Parenting

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Leave your kid in jail...teach him a lesson...

Recently we came across one mom who's facing a difficult dilemma that no mom with teenagers would envy. Her 18-year-old son was arrested for a DUI that resulted in an accident. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured; but now, she's trying to decide whether to leave him in jail until his trial date to teach him a lesson or bail him out.

It's obviously been tough for this mom to leave her son in jail. As a mom, she has practical concerns for his safety and says, "It's hard to see your child that way."

However, she also recognizes how serious his offense is and thinks that serving jail time might be the only opportunity to teach him an important lesson. "Despite realizing that it's not really that uncommon of a thing for someone his age to be out drinking and partying some, I couldn't overlook the fact that he made a conscious decision to drive drunk," she says.

Every parent tries to make the choices they feel will best help their child in the long run, and this comes down to making a very personal and difficult decision.

Would prolonged jail time be an effective deterrent for your own child? Have you ever left your teen in jail to teach a lesson? Did it work?

Written by Kim Conte for CafeMom's Big Kid Buzz

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 82
  • oohay's Avatar
    Posted by oohay Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:47am PDT

    Leave the kid in jail for a while, its not like he’s in the state or federal pen where he’ll face any danger. Being in a county or city jail will teach him a life lesson that you cannot buy nor can you talk into him. Actions have consequences and during my not so wise adolescent years it took me facing some consequences for me to straiten out.

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  • C's Avatar
    Posted by C Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:03am PDT

    Shoot, just the fact that I didn't really care to call my parents' bluff (because I highly doubted that they were bluffing, I think they would have left my butt in there) kept me from drinking and driving.

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  • realitygirl13's Avatar
    Posted by realitygirl13 Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:09am PDT

    My father always made it clear to us growing up, that if we ever found ourselves in jail, we would not be bailed out by him or our mother. He would say "if you can find your way in, you'll have to find your way out". So, when my oldest brother tried to out run the cops on his motorcycle at 18 years old (yes! so stupid!) and ended up in jail, his first call was to my parents, and sure enough my Dad's response was, "you've wasted your call, you're on your own". Effective, I can't say for sure, but he did get out a few days later and has never gone back. The rest of us have never been to jail so I guess it's worked for us. :) DUI's are serious business though, too many innocent people die, I think this Mom is doing the right thing, her son might be angry with her, but he will have plenty of time to work that out with himself while behind bars.

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  • Karen S's Avatar
    Posted by Karen S Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:18am PDT

    If my child was arrested on a DUI, he or she better hope for his or her own protection that I do NOT bail his or her sorry butt out.

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  • *devotion72's Avatar
    Posted by *devotion72 Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:43am PDT

    My aprents also told me that if I go to jail...They will not bond me out.

    When my son was getting itno trouble...I locked his butt up real quick! His so called friends weren't there for him; just me! So he learned and has straightned his tail up!

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  • Brittany G's Avatar
    Posted by Brittany G Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:56pm PDT

    Leave him there. Atleast for a few days. I know my sister went to jail & she stayed 1 day & it totally freaked her out & taught her a lesson that every one had tried to teach her before she went to jail. Only staying the night in jail could teach her I guess. Needless to say she hasnt been back. Some times it takes one day to teach them some times it takes 1 month. You know your son. Do what is best for him.

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  • MichelleR's Avatar
    Posted by MichelleR Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:14pm PDT

    Make sure you check out all the blogs about the suicide rate in prison/jail for first time offenders....before you let your child sit i jail and "teach him/her a lesson"

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  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:19pm PDT

    Leaving your child in jail is not the same as prison. He made a terrible choice an now he has to live with the consequences.

    Like others I believed my moms threat. I never ran away, went to wild partys, skipped school; nothing.

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  • wengski's Avatar
    Posted by wengski Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:43am PDT

    Well, that's too much of a punishment...

    If she had tried that kind long before her kid became teenager.

    Like, not allowing to go party so to avoid drinking, then it would be very effective. Now, well the teenager has already built his personality and its totally up to him if he'll take that positively.

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  • Amy's Avatar
    Posted by Amy Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:16am PDT

    I have 2 teenage daughters. They know if they mess up, they can call me, such as if they are drunk and need a ride if they are faced with driving with a drunk driver or are in a dangerous situation. But if they do something and get picked up by the police? Nope! They can sit in the pokey overnight and I'll see them the next day or maybe 2 days later. Lessons need to be learned. And NO...my daughters haven't called me and been drunk at parties or drinking to my knowledge, although I know at the ages of 13 & 16, experimentation is bound to happen, if it hasn't already. My 16 year old has, and has told me about it. So I'm aware.

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Comments 1-10 of 82

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