Parenting

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Lay off Angelina...her boobies, her business.

In a recent interview with the British morning show “GMTV,” Angelina Jolie admitted that she struggled with breastfeeding her twins, Vivienne and Knox, and confessed that she quit after three months.  “(That was) about as much as I could do.”

“There’s this football hold — it’s a lot harder than it looks in the books,” she said in the interview.  “You think, ‘Ah, if anybody can do that, I can do that.’"

Funny...that's EXACTLY what I thought.  And as the oldest of four kids, I remember watching my mother breastfeeding my younger brother and sister, so there was never a question that I would breastfeed my children...I just always knew that I would.  And I also knew that I'd do it for at least a year (I mean, come on, if the American Academy of Pediatrics says that's how long you do it for...heck, that's how long I was going to do it for...I'm nothing if not a rule follower).

Unfortunately, it didn't work quite out like that for me.

Here's a somewhat brief synopsis of my breastfeeding experience:

  • Baby hospitalized at one week old for "failure to thrive" because apparently, my milk hadn't come in and he was STARVING;  Doctor prescribed some drug (can't remember the name) to jumpstart my milk production; Rented heavy duty pumping machine from the hospital to get those mammaries a goin'.
  • Drug turned my boobs into hot lava boulders hanging precariously from my body by...oh, that's right...SKIN!  If anyone touches me...I scream.
  • Milk finally comes in.
  • Baby is still starving.  Visit lactation consultant at hospital.  She weighs baby before and after I feed him.  It appears after nursing him for 20 minutes on each breast he only consumed one oz. of milk.  She's confused.  Looks at my breasts...good nipples.  Checks baby's sucking reflex...good strong suck.  Sends me home with some feeding contraption that I fill with breast milk or formula and then tape to my boob so that both the baby and my breasts think they're breastfeeding (and "won't get lazy").
  • Breastfeed with feeding contraption.  Major hassle...have to clean tube thorougly after each use, so in addition to giving the baby supplemental breastmilk or formula AND pumping after each feeding, I have morphed into a human cow.  Haven't washed my hair in a week.
  • Despite following every breastfeeding book I can get my hands on, the constant pumping (which on a really good day yielded only a couple of ounces of breastmilk), the feeding contraption, and not giving the baby a pacifier or a regular bottle so he wouldn't get "nipple confusion", I'm still unable to exclusively breastfeed my son.  Something I always expected (and wanted) to do.  I feel like a failure.

Now that my rugrat is almost 10 years old (and the healthiest kid I know despite being fed, dare I say it...FORMULA), I can almost think back to those painful months without crying.  My breastfeeding experience wasn't what I'd hoped for and to be honest, I feel jipped.  

But despite the major beating I inflicted on myself, I still suffered from judgemental looks and comments from friends and other new moms when they found out that I'd weaned my son after only 6 months (which to be honest, I view now as a major accomplishment).  These women should have been my biggest support.  Instead, they were the biggest reminders of what I'd deemed at the time to be my biggest failure.

So, as I read about Angelina and her breastfeeding struggles and the subsequent comments and criticisms from bloggers, I find myself wishing they'd just lay off.  True, maybe she opened herself up to the grief after making her breastfeeding a public affair (see picture above).  And I, for one, HATE celebrities that put out this life-is-totally-perfect-and-wonderful image when in reality they're dealing with the same crap we all have to deal with.  

But I give her credit for being honest about the difficulties she experienced.  Why?  Because when you're struggling with something that so many well-meaning moms take for granted as "natural", or something that some people have a tendency to pass judgement on if you decide not to (or for whatever reason, cannot) do, there's no lonelier place.  And sometimes it's just a little bit comforting to know that you're really not alone.

~tcb
www.thatcoolbroad.com
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Comments 1-10 of 43
  • Terry M's Avatar
    Posted by Terry M Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:56am PST

    Loved your blog...and I totally agree with you..I breastfed both my older sons with no problem, my 3rd son, ok lasted six months because with two other children and a job and being a single mom there was Just no way...then my daughter came along 5 yrs later...and her little mouth could not handle my breast, between my areola and the nipple, she could not get milk, she would gag and gag...it was heartbreaking... I had breastfed all my children....now this one I couldn't...i know just what you mean...I got sooooo much crap for not breastfeeding my daughter..I had to put her on formula at 3 weeks...so LAY off Angie, i don't know her of course, but she sure seems like a really caring mother..

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  • Crabmommy's Avatar
    Posted by Crabmommy Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:47pm PST

    why is she wearing sunglasses? that is the question.

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  • Barbie's Avatar
    Posted by Barbie Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:17pm PST

    People need to stop the madness. Its not always possible to breastfeed. I breastfed my son for four months and then...shoosh, over night, I was dried up.

    Report Abuse
  • HotCrossBuns's Avatar
    Posted by HotCrossBuns Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:12pm PST

    Are we supposed to wear sunglasses when we breastfeed, or is she just wearing them because her kids glow, too?

    Report Abuse
  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:15am PST

    O.K breast feeding stories yeah we all got it,some can some cant .We are women our breasts store milk yes -no.The drama over it.. is yes or no works, doesnt work, milk available ,milk not available.

    For Miss JALOPPOLIE who the hell cares ..shes a woman ,had babies ,breastfeeds,what the hell,she's not the first ...so lets stop the over hype drama over rating of this nutcase and stop glorifying her and her pitto.

    Report Abuse
  • Rose T's Avatar
    Posted by Rose T Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:17am PST

    I am Rosa, a sexy and beautiful woman. Internet is a quite good place to meet friends and even find whatever your need. i am just in the beginning of my career and want to find a rich man, maybe to be my sugar daddy. so i uploaded my hot and even hot photos on

    _W e a l t h y M e e t u p . c o m _under the name solo12, maybe you want to check out my photos firstly

    Report Abuse
  • AngieBaby's Avatar
    Posted by AngieBaby Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:54am PST

    who cares why she's wearing sunglasses tired and the sun hurts her eyes :P

    Report Abuse
  • SexyLady25's Avatar
    Posted by SexyLady25 Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:22am PST

    Oh, so I guess we can over look how she slept with a married man, because she breastfeeds right? lol Yeah sure.... Let's see if Brad can turn that ho into a housewife...

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  • Cass's Avatar
    Posted by Cass Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:01am PST

    I only breast fed my youngest son for 3 months. My doctor told me that the immuneboosting antibodies only flow through the milk for the first 3 months. After that it is pretty much just water. My son very rarely gets sick and he is a damn healthy 12 year old now. I also have a 16 year old son who was formula fed and he is a healthy boy too so I think it's just a mother's choice to breast feed or not.

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  • Susan's Avatar
    Posted by Susan Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:02am PST

    Oh my gosh, you just described my experience almost exactly! My poor baby was starving. I thought babies just cried all the time, but as soon as I started giving her formula, she gulped it down and didn't cry anymore! She was just HUNGRY all that time! 45 minutes of pumping both breasts while she napped would yield 1 oz. I never felt "guilty" about switching to formula. (I felt guilty about not doing it sooner, and letting my baby be miserable while I waited, thinking my milk would come in eventually!) I started supplementing with formula when I left the hospital, which really meant I fed her mostly formula and supplemented with breastmilk, but I gave up trying to breastfeed/pump completely after 2 weeks. It was the most miserable time of my life! I can't believe anyone would criticize a mom for not breastfeeding, or for giving it up, but I know it happens a lot! People should mind their own business. Besides, why would you purposely let your baby be continually hungry when the technology and products exist to nourish her? It's not like we live in the wild and have to rely on breastmilk which might be just enough for the baby to "get by" and survive, but not enough to really thrive, mentally and physically. I wanted my baby to have all the nutrients possible to be the healthiest she can be. Yes, some moms have overflowing boobs, but some don't produce much at all, no matter how healthy our diets are and how much water we drink.

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