Mom confessions: I wish I had a fulfilling career outside the home

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  Posted by Katie B Mon Jul 20, 2009 10:52am PDT

  I know I don't have any kids yet, but that is something that I struggle with almost constantly... My husband and I are talking about starting a family relatively soon, and though I want to continue to work so I can help my husband provide the best for our family, at the same time I want to spend all the time I can with our children so they can learn and grow in the best environment we can give them... :/

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  Posted by gracious432003 Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:59am PDT

  The grass is always greener, cafemom; just remember that!

  I have a profession, and it really isn't all that. I've always been smart. a college degree or a smart-girl profession didn't make me smart. I have more money now. That is the end of the sweet deal, that you might think I have. My commitments to my home are the same as yours. I just do everything sloppier, because I'm tirer. I eat more unhealthy foods than you do, because I'm tired and out of time. I'm not as good as friend as I should be for the same reasons. I don't attend church as often for the same reasons.

  I neglect attention to my personal beauty for the same reasons as I stated. Sure I can white-wash my lack of care to important duties to people that aren't intimate with my daily life, so I might look like I have it all together. A deeper look, would help you see that I have exchanged some pretty important matters in my life for my hoity-toity career!

  Trust yourself, and look for ways to bless others with your own personal talents, and you will be blessed, yourself, beyond your wildest dreams! And remember that the woman who looks like she has got it all together, and can do it all....probably not!

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  Posted by Phoenix Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:01pm PDT

  I am a career woman by choice. I love my job, and the work I do, with a passion. Right now there are no plans as far as 5 years out to have kids, maybe never. I could see myself being childless, but I can also see *maybe* someday wanting kids. The thing is, no matter how much I love my career I know it would never even compare with the love I would have for my potential children. The problem is, we wouldn't be able to afford a family without my salary. Also, I really believe my family would be better off if I didn't hold down a full time job. Thus, we stay childless. Never forget to count your blessings, moms: it's OK to desire fulfilling careers, satisfaction and accomplishment outside the home (and go for it if you can, seriously!), just know from this career woman's viewpoint, a happy, healthy family looks pretty green too.

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  Posted by Ashley Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:31pm PDT

  Yes i am a stay at home mother of two girls ages 1 1/2 and 4. I love to be at home spending time with them but then again there are sometimes when you just need time to yourself. So i say get some time away and you will be ready to spend time and play with them when you get back.

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  Posted by allee Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:31am PDT

  I have a dear friend who is very active. She knew that some days of being a stay at home mom were really hard on me. I used to work. She always suggested that i take my youngest to group activitys. She would say oh you can hang, and talk to other moms, and get out of the house for a while. We both agreed it would be good for my daughter.

  But here is my secret confession. THe thought of going was bad. I was already with kids all day. I have no patience for other peoples children. Some days i dont even like mine. Sure I love them dearly. But getting out, to go to a place even crazier and busier than what i was trying to get away from , really was not a break at all.

  WHile it would have been good for my daughter, we never went. I did however take her to the local parks. A small animal farm. The play area at the mall when the weather was bad. Places for kids, and with kids around. But if you go on the right days, there were no crowds. ANd I could really appreciate my own child and have fun with her.

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  Posted by Robyn Tue Jul 21, 2009 8:57am PDT

  i have been all of it, nothing but work, work and school (ya homework at lunchbreak), work school and kids( still not sure how pulled this one off, must have been the constant sceduling) , work and kids, school and kids and now just kids. and none are for the faint of heart. its hard and sometimes i needed a timeout. but through it all i have found that keeping my hobbies wether its 5 minuests doing a piece of a puzzle or yoga/ exercise during lunch hour or nap it help to know that i have me time.

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  Posted by EdieP Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:06am PDT

  Been there done that! I found that after having my second was when I really doubted my ability to stay home and be happy with that--which pushed me into doing some great volunteer work that I managed with the help of my husband. My goal for that was to do things I could learn from and enjoy, as a way to build me resume while I was home. 20 years and a small detour into a short-lived job, my children are in college and I am working, thanks in large part to the volunteer experiences I had while they were small. So hang in there, and think long-term!

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:14pm PDT

  SAHM/WAtHomeMom/WOutsideTheHomeMom: Moms in general wish they had something all to themselves that is an extension of who they are. Some are lucky to find it in a career, some are lucky to find it in a hobby pursued while their kids are home with a babysitter. Many of us feel that we never succeed at all in this area.

  Either way, it's not a work-status issue, really. It's an existential issue most mothers find themselves struggling with at one point or another.

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  Posted by Leah Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:34pm PDT

  I am a SAHM of four and have never had any job other than babysitting when I was a teenager. I homeschool so that gives me a little more something to plan and look forward too because I do enjoy it. But I would not want another full time job. A hobby, volunteer work etc, I think these are important for any mother to help retain a sense of self. Somewhere to go or something to do where you are just you and not Suzy's Mom or Bob's wife.

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  Posted by miss my family Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:46pm PDT

  There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. Of course there are days when you don't like your job (because lets face it it is a job) overall its wonderful. But i never really feel much satisfaction with an outside job. Its nothing like seeing a baby learn to laugh or stand or walk or talk. They just try to put you down for not having a job outside the home. Lets face it being a mom is a full time job. Your a nurse, teacher, maid, coach, mentor, disciplinarian, nurturer, psychiatrist, cook, daycare, taxi driver, and a bunch more. I think its great to be a stay at home mom and that its the most rewarding job. As the old saying goes the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. So be a stay at home mom and love!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

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