them when they are smaller.. I was married for 19 years and only stayed because I thought it would be easier on my kids in the long run. Boy was I wrong! Now they think I shouldn't date.. they hate me for leaving their father and say I should get back with their dad. It has been really rough on both of them. Had I known then what I know now I would have done it many many years ago.

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  Posted by DianaG Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:21pm PDT

  WHATEVER HAPPEN TO FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE?

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  Posted by Kelly Fri Jul 17, 2009 4:30pm PDT

  Definitely easier when you're a baby. My parents divorced when I was only a year old. I don't remember a thing. And it was nice to grow up having both my parents in my life, but there were no arguing, no fights. It was a pleasure unknown to most families.

  My aunt and uncle are now going through a seperation, and not a divorce, but it could lead to it. Its devastating on all of my cousins. Even on me. So its definitely easier when you're only a baby and you don't know any better.

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