Middle age is a time of Loss and Gain

I used to enjoy camping by myself.  This trip however, I got lonely earlier.  So this weekend I went for a little get away with my husband, children, and their significant others.  It was then how apparent Middle age brings to forfront, you are no longer the main person in your childs life.   They are grown, and have others in that spot.  You are their mom, and that will never change, and of course they love you, but your spot in their life is vastly different from when they were children.  It's as it should be.  But it hurts.  I never thought about it when I was on their end.  I only thought of my freedom from my parents.  Now I am feeling what they possibly felt all those years ago.  I have gained two new daughters, my kids siginifant  others.  It really makes you look at your mortality, and realize, that they will only have each other when you are gone.  You hope they will be close.  I know that was my mothers hope, she told it to me.  But it didn't happen  when she died, so did the image of childhood family with brothers and sisters.  I have tried to hold on, but some things are just best left alone.  Again Loss, and Gain.  I lost my childhood family, but have my own in it's place.  Camping is still my solitary time cause my kids really don't like camping, but it sure does make you think when you sit by a campfire all by yourself.