Parenting

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Imaginary Pregnancy: Every month I'm sure that I'm pregnant and every month I'm not. What is going on?

It's sad, but true: I am addicted to peeing on a stick. Each month, like clockwork, five days before my expected period, I fetch the rectangular pink box hidden beneath the toilet paper in my bathroom closet. I'm sure that I'm pregnant. And each time the result is the same — negative. Except for the time I mistakenly became ecstatic to see two pink lines, only to learn two days later that it was just a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage).

It all started last year when I needed surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy, which also resulted in the loss of my left fallopian tube. It was quite a blow for me both physically and emotionally. At thirty-eight, I knew that I didn't have many more years to have a baby naturally and knew that it would now be even more difficult to become pregnant. But I didn't let the odds stop me. My husband and I waited three months after surgery, as my obstetrician advised, and then started trying again to conceive.

The first month of trying, a mere two and a half weeks into my menstrual cycle and just days after ovulation, I was absolutely convinced I was pregnant. I had all the symptoms — sore, enlarged breasts, frequent trips to the bathroom, and morning nausea. I've been pregnant twice before, so I'm more than familiar with the symptoms. Five days prior to my expected period, I began to take home pregnancy tests. The first one was negative. I waited another two days. Still negative. I couldn't imagine what the problem could be. How could I not be pregnant?

The tests were negative (all seven of them!) because I was not, in fact, pregnant. After being five days late, my period finally arrived. I was disappointed, of course, but mostly, I was in shock. I went online to research such a thing, an imaginary pregnancy, and found that it is actually a rare condition called pseudocyesis — a condition that I've endured every month in varying degrees for the past year.

Of course, pseudocyesis is my own self-diagnosis. I haven't actually addressed the situation with my doctor, because on some level, I refuse to admit my obsessive behavior. Is it possible that I could really have such a rare condition that occurs in just one to six of every 22,000 births in the United States? Sure, I have almost all the symptoms, which mimic those of early pregnancy, but I'm not an extreme case. I don't have a distended belly or experience labor pains as do some women who suffer from this condition. I'm not that crazy.

Read the rest of this essay at Babble.com.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 17
  • Asmaila A's Avatar
    Posted by Asmaila A Thu May 28, 2009 11:43am PDT

    I didn't know about the imaginary pregnancy,but i think,i understand a little bit.As i had three miscarriages and two tubal pregnancies.Even though ,i didn't go through surgery after ectopic pregnancies.Doc's treated me with Methotrexate.After that ,i experience the pregnancy symptoms after every couple of months.I don't understand why.Even i pass some tissues ,when i got my periods after the symptoms.Doc's can't find anything.Now i began to feel,that it's all in my head.I hope for all the best with u in the future.i just want to share my story with u. As i am also going through the same.

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  • me's Avatar
    Posted by me Thu May 28, 2009 12:04pm PDT

    Been there done that! I too had an ep and I still have my left tube but it's totally closed. i definitely feel your pain and would suggest that you join cafemom.com. It's really helped me there are people on the re from all over the world their to listen talk or give advice. Just a thought. Baby dust!

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  • Brianna's Avatar
    Posted by Brianna Thu May 28, 2009 12:57pm PDT

    i used to do that but ive never been pregnant. it was when i started the pill and my BF and i use it as our only BC. every month I would spaz out a few days before i should start and if it was 1 day late id panic. it always comes. i have stopped flipping out since after 3 years, i trust that its doing its job and know if i were to get pregnant, my bf and i would love it as if it were planned.

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  • martza's Avatar
    Posted by martza Fri May 29, 2009 9:34am PDT

    this is the first time i hear about this. it must be hard for u.

    the best of luck to u and ur husband..keep the hope n it wil happen. :)

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  • Dayna's Avatar
    Posted by Dayna Fri May 29, 2009 11:50am PDT

    I really think you should go see a counsler. The mind is a very powerful thing.

    Pseudocyesis is very rare but it also is very real. The mind can trick your body into thinking just about anything. A psychologist or a counsler will be able to help you find the source in which you are establishing this thinking pattern. Good Luck and God Bless!

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  • Jules's Avatar
    Posted by Jules Fri May 29, 2009 12:33pm PDT

    Sooooo TRUE! I am with ya! I feel this way every month since my chem preg last year. I made an appointment with the specialist for next month.. :(

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  • Sesame seed's Avatar
    Posted by Sesame seed Sat May 30, 2009 3:22pm PDT

    Your not alone. When I was pregnant with my oldest son, it was crazy because my neighbor told me she thought she may be preggo too even though she had a tubal ligation many years earlier. I had friends tell me they suspected they may be pregnant at the same time. One friend of mine started wearing maternity tops because she thought she may have been pregnant. She wasnt. She never was able to concieve. Turns out I delivered the only baby.

    If you want a pregnancy really bad, it can play with your mind.

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  • spotty's Avatar
    Posted by spotty Sun May 31, 2009 5:45pm PDT

    This happens to me too. Good timing on the post! I took a test this morning, but no luck. I also lost a pregnancy a few years back, so I think it just makes you feel like a failure. People say not to feel that way, but I just can't help it! Alot of advice is to relax, but I just don't seem to do that well either! LOL.Good luck to you, I hope you are blessed by a baby, and in the near future!

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  • Lucky's Avatar
    Posted by Lucky Sun May 31, 2009 5:46pm PDT

    I do this too. Although I stop myself from taking the tests. I just wait til my period comes and nothing is harder than it being two days late. Just the same, I would advise that you stop spending your money and getting your hopes up so early. When I did find out I was pregnant it was the month I lost track of my period and thought it wasn't due yet. Try to take your mind off it if you can, dear.

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  • arielle b's Avatar
    Posted by arielle b Sun May 31, 2009 6:06pm PDT

    I find it interesting that you pass judgment on the "crazy" people who say they experience labor pains, when you continually imagine a false pregnancy every month knowing that every time you thought you were pregnant in the past it proved false. So who are you to say who crosses the line into "crazy?"

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