Momversation: Are "mommy wars" a myth?

From the Community…

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:27pm PST

  Well...I guess there's your answer right above. Fight off the bat: false judgement and derogatory assumption about an entire group of moms from someone who classifies herself from "the other group". EmployedMoms vs SAHM's. BF'ers vs FF'ers, Spankers vs NonSpankers...Anyone who has experienced the modern "playgroup" phenomenon knows: The war never ends!

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  Posted by Christa Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:13am PST

  Wow, what a way to degrade a whole group of mothers there Khaliela. Funny, I am a SAHM and don't have the time to care what other mothers are doing. I have also been a WAHM, and a WOHM, and at no point have I ever had the time to think about other mothers! Of course we all think what we are doing is right and the best, or else we wouldn't be doing it! Duh!

  I am lucky to have a group of very supportive, diverse mothers I hang with. None of us have ever experienced the mommy wars IRL. On the internet, however, they run amok. It's easier to judge people you don't really know I guess.

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  Posted by Courtney Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:18am PST

  I try to ignore the "mommy wars" (or worse - concerned female relatives butting in wars) as I lack the time and motivation to fight them. Let me and my husband do what is right for our child and our family, and if you don't like it, kiss our collective arse. And unsolicited advice may or may not be completely disregarded after review, so if you're going to be offended by us not taking said advice, keep it to yourself.

  I think you hit the nail on the head there, DJandChrista - its easier to talk smack and judge people you don't know if you aren't IRL and if you are hiding behind a moniker.

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  Posted by MistressMinx Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:46am PST

  I think "mommy wars" are a ridiculous waste of time. Too much drama over something that is no one else's concern but your own families.

  Are these just an extension of all the drama that begins in high school? Or worse yet, middle and even elementary school? We don't do drama in our household. I won't tolerate it.

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  Posted by DixieDarlin Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:34am PST

  I am a mother of four and have no idea what "mommy wars" or WAHM WOHM or whatever other letters guys mentioned are. So I am guessing my answer is NO I dont think they are real. At least not in my realm of the earth.

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  Posted by noahs mommy Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:26am PST

  unless A child is in outright danger, what goes on is not my business. I am a stay at home and a breast feeder, but I dont have time to judge another mother. I just raise my son the best I can, with my morals and beliefs and hope other mothers are doing the same.

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  Posted by Shana R Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:28am PST

  No two moms will mother the same. You just need to do what you believe is the best for you and your child. But it can get uncomfortable when another mom becomes pushy about their beliefs. But that's not just a om thing, that's a person thing. Anyone who tries to push something on another person is overwhelming. No one is right, no one is wrong. Just be the best mom you can be, really.

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  Posted by KJM Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:37am PST

  With out sounding like an idiot, what are the Mommy wars, I am a stay at home mom and the last thing I am looking to do is judge someone else or "be at war" with someone in a different position than me. I am always looking for advice or help from other mothers, get another prospective.

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  Posted by PsycheQ Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:49am PST

  *rolls eyes*

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  Posted by Science mama Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:33am PST

  Khaleila, I had to laugh when I read your comment. Trust me, SAHM's don't have a lot of time either. To be honest, I hear the most "mommy wars" type of comments from working moms. Things like "I would NEVER let MY child watch TV" or "my child only eats home cooked, organic food." This is much easier to do when you have a nanny, and you're not the one who has to be with your child all day. The SAHM's I know are for the most part pretty non-judgmental, since they know how much you have to compromise to deal with children 24/7.

  Don't get me wrong - I totally respect working mothers. I am not saying I work any harder or have it any more difficult. But I do resent the idea that we have it easier. Each situation presents its own set of challenges.

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