Momversation: Are "mommy wars" a myth?

From the Community…

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  Posted by Kerry Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:37am PST

  MY Goodness!Some of you are just plain mean and probably the mommy warriors incarnate,just unwilling to admit it. For those that don't know, SAHM is a stay at home mom, WAHM is Work at home, WO-- is work outside etc. Would all of you eye rollers and SAHM bashers be pleased to see your kids being so nasty to another kid that was different or just asked a simple question? Reading stuff like this just annoys me. Can't some of these people have a civil conversation without bringing someone else down.

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  Posted by behnamm Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:48am PST

  ok very good

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  Posted by BrindaO Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:11pm PST

  Come on, women, we need to stick together and support each other. Who the heck cares who works where, the point is we have all come a long way, and we are all working our asses off. I am woman, hear me ROAR. Remember that song? Nowhere in it did it mention breastfeeding, bottlefeeding or where you work!

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  Posted by annie Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:40pm PST

  Well. I say to each her own. I add though that "like stays with like". I don't have any stay at home moms in my top circle. I like to talk about my kids and their accomplishments but I more appreciate spending time with my professional male and female friends. That's because we share more goals. It DOES take a special kind of woman to spend all her waking hours on kids and spouse. Whew. That would NEVER be me.

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  Posted by Christa Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:11pm PST

  annie:

  I mean this as nice as possible. Do you really think the SAHM have no less goals, and spend all of their waking hours on spouse/kids? Honestly? That's a pretty broad statement. How would you feel if I said working moms care more about there career then their children? That they let other people raise their children? I really don't think that, because I have been a working mom and I know that isn't true. I am now a SAHM. To make it "worse", I also homeschool all 4 of my children. You could say my husband and children are a big part of my life (like they should be in everyone's), but my life doesn't revolve around them. I have a very active social life, volunteer, and *gasp* GOALS! You really do need to think about the assumptions you make. It's things like this that make the mommy wars real.

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  Posted by cindy Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:12pm PST

  Its a "discussion". Different moms parent differently and sometimes they sound their opinions. I do believe in Mommy politics, which I made up that phrase. Its like, if I go to your kids b-day party, you better not stand my child up. etc.

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  Posted by annie Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:30pm PST

  Well, Dj and Christa (are you really TWO people???). You are pretty much on the defense here aren't you? I never said home types don't have goals, did I? No, I did not: can you read or just flogging your Woody here with all your spare quality time? Is the home school out already today? And, I really don't care what you think about the professional woman and how we raise our kids. You do what you WANT hon! I am!!!! You're awfully defensive for a happy little home type gal.

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  Posted by annie Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:05pm PST

  Hmmmm. Just read the thread..... THOUGHT SO! Seems as if Dj and Christa like to spend the day on SHINE on the offense!!!! She's been whacking her point throughout the day. This gal is a prime example of what a professional woman indeed does not have in common with the SAHM. She must not at all be as happy as she purports herself to be. Chuckle. You GO girl in your ex-large blue-jeaned mumu housedress and your birkenstocks! I like my 6-figure income, my status, exercising my brain and I look great in a size four suit and FMP's at a business meet. LOL LOL LOL LOL

  Here's the stay at home mommy with little else to do:

  "Posted by Dj and Christa Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:13am PST

  Wow, what a way to degrade a whole group of mothers there Khaliela. Funny, I am a SAHM and don't have the time to care what other mothers are doing. I have also been a WAHM, and a WOHM, and at no point have I ever had the time to think about other mothers! Of course we all think what we are doing is right and the best, or else we wouldn't be doing it! Duh!

  I am lucky to have a group of very supportive, diverse mothers I hang with. None of us have ever experienced the mommy wars IRL. On the internet, however, they run amok. It's easier to judge people you don't really know I guess."

  LOL LOL LOL

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  Posted by Science mama Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:31pm PST

  OK, I was all with annie until her last post. I totally see what you are saying about different goals. I was making a very high income before I had my son, but I wasn't very happy in my job so it was easy for me to quit. This obviously means I have different goals than someone who decides to climb the corporate ladder.

  However, your last post was really insulting. I am a size 6 and I am the fattest SAHM I know. I think that old image of the frumpy mom has been long gone. And even when I was in the professional world, making well into the 6 figures, I would never refer to myself as wearing FMPs to a business meeting. I'm not sure what industry you are in, though. Our credo was, to really move up, a woman has to be attractive without being sexy, or else you wouldn't be taken seriously.

  Oh, and you have been posting a lot, so I'm not sure you should talk about other people having little else to do. And I haven't seen other people insulting working moms, but you sure seem to enjoy insulting SAHM's. A sure sign of being insecure.

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  Posted by Future Yalee Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:06pm PST

  I would love for everyone here to chill. Many of you are being quite judgemental and creating your own little "mommy war." Apparently some of us never left high school behind...

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