Parenting

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Lay off Angelina...her boobies, her business.

In a recent interview with the British morning show “GMTV,” Angelina Jolie admitted that she struggled with breastfeeding her twins, Vivienne and Knox, and confessed that she quit after three months.  “(That was) about as much as I could do.”

“There’s this football hold — it’s a lot harder than it looks in the books,” she said in the interview.  “You think, ‘Ah, if anybody can do that, I can do that.’"

Funny...that's EXACTLY what I thought.  And as the oldest of four kids, I remember watching my mother breastfeeding my younger brother and sister, so there was never a question that I would breastfeed my children...I just always knew that I would.  And I also knew that I'd do it for at least a year (I mean, come on, if the American Academy of Pediatrics says that's how long you do it for...heck, that's how long I was going to do it for...I'm nothing if not a rule follower).

Unfortunately, it didn't work quite out like that for me.

Here's a somewhat brief synopsis of my breastfeeding experience:

  • Baby hospitalized at one week old for "failure to thrive" because apparently, my milk hadn't come in and he was STARVING;  Doctor prescribed some drug (can't remember the name) to jumpstart my milk production; Rented heavy duty pumping machine from the hospital to get those mammaries a goin'.
  • Drug turned my boobs into hot lava boulders hanging precariously from my body by...oh, that's right...SKIN!  If anyone touches me...I scream.
  • Milk finally comes in.
  • Baby is still starving.  Visit lactation consultant at hospital.  She weighs baby before and after I feed him.  It appears after nursing him for 20 minutes on each breast he only consumed one oz. of milk.  She's confused.  Looks at my breasts...good nipples.  Checks baby's sucking reflex...good strong suck.  Sends me home with some feeding contraption that I fill with breast milk or formula and then tape to my boob so that both the baby and my breasts think they're breastfeeding (and "won't get lazy").
  • Breastfeed with feeding contraption.  Major hassle...have to clean tube thorougly after each use, so in addition to giving the baby supplemental breastmilk or formula AND pumping after each feeding, I have morphed into a human cow.  Haven't washed my hair in a week.
  • Despite following every breastfeeding book I can get my hands on, the constant pumping (which on a really good day yielded only a couple of ounces of breastmilk), the feeding contraption, and not giving the baby a pacifier or a regular bottle so he wouldn't get "nipple confusion", I'm still unable to exclusively breastfeed my son.  Something I always expected (and wanted) to do.  I feel like a failure.

Now that my rugrat is almost 10 years old (and the healthiest kid I know despite being fed, dare I say it...FORMULA), I can almost think back to those painful months without crying.  My breastfeeding experience wasn't what I'd hoped for and to be honest, I feel jipped.  

But despite the major beating I inflicted on myself, I still suffered from judgemental looks and comments from friends and other new moms when they found out that I'd weaned my son after only 6 months (which to be honest, I view now as a major accomplishment).  These women should have been my biggest support.  Instead, they were the biggest reminders of what I'd deemed at the time to be my biggest failure.

So, as I read about Angelina and her breastfeeding struggles and the subsequent comments and criticisms from bloggers, I find myself wishing they'd just lay off.  True, maybe she opened herself up to the grief after making her breastfeeding a public affair (see picture above).  And I, for one, HATE celebrities that put out this life-is-totally-perfect-and-wonderful image when in reality they're dealing with the same crap we all have to deal with.  

But I give her credit for being honest about the difficulties she experienced.  Why?  Because when you're struggling with something that so many well-meaning moms take for granted as "natural", or something that some people have a tendency to pass judgement on if you decide not to (or for whatever reason, cannot) do, there's no lonelier place.  And sometimes it's just a little bit comforting to know that you're really not alone.

~tcb
www.thatcoolbroad.com
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Comments 11-20 of 43
  • VENUS's Avatar
    Posted by VENUS Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:51am PST

    Is this picture a photoshoop done of Angelina, seriously, wearing sunglasses while you breast feed... pleasssssssssseeeeeee. Listen, she needs to just be quiet no one cares.

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  • Happy's Avatar
    Posted by Happy Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:53am PST

    who cares if she breast feeds, it's not like she is the only one who does it and it's difficult give us a break, what's the big deal, is it because she is a cleberity

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  • Tiffany's Avatar
    Posted by Tiffany Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:11am PST

    Nice! You have a great point, breastfeeding is natural but it doesn't come naturally, it's a learned process and just like anything takes time and practice. Some folks are pros from the get go and some face a bigger learning curve. Good job to any mom who tried it, even if it didn't last long!

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  • Katja C's Avatar
    Posted by Katja C Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:09pm PST

    This was a great article. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate--I'm still nursing my 2 year old.However,we had a pretty rocky start, too--thank god he latched on after a week, otherwise I would've thrown out the pump and put him on formula, guilt free. I remember those first weeks vividly--my son born 6 wks early, spending all day pumping colustrum for him, going from 4 lbs, 17 oz to 4 lbs even in a day--my milk finally coming in, filled to the brim, boobs hard as concrete and the PAIN...my little boy unable to latch on, myself hooked painfully up to the pump, totally exhausted, and EVERYONE around me begging to give him a bottle. The lucky women whose newborns immediately latch onto their breasts have no idea of the agony some of us experience, feeling like failures for being unable to do such a "natural" thing.

    I was fortunate--one night, when my son was a week old, he quickly sucked down his bottle of expressed milk and screamed for more. I didn't have the time to pump again, so I jammed my sore nipple in his screaming mouth and--I don't know why it worked this time--he latched on perfectly, and we never looked back.

    I know how lucky I am that we made it work after only one week. However, some women don't have that. They spend all day hooked up to the pump, unable to keep up with their newborns's appetites. The exhaustion, frustration and pain is unreal, and it's impossible to really bond with your baby. These poor moms finally throw in the towel, and everyone gives them crap for it.

    It's unfair. Mothers need to support each other.

    I, honestly, am unhappy with women that don't even want to TRY nursing--even some colostrum for a few days can be extremely beneficial to a newborn. However, I NEVER judge the women I see bottle-feeding--I don't know their story, and neither do any of you. Mothers need to care for themselves in order to care for their babies, and nursing doesn't come as easily for some. The way I see it, I was LUCKY enough to be able to nurse my baby. Some aren't.

    And it's none of our business.

    (And, as an aside, it's no one's business that I'm still nursing my 2 year old, either! As a mom, no matter what you do, SOMEONE will have a problem with it!)

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  • legomyego's Avatar
    Posted by legomyego Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:25pm PST

    Jolie. Yes. Boobs. Yes! Anytime-maybe.

    I mean I wouldnt kick her out of a feeding per say.

    But listen Scrumptous.

    Madonna and Alex arent studying Kabbalah together?!?

    Did she really think he would do it ALL alone??

    I mean, Alex is a team member and like this-

    he wont grow spiritually. Inches will seem like days.

    To truly embrace his awakening, and his bat,

    he needs her personal guidance and grip-asap.

    But if hes not getting any grip from her-

    then WHO is he getting IT from?

    Ta Da! Drumroll please-

    Jennifer Aniston.

    Kidman and Jackman WAY too comfy together.

    Downward dog saucy Aussie style-here we come-Hell Yeah!

    Acting can be so imitating.

    Britney Spears, Paris, and the Paltrow are all thirsty manizers.

    Meateaters that pass you around, take you for granted emotionally

    and send you on your way ruined for all other women.

    Now thats runnin up a tab with a hot poker face.

    As for me-I'm hangin with "Seventh Avenue" Brett Favre-

    no dis to "Broadway" Joe Namath whatsoever-

    and Coach Tom (cough)Coughlin's first call-Plaxico Burress.

    Four guys destined to finally meetup in Tampa.

    Has an Obama/Hillary/Palin/Fey ring to it doesnt it eh?

    Breast feeding till CBS goes broker.

    All of the above mentioned are great ppl.

    Much respect.

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  • effenjen's Avatar
    Posted by effenjen Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:25pm PST

    SexyLady25, I am so with you on this! Angelina is a man stealing slut! When they were filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a reporter asked her if her and Brad were having an affair and she said "I have enough lovers, I don't need Brad." Yeah right ho! And did you know Billy Bob was engaged to Laura Dern when Angie snuffed him out?! She's a total skank! I bet she'll have fun explaining the mess to her kids!

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  • Zeplin522's Avatar
    Posted by Zeplin522 Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:43pm PST

    Please people. When will everyone learn to mind their own buisness. Who give a hairy rats

    .... what aynone else does. All you can do in this world is what works best for you, thats

    it. Live and let live. The end

    Report Abuse
  • arhf's Avatar
    Posted by arhf Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:19pm PST

    if your baby is 2 years old... they don't need to be on a bottle... much less breast feeding.. wtf?

    Report Abuse
  • candice's Avatar
    Posted by candice Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:28pm PST

    who cares omg!!

    Report Abuse
  • MrsKlingonPasadena's Avatar
    Posted by MrsKlingonPasadena Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:46pm PST

    Like it says in the title, who cares?

    Report Abuse
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