Parenting

Friday, December 11, 2009

Liberal parenting: How far should it go?

In Monday's episode of the "Tyra Show,” Levi Johnston, 19, talks in detail about his relationship with Bristol Palin, his ex-fiancée and the daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. Bristol Palin and Johnston have a newborn son, Tripp. The couple recently ended their engagement.

In the interview, Johnston tells Banks that not only did he share a room with his girlfriend under Gov. Palin's roof; the teens also practiced safe sex "most of the time." He also said he was confident that Gov. Palin knew the teens were engaged in sexual relationship.

My kids are really young, so the topic of teen boyfriend/girlfriend sleepovers is one I don't think about often. I'm still savoring Little League baseball, preschool, "The Backyardigans," and lullabies. But news stories such as this one do make me wonder how liberal moms and dads can be in their parenting styles (especially when those parents are more authoritative).

You'd expect more conservative parents, like Gov. Palin, to completely shut down any request from their kid to let a boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night in their bedroom purely on principle (read: "Not under my roof, kid.") But I've seen conservative––and very religious––parents allow these types of sleepovers because it gives them a sense of (false) control, thinking that their kid would never dare to have sex with a mom or dad home. (Think again!)

It also seems almost natural that liberal/permissive parents would allow their child's boyfriend/girlfriend to spend the night. They may be very open about sex, even providing their teens with condoms or other birth control. And if their teen is going to have sex, better it be under their own roof rather than the back seat of a car. Some might have more of a "don't ask, don't tell" approach––they want their kids to practice safe sex, but they don't want to know when or if it's happening. And others might might draw the line when it comes to encouraging teen sex, especially in their home.

And can we talk about the sheer irony that the same lady who supports abstinence-only sex education for teens allowed her teenage daughter to sleep with her then-boyfriend in her own home? (One of my favorite quotes from Gov. Palin is when she said she's "opposed to explicit sex education.") For the record, Gov. Palin has not denied that Johnston spent the night. She has only said through her family's rep, Meghan Stapleton, that Johnston and his family are spreading "flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship." Wow.

Your turn: When it comes to more liberal schools of parenting, are you going too far by letting your teens have an overnight visit with their boyfriends/girlfriends? Have you allowed your teen's boyfriend/girlfriend to spend the night at your home? Would you?










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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 125
  • jennifer e's Avatar
    Posted by jennifer e Mon Apr 6, 2009 5:28am PDT

    What parents allow their children to do is nonone's buisness as long as it is not criminal.

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  • deleta's Avatar
    Posted by deleta Mon Apr 6, 2009 5:54am PDT

    I just read where Sarah Palin's sister-in-law was busted for burglary and now this. What a mess. Glad I voted for Obama.

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  • elle's Avatar
    Posted by elle Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:12am PDT

    I consider myself very liberal and was raised that way as well. Although my mother was very open and honest about sex it certainly did not mean that she was open to me spending the night with boys or having sleepovers of that kind in her own home. Although I am not a parent, I can say for certain that I also will raise my child(ren) in a home that is liberal but that does not mean I will allow boyfriend/girlfriend sleepovers in my home or elsewhere. Just because a parent is liberal in their approach with their children doesn’t mean they are also liberal in how far they let their children go.

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  • 's Avatar
    Posted by Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:14am PDT

    Liberal or conservative parenting??? How about COMMON SENSE parenting for a try???

    We are not our children's friends. They depend on us for our wisdom and experience to make decisions that affect their very lives. Whether it be Palin or someone on the "other side of the aisle", it behooves us to remember our children need their parents to guide them, not be their "best friends forever".

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  • cristall589's Avatar
    Posted by cristall589 Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:18am PDT

    We would not allow our teenagers' boy/girlfriends to sleepover, or opposite sex friends to sleepover either. That is just asking for trouble. Some parents may allow it, I hope they either provide the birth control or are happy with their new grandchild.

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  • Jezabel's Avatar
    Posted by Jezabel Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:24am PDT

    There are certain limits to parenting teenagers in regards to personal freedom. For one instance they need to learn to do things without their parents holding their hand so they can become independent. On the flipside their parents need to make sure their not doing something which can ruin their future. I suppose parents taking a laissez-faire approach to their social life in regards to friendships is one way you do not hold their hand. Of course you also need to make sure the same friends are not of, shall we say, questionable character.

    Now with sleep-overs of opposite gender (meaning boyfriend and girlfriend) we might have certain situations it is necessary (ie they live far away) but to be honest their is no logical reason why they should share a bed.

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  • Florence's Avatar
    Posted by Florence Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:29am PDT

    I am not a fan of Sarah Palin, but as a parent I respect her right to raise her children as she sees fit. It is easy to judge others after the fact. Fact base on the word of the boyfriend, who is probably angry with the family for whatever reason. There are two side to a story. The fact that he went to the media is very low of him. that was a personal matter between him and the young lady and not the public's business. I think it is in her best interest that the relationship is over. I am a mother of seven children, ranging in ages of 28 to 15, five daughters and two sons. my husband and I would not let our daughters share their rooms with their boyfriends. I have always talked to my four daughters about sex. I allowed them to watch all kinds of television shows when they were small, I demistify sex to them. I let them know it is a natural part of our lives, everything is base on the femmining and masculine principle; negative and positive principle. I explain boys and men to them. my husband recently bought the book for one of then by steve Harvey ''Think like a man behave like a woman". My having seven children has been a form of sex education for them, none of my four daughters want children until they are financial ready to care for children. I don't see what is the fuse about telling your children about sex. I dont mean showing or telling them how to have sex. I mean letting them or telling them the truth about their bodies when they asked questions, not sugar coating things for them. We need to mind our own business. imperfect beings.

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  • gigi's Avatar
    Posted by gigi Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:44am PDT

    Not a good idea for 2 people to be engaging in sex if they are not committed to one another and then having a baby in the mix definetly out of the question. I wouldn't have let my daughter get involved with someone until after she was married.

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  • Florence's Avatar
    Posted by Florence Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:48am PDT

    I am not a fan of Sarah Palin, but as a parent I respect her right to raise her children as she sees fit. It is easy to judge others after the fact. Fact base on the word of the boyfriend, who is probably angry with the family for whatever reason. There are two side to a story. The fact that he went to the media is very low of him. that was a personal matter between him and the young lady and not the public's business. I think it is in her best interest that the relationship is over. I am a mother of seven children, ranging in ages of 28 to 15, five daughters and two sons. my husband and I would not let our daughters share their rooms with their boyfriends. I have always talked to my four daughters about sex. I allowed them to watch all kinds of television shows when they were small, I demistify sex to them. I let them know it is a natural part of our lives, everything is base on the femmining and masculine principle; negative and positive principle. I explain boys and men to them. my husband recently bought the book for one of then by steve Harvey ''Think like a man behave like a woman". My having seven children has been a form of sex education for them, none of my four daughters want children until they are financial ready to care for children. I don't see what is the fuse about telling your children about sex. I dont mean showing or telling them how to have sex. I mean letting them or telling them the truth about their bodies when they asked questions, not sugar coating things for them. We need to mind our own business. imperfect beings.

    Report Abuse
  • amazingly sexxxxxxy kitty and scotty's Avatar
    Posted by amazingly sexxxxxxy kitty and scotty Mon Apr 6, 2009 6:49am PDT

    When I was growing up in the late 80s and early 90s I couldn't even close my bedroom door if a boy was over. My parent's actually made sure that we were doing what we're supposed to have been doing. What a concept that was, I don't know if this generation of parents thought so lowly of how they were raised that they have to do everything to oppose what they saw they parents do or what. I mean letting a teenager have sleepovers with the opposite sex is something that my son or daughter if I have one would have to wait for college for.

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