Momversation: Finding Me Time

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  Posted by mommaofsun Thu Feb 5, 2009 11:32am PST

  HA!! What is "me" time??

  My hubby usually goes out after work with his work goons and goes to the gym and/or to dinner and have some beers. I never complain. BUT, when I go up to our home, close the door, put on jammies, have a cocktail and watch a favorite movie, all I get are grumbles and complaints. If I go out shopping, by myself, I get called every 15 minutes wanting to know when I am coming home. So, IF I ever did get MOM time, I would go to a nice hotel and rent a room, go sit in the hot tub, go back to my room and get into my favorite loungewear, order the pizza of my choice, have a few cocktails, and watch what I want, and turn off all forms of communication with the outside world.

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  Posted by lacey c Fri Feb 6, 2009 6:18am PST

  Thank you so much for that comment!!! Everyone assumes you can just get out and do something, but truth be told most men are to absorbed in themselves. They take us moms for granted in all that we do. So when we do have a chance to do something its 20 questions and then some. The most time I get to myself is when I take the dog out to potty, and even then thats not all that enjoyable. I totally agree though.

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  Posted by Fallan Fri Feb 6, 2009 9:41am PST

  I don't have the twenty questions problem with my husband, but he has less patience with our son than I do. If the baby has been difficult while I'm gone, I come home to a foul mood and a still crying child. The baby stresses me out too but I wish there was more tolerance.

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  Posted by mommaofsun Fri Feb 6, 2009 12:29pm PST

  Just wanted to add....on my days off from work,I get uo at about 7am, get showered and dressed, drive into town for a grocery run and whatever other errands need to be done, come home and out everything away, put a load of laundry in, load the dishwasher, vacuum, take all of the bedding off the beds to wash, clean out the fridge, clean the kitchen from top to bottom, fold all laundry and put all bedding back on clean. NOW, today, he had the day off. So far, he has played PS3, went to the gym, and watched CNN all day. I asked if he would pick up something on his way home from the gym for him and the kids for dinner. He scoffed and said "you drive right by the store, can't you stop??" I may not go home tonight. (grumble, grumble)

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  Posted by Post-Modern Jen Fri Feb 6, 2009 8:01pm PST

  Oh my G, ladies, I know we are all in the same crappy boat, but it actually comforts me too know that I'm not the only one whose husband makes her freakin crazy sometimes regarding my requests for "me time," all the while seeming to enjoy endless "free time" of his own including week long business trips almost every month. I totally agree with mamaofsun, these days my idea of the perfect vacation would include noone but me, a hotel with a spa, some cocktails and pizza and totally honoring the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on my door! But this is as likely to happen for me as winning the lottery. I really miss my alone time...

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  Posted by Christa Sat Feb 7, 2009 5:11pm PST

  Wow, I'm so sorry you are all in the same boat. Honestly, it's time to step up and demand the alone time you deserve! Does your husband ask you if he can go out? When he got home I would say "Hi honey, I'm going out tonight and I should be home around xyz. See you later!". If he kept calling me I would shut the phone off and continue my great evening. Stop letting your husband call the shots, you are not second class citizens!

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  Posted by impatientmom Sun Feb 8, 2009 2:50pm PST

  My me time can be as simple as taking a hot shower, having a meal out with my husband while our special needs son is in school, taking a nap during school days, or even playing computer games.

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  Posted by Becky Sue Tue Feb 10, 2009 2:30pm PST

  I do two things on a regular basis to get my "me time" fix. Every morning, I wake up early. Early, early. 4:30am on the weekdays and usually, no later than 6am on the weekends. During the week, I need to actually get ready for work by about 5:45 and get the kids moving by 6 at the latest in order to get everyone out the door on time. Getting up at 4:30 gives me and my husband a combination of "me time" and "us time". We are able to sit at the table, quietly, reading books, the newspaper, doing whatever, and if necessary, discussing plans for the day. A good portion of that time is usually spent having our own "me time" but together. It's definately a trade-off in the sleep deprivation department but well, well worth it.

  The other thing I do is go to the gym. I try to go 2-3 times per week in the morning (and flex my schedule at work). That's for the "TOTALLY ME TIME" since I can plug in my MP3 player, crank it up and drown out everything. I used to do Yoga one night a week, and loved it, but honestly, just found it too difficult to work into my schedule, especially now that all the extra-curricular school activities are in force.

  We're also lucky in that one evening during the week, my son has dinner with his grandfather (my dad) - sort of a male bonding thing, and my daughter spends the evening with her dad (my ex-husband) which gives us a very regular "date night" although "date night" now includes running errands such as picking up groceries we forgot earlier in the week, running to the post-office, or picking up crickets for my son's gecko. But hey, it's still a date!

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  Posted by bakerlady Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:29am PST

  When my daughter was a baby there was not any Me time! However as she got older (tween and up) and more able to take care of herself, I stated a rule if I am in my room and the door is closed, you are to leave me alone, UNLESS there is an emergency, like a fire or someone is hurt. This me time started out as mommies time out and has morphed into a quiet hour 3 or 4 times per week. It took alot of doing but it can be done. Ladies with husbands, let him know that this me time will help you be better able to be a more attentive wife and will give him time with the kids so he can see how great his kids are!

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  Posted by mommaofsun Wed Feb 11, 2009 10:08am PST

  Hi beemom!! This past Sunday, my hubby was talking about all of us going to the movies to see "mall cop", which I have NO interest in at all. So, I had suggested that our boys and him have a guys day. Go to the movies and then for pizza, which is right next to the theater, and then for sundaes at DQ---thinking WOO HOO, I get "me time". He got all pi$$y and said to forget it and all of us stayed home. Why is it so much to ask?? Everything I do is for the kids and my hubby. I really didn't think it was selfish to want a little time for myself, but, apparently, it is. Oh well, I can keep hoping.

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