Because I feel like I’ve been complaining about Ethan a lot
lately, here’s a disclaimer: Ethan is a sweet, happy, funny boy.
And smart, too. But when he’s overtired and cranky, he drives me
batty. He does this in spurts: cranky for a few days until he
crashes and finally gets caught up on his sleep. And then he's back
to normal for a few weeks. Normal, of course, for an almost
3-year-old boy, which means he still throws temper tantrums but
seem to be driven by actual wants and needs, not just melodrama.
With that out of the way, let’s move on.
Yesterday was the worst daycare drop off in the history of daycare
drop offs. That might not be true. But it was definitely the worst
in recent history.
Ethan hasn't been sleeping well. We had a busy weekend so he didn't
nap much. He went to bed at almost 10 two nights in a row. And that
was not by our choice. He was in his room before 8:30. And we'd
think he was asleep. He would be quiet for close to 15 minutes but
then the door would open and he'd call, I need some water. I have
to go pee pees. Poopie! Poopie in my baby diaper! Daddy, rub my
back. Mommy, sing sunshine. Puh-leeeeeze!
These pleas were not simultaneous. It was water. Then pee pees and
so on until finally, at 9:55, I went in to sing "Ethan's my
sunshine," and he finally fell asleep.
He was not well rested this morning. I knew this from the moment he
woke up, when instead of greeting me with a cheerful smile, ready
for the day, he woke mid-cry. But we have work so he has school.
And he naps better there anyway.
The first fit was when we walked in the door to daycare. As we
walked through the parking lot, he pretended to spit at a car. I
told him that wasn't nice. I said it in a perfectly medium-toned
voice. "YOU YELLED AT ME!!!!" he wailed at the top of his lungs,
hysterical crying. But I didn’t yell. And I told him that. We sat
on the couch in the lobby, me holding him until he chilled the
f&*% out.
Then we went to the front classroom where I had a lovely
conversation with A, the class bully, over why I was wearing a
skirt instead of pants.
(Because I'm going to work, I said.
They don't let you wear pants? she asked.
They let me. But I wanted to wear a skirt today. I wore pants
yesterday. I wore jeans just like you.
She seemed to accept that. Ethan kept telling her, "Mommy looks
pretty like Cinderella today." Which is nice because he normally
tells me I'm not Cinderella so I should stop trying to dress like
her and go put on jeans and sneakers.)
ANYWAY, before we left for school, Ethan insisted on bringing Simba
with him. I suggested I put it in his cubby in his classroom until
nap time. I told him that again at school. He wanted to come with
me. He grabbed a couple of other animal toys from his classroom and
we brought them to the front room. I was pretty sure that would
cause some kind of problem but whatever. My patience was wearing
thin and it wasn't even 8-freaking-30 yet.
In the hall we bumped into another teacher. Bear with me here: This
teacher is the mother of Ethan's favorite teacher in the world, S,
who recently moved away to get married. This teacher doesn't have
the best sense of humor. Why? Because she thought it would be funny
to ask Ethan if he saw S down the hall and pointed to another
classroom. I was like, oh, she's here visiting? She shook her head
no and asked him again. At which point I thought about asking if
she was possessed by Satan. I mean, why? Why would you taunt an
almost 3 year old? First thing in the morning. When his mother is
trying to leave for work. And she just might snap and ----- slap
you.
Ethan looked...confused. Mostly because the teacher started to cry
and smother his face between her ginormous boobs. At which point I
kind of mumbled, "are you ok?" and tried to grab Ethan back. Was I
supposed to hug her? Pat her back? I don't know. I just wanted to
go to work. And eat my oatmeal at my desk. And drink my first diet
coke of the day because it's my only vice so please let me go.
Please.
The three of us walked back into the front classroom. I got Ethan
some cereal, glanced at the clock, and said, "OK, honey. Mommy
really needs to go now. It's getting late. Mommy is going to miss
her train."
At this point, Ethan got distracted by his friend J. J was holding
Lightning McQueen. Lightning McQueen, for those of you that live on
another planet, is the GREATEST race car in the world. Ethan plays
with his Lightning non-stop when we are home. He sleeps with
Lightning. Once they told us to bring our child's favorite stuffed
animal to school and Ethan brought Lightning. In case you were
confused, Lightning is not a stuffed animal. He's a cheap car that
is probably contaminated with lead paint. And I’m ok with that
because it makes Ethan happy. Ethan asks to bring his Lightning in
most days of the week but once when he did that, Lightning
disappeared for a couple of days. Those were the longest couple of
days of our lives so Lightning has since been banished from
daycare.
"J HAS LIGHTNING!!!!!! I NEED IT!!!"
"That's his car. You have the lion and elephant. You can play with
them."
"I WANT LIGHTNING, hiccup, MCQUEEN!!!"
I finally calmed him down for probably the 10th time that morning,
and then J tried to be all "friends" with Ethan and offered to
share one of his "other" cars later. (Dude, do not talk to Ethan
when he's in a mood. You will only set him off. Poor, poor J. You
will now feel Ethan's wrath.)
"I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CAR!!! I WANT LIGHTNING!!! NOW!!!" And then I
swear he snapped at him. Not like a snapping tone in his voice but
a physical snap of the fingers. A couple of times. Like snap, snap,
snap. But with heaving cries and shaking.
So when Ethan's teacher said she was going to their classroom, I
jumped on that sh*t and said Ethan would love to go too. Get him
away from the cars. Except someone had the brilliant idea to let J
and Lightning go, too. Way to salt my game guys.
At this point, I gave up. I needed to make my train. And clearly
some people had an agenda: to make Ethan's head explode.
I was relieved that when I came home, not only was his head intact,
but he seemed, dare I say, happy? And he even said he played with J
the rest of the day. Although he did say J never shared Lightning.
Which I interpreted to mean Ethan smacked J in until J gave him the
car for good.
Update: Ethan brought an alternate car to school today and was very
excited to play with J and Lightning. He also actually slept last
night. Coincidence?
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