Momversation: Do you fight with your spouse/partner in front of your kids?

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  Posted by Christa Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:57pm PST

  I think the difference between arguing in from of family or friends and children is that family and friends are not living with you, and part of you immediate family. There is a big difference between having an argument/disagreement where two people are getting their sides across, and one that is a full on name calling scream fest. There is also a big difference between it happening all the time, and once in a while. My husband and I have occasional disagreements, and we don't hide them. We had a huge one last month, probably the worst ever in our married life, and it was done after the kids were in bed, in our own private room. I would never have one out like that one in front of them, ever.

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:01pm PST

  If you never argue in front of your children, how are they ever to learn how to stand up for what they think/believe and not to be a pushover?! You can bet that if my husband says or does something that I find objectionable or hurtful to me or anyone else in my home, I'm going to call him out on it right then and there whether the kids are present or not. The same goes for my husband if he feels I am wrong. The kids are part of this family, and within normal reason, they should be respected enough to experience whatever "private" things happen in our home. Disagreeing with your spouse and arguing a valid point is in no way child abuse. (However if this is the only way you and your spouse communicate, you might want to reconsider your relationship!)Arguing does NOT teach our kids to be weak whether they be boy or girl. It teaches them that you must always speak up for yourself and what you think is right...and to be a better person when you can admit that you were wrong!

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  Posted by JoKTM Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:27pm PST

  There is a difference between arguing in front of your kids and both parents loosing there cool. My parents would always argue and their was NO conflict resolution being taught. People need to teach their children how to fight fair by example.

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  Posted by mel Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:51pm PST

  my parents fought in front of us kids all the time. as a result, we all 3(girls) have some trust issues. however, we also had our maternal grandparents as rolemodels as well. they never raised their voices at each other in the presence of others. we never heard an unkind word come out of their mouths. so as a mom, i have tried to use my grammas and pawpaws example. but i have to admit, i have slipped on occasion. especially since our divorce. i now try to avoid all conversation with my ex.

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  Posted by Angela Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:10am PST

  We have argued in front of our son, but I wish we hadn't- I don't think it's good for very young children to see their parents arguing... I think that it can be scary and shake their sense of security.

  Later, when my son is older and more emotionally mature, we may let a few respectful disagreements out into the open.

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  Posted by Angie Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:54pm PST

  A simple disagreement in opinions is healthy for children to observe. It shows them to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. However, if the argument is name calling, finger pointing and a screaming match then maybe the argument should be private. That is not an example I would want to show my children.

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  Posted by SpoiledRotten Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:08pm PST

  Disagreeing and arguing are two different things. As long as are kept at a reasonable level and there is no name calling and cursing than no need to get worked up about it. You can not keep kids in a perfect bubble for life. My parents had disagreements in from of me and I never felt deprived of love and I never felt that they hated eachother...I actually found it humourous. I have yet to see a couple more in love than them. Not to mention, their "disagreements" help me in my own marriage. My hubby can barley handle me in an argument. He never witnessed his parents arguing. I am happy that my mom and dad are who they are and didn't pretend to have a cookie cutter marriage.

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  Posted by SANDRA Thu Feb 26, 2009 9:34am PST

  I personally don't like fighting with my spouse in front of my 18month old son. I do agree with other parents on this panel though that we are human and fighting in fact does exsist, and when my son gets a little older I'm sure he'll see his dad and I agrue. No relationship is normal and if we didn't disagree to agree, we just wouldn't be normal! But I do feel us as parents should talk to our children so they'll have heads up on what the real world is like.

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  Posted by sen Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:02am PST

  for me it is not good to fight in the frontof kids why?For example my son if his father shout me he is very nervous,he is always kissing me ,meanig he loves me whatever happen to me and his father.so my advice is not good to fight in the front of kids coz they will have nervous brekdown in the future

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  Posted by sen Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:02am PST

  for me it is not good to fight in the frontof kids why?For example my son if his father shout me he is very nervous,he is always kissing me ,meanig he loves me whatever happen to me and his father.so my advice is not good to fight in the front of kids coz they will have nervous brekdown in the future

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