JuiceBoxJungle: Adult Temper Tantrums -- Ugly. Funny. Harmful?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Michelle Wed Apr 8, 2009 11:47am PDT

  Sorry to really admit it, but I have lost my temper with my son. I have yelled at him. I have actually screamed at him. I have NEVER cursed at him. (There are times when I really wanted to!!!) When I do lose my temper with my son, I apologize for my behavior. I hate that I allow myself to lose control in this way, but I am grateful for the lesson that goes with it. My son knows that even grown-ups make mistakes. We make mistakes and we are sorry for them. At the end of the day, he understands that his behavior leading up to my temper tantrum was inappropriate but also that my reaction to the behavior is inappropriate. When I lose my temper with him, I make sure that I apologize then I will make sure that he understands that I still love him and always will. We then discuss appropriate punishments for our behavior. I always abide by my punishment. Whether that means I am banned from the computer for whatever length of time, or that I cannot read a book (this is my personal worst) for whatever length of time. He sees that there are consequences to behavior, whether child or adult.

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  Posted by mommaofsun Wed Apr 8, 2009 12:04pm PDT

  Oh yeah, I have lost my temper, and I have apologized to the kids. I have explained that sometimes moms and dads just have so much to do and have so much on their minds, that they can be snarky and have a little hissy fits.

  I no longer look at other parents at the store, who are having meltdowns, and think "WOW, you are nuts". I think "I feel ya honey. I feel ya". LOL!!

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Wed Apr 8, 2009 5:56pm PDT

  I lose my temper more often than I'd like to admit. Most of the time it's out of exhaustion and frustration. I don't get physical, but my kids have a lovely trust fund of adult-only words waiting for them when they grow up. I usually end up apologizing to them for losing control, but at the same time remind them that I didn't get to that point all by myself.

  As someone who disciplines my children in public when needed, I think nothing of another parent flipping out on her kids. Unless it's a case where they are being abusive or hurting their kid, I just think to myself, "well, at least it's not me this time."

  I still remember some of my mother's tantrums, and a few of them I remember trying desperately not to laugh at the rediculousness of her actions. Like the time she was screaming at us and smacked a hairbrush on the side of the countertop to emphasize her anger. The hairbrush broke in half and the brush part of it went FLYING in the air and bounced a few times while she just yelled on. Thank goodness I didn't let it out, though, or I wouldn't be here typing this right now! heheehee

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  Posted by anne Wed Apr 8, 2009 7:53pm PDT

  um, oh yeah...I've been losing it. I'm just finding myself 'yelling' at my son a lot more these past few weeks. I have 3 yr old twins, so I'm thinking it's half age/half we've ALL been sick, so don't have our wits about us.

  I just like this video b/c it normalizes my feelings about it:)

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  Posted by Mindy R Thu Apr 9, 2009 8:30am PDT

  Just this morning as I was trying to get my son to get all his stuff ready for school - get dressed - brush his teeth - and so on, I lost it. He has a tendency to be a little groggy and slow in the morning and sometimes I just can't stand it anymore. I apologized on the way to school, but told him that to prevent me from getting mad he should listen when I tell him to do things.

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  Posted by Nikki Thu Apr 9, 2009 10:01am PDT

  Yep, I have lost it and yelled and even cursed at my son. I regret it. I confided in his therapist (my son has ADHD and we do behavior therapry instead of meds) and I asked if it is ok for me to apologize or does that show "weakness". The therapist told me that no parent is perfect, but that admitting to our errors shows our kids that we have respect for not only them but for ourselves and that it truly teaches that it is ok to be wrong and apologize. My son gets it and we have a great relationship.

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  Posted by snow Thu Apr 9, 2009 2:46pm PDT

  Hey! I'm the mother of four kids, three with some sort of special needs. Really nothing major except my son's severe autism! I'm an at home mom and alot of times talk to no one but kids. Yes! I have lost it and had an adult temper tantrum. But, I have gone back and appologized to them and explained what I did was wrong. It all worked out in the end. They understand. We sit down together and watch a movie or something else that helps us all just chill. It makes everyone happier. I know that I shouldn't do this. It's definitely not good grown up behavior, but anyone who feels trapped in the house or just overwhelmed will understand that sometimes you just snap. You can't always do the right thing and walk away because there is no out. You cannot leave them alone for some reason and things just come to a head. I always feel awful afterwards. It makes me feel like such an awful mom. I know that I'm a good mom, but it's still damaging to your mom ego!

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  Posted by alex Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:55am PDT

  yes! i have lost it with my kid. I had my kid at an early age (17yrs)and i wasn't mature enough to handle a new baby and the abandomentt of his father. In a matter of days i had to learn to be mature,emotionally strong, responsible parent and patient. Now, My son will be three in June and I've learnend A LOT!! i have learnend to control my temper and to be a role model. I am not perfect, sometimes i do yell, and it makes me feel like a horrible mother, so i usually sit my kid with me and i try to explain, even though he might not undestand, but i try..later i take him outside and play soccer, kids understand more if you play with them or a simple hug. that safety and warmth feeling explains the unconditional love one as a parent has for them.

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  Posted by klojkb Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:24am PDT

  Yes, I've yelled, screamed and cursed at my son when he was younger. Felt terrible and apologized. I think it comes with being a parent. None of us are perfect. He's a teenager now and it has been years since I have had a "tantrum". I always tried to explain to him why I behaved that way, and that it wasn't necessarliy correct, but what the cause leading up to it was. We have a great relationship, and regardless of my trash mouth, he would never curse in front of me.

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  Posted by Diane Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:41am PDT

  You ladies made me feel so much better, b/c I just had one yesterday with my son. I started yelling at him and I felt so awful afterward and kept apologizing to him he's 18 months and when he smiled at me I knew he had forgiven me. There really is no book out there that can prepare you for being a parent one minute I'm feeling like this is the greatest thing in the world and the next it's like can somebody please shoot me lol.

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