Parenting

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Kim Clijsters ups the ante on new motherhood. New mothers everywhere sigh.


"I just have to say that I really, really, really do not think that Kim Clijsters winning the U.S. Open is some great step for motherhood," my friend N. said as soon as I answered the phone this morning.

She did not bother with a hello. She did not wait for a response from me. Her voice was in the pinched place it goes to when she has a lot of thoughts and not enough air to explain them. "I mean, is it great that she won after taking two years off? Yes, it's great. She's a phenomenal player. But I am sick to death of people calling this a win for motherhood! As if we don't have enough on our plate. We need a new gold standard?"

Just to be clear, N. is not a killjoy, cynic, underachiever, spoilsport or grump. She's not someone who goes out in the world looking for disappointment and/or something to whine about. She enthusiastically works a high-pressure job and just as enthusiastically deals with the joy and confusion of having a young baby at home. But the media coverage of the event in pieces like Aol's "Kim Clijsters scores Grand Slam win for working mothers in her second career" and the Guardian's "Kim Clijsters seals the mother of all comebacks" had hit a nerve.

It's an opinion that I haven't heard a lot in the sunnier, symbolism-rich reporting of the event. And while I am just as smitten with a great woman-comes-from-behind-to-take-the-gold story as anyone else,  after I hung up, I found myself wondering: What does it mean when we frame Clijsters win as a "win" for motherhood? It's an event to be celebrated, absolutely, but a "win" in the context of motherhood, or even working motherhood, is a conspicuous thing. Does that mean that a working mother that can barely keep her pre-baby pace at work is, in essence, losing? Did anyone else feel funny about this kind of coverage?




 
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Comments 1-10 of 11
  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Mon Sep 14, 2009 9:39pm PDT

    How many hours did she have to practice that took away from her time as a parent? Being a stay at home mom is a "win" for mothers. Because they raise their child without handing them off to someone else while they go to work. Plus they take other peoples "clever" little comments about how being a stay at home mom means your "lazy" or "not qualified to do anything else." The real big wins for moms is when they can be brave enough to stay home and take care of the kids God gave them.

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  • sTaR's Avatar
    Posted by sTaR Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:05am PDT

    I think what Kim did is unrealistics. Cause lets face it--Most mother wont get to win a Gland Slam in their lives so if we try to measure up to her in the end we might get to feel very frustrated cause her story is a cnderella story where besides winning a huge sports title and she also won more than $1 million for it so to try to measure up to her is just plain ridiculous.

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  • Mo B's Avatar
    Posted by Mo B Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:01am PDT

    I can't say I take offense to it, but i do not see how it's actualy a win for motherhood. Does that mean those of us who work full time, take care of our kids, run them around to practice and whatever else they are involved in isn't good enough because we didn't win a grand slam? Personaly there are days where I see getting out of the house fed, dressed, hair combed and with all the things we need for the day a win in my book. Motherhood is hard no matter if your an athlete, stay at home mom, single working mother, or whatever the case maybe that we don't need someone else saying that this is what we have to live up to.

    And to Hannah, I think that being a stay at home mom would be a tough job. But you make it sound like a bad thing that some of us choose to work and put our kids in daycare or have a babysitter. I personaly think that being able to work and take care of your family is a "win" for any mother.

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  • Heidi's Avatar
    Posted by Heidi Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:04am PDT

    It's supposed to be a compliment to mothers. Chill out.

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  • watsonbodygirl's Avatar
    Posted by watsonbodygirl Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:11am PDT

    Hannah, who are you tring to convince that being a stay-home-mom is a good thing? Us or You?

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  • Karen S's Avatar
    Posted by Karen S Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:19am PDT

    I don't know why anyone would get defensive or anything about this. I'm a mom but it's not like I could win a grand slam whether I had kids or not or worked a full time job outside the home. I can't play violin or pilot a plane either but that doesn't make me less or more than what I am, and I'm fine the way I am. I think her achievement is great because she was clearly able to find a balance that works for her and her family. Motherhood and fatherhood are valuable but that doesn't mean that other occupations are without value.

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  • Zom-B's Avatar
    Posted by Zom-B Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:21am PDT

    Wow, some folks need to be getting a freakin' life if they're that stressed and preoccupied about this.

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  • Dubs's Avatar
    Posted by Dubs Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:51pm PDT

    I put the seat down. Victory for men everywhere.

    There was a carriage and confetti, the red carpet just rolled out. Boston was playing "More than a feeling" on a float next to me, my GF came and gave me this big trophy , the wind blowing in her hair as I swept her into my arms and gave her a big passionate smooch. The crowd went wild. Then I woke up in the middle of the night and forgot to put the seat down again...then heard my GF fall in later on. Life is good. /end sarcasm

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  • Raven's Avatar
    Posted by Raven Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:33pm PDT

    Totally agree with Karen S - well said.

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  • Leila's Avatar
    Posted by Leila Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:21am PDT

    Why are women so critical of eachother? We are our own worst enemy. Maybe her victory wasn't one for all mothers but it was one for her as a mother. I have two children 8 and 1 with my 8 year old I worked outside the home and she attended daycare, now with my son (he's almost 2) I have been home everyday with him and honestly I feel crazy. With that said just do what is right for your family and leave others to themselves. It is my opinion how ever that working mothers "enjoy" their children more because they appreciate the time they have with them.

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