My seven year old needs help... I am so lost.

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  Posted by Karen Fri Nov 21, 2008 12:23pm PST

  emferguson318: I looked into that type of autisum, but it doesn't seem to show anger and aggression to the point my son it at. He is in speech therapy and is doing very well in it. Can you tell me anything about it from being around kids with it? These websites never give you all the info.

  I am honestly beginning ot believe that he is bi-polar.

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  Posted by Scsedey143 Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:25pm PST

  I have a sister with ADHD and my parents are not medicating her- but that is not to say that they wont at some point (by the way, I am 30 and my parents had a baby late in life) and my best friends brother had similar behavior when he was younger, so I am familiar with the things you are talking about. In the case of my best friends brother, they were treating him for ADHA for so long and the behavior would stop for the time that the medication was working but before bedtime he would become very aggressive. Eventually, the doctors evaluated and evaluated and decided that he was bipolar. Since he began the medication for bipolar disorder he is a different kid in a good way. He is patient, he controls his emotions or can be talked through them, he feels so much better about himself, he maintains relationships with other kids (he is 15 now) and he can look inward and say that he knows this was the best thing for him. He really is benefitting, so maybe that is what it is.

  Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out and you know it sounds like you are doing the best for him.

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  Posted by Louise Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:16pm PST

  Just one day at a time. Give the Conerta some time to work it wont work overnight.Maybe set up a routine with consequnces for the anger. It took us quite a few years to get the right mix. But there is no one thing that is going to work on all kids. Find what works for you and your son and have patience. Best wishes

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  Posted by Champaigne52 Fri Nov 21, 2008 11:14pm PST

  My daughter is 7 years old and has never sat still since she was a baby and I don't really push the issue but, when she was 2 years old I found out she has sensory issues and thats why she don't sit still. When she was in kidnergarten I was always at the school. She was walking out of class, refusing to do her work, her teacher, the counselor and all of them was telling me my child was ADHD, I told them one thing was she has sensory issues, she does not feel right sitting still and won't unless you got her doing something she is interested in. They wanted me to have her tested which I agreed I would take to be evaluated but, I would not agree to putting her on medication so they decided there was no point in testing her. Her kidnergarten teacher was the only having a problem they could send her to another class and she was fine. It was the teacher she done fine without that teacher. Your son could have some sensory issues, ask his doctor to have him evaluated.

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:03pm PST

  Stop giving him food laden with chemicals, most especially the preservatives BHT, TBHQ and their counterparts. They have been proven in numerous clinical studies to be a major cause of aggression in children.

  For more information check out www.feingold.org. The information found on there changed my oldest daughter's life.

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  Posted by KharaK Sat Nov 22, 2008 1:03pm PST

  As I have been diagnosed ADHD or ADD in the past, I have been put on those medications as well. I don't agree with doctors about ADD/ADHD, and Ritalin and other medications made me feel like a zombie and I really felt fine before my mother put me on those. Your predicament is much worse however. I have read about Adorall (If that's how you spell it). There are MANY cases where children have a negative reaction to it. From some of my own experiences in school and being suspended numerous times, in my opinion, he might not be able to help his aggression. For me it is something that just happens and it feels really awful. I sometimes can't do anything about it but go in a room and listen to some music or watch tv until it goes away. Of course you can't do it at school. I think that if my parents had allowed me to play sports or do something beside stay in the house all the time as a child, I wouldn't have been so angry. creative outlets like sports, art, music are great. Traveling helps too! Doesn't have to be across the world or anything. I get a kick out of going to barnes and noble and reading the books and putting them back. Just remember, you are doing a good job!!! It is hard to wrap your mind around something like this, and you would rather suffer with it than see your child suffer through it but you are still doing a great job. P.S. Please read this book, you may already have heard about it, called: And I Don't Want To Live This Life. There are a lot of similarities between what you are describing, and the things described in this true story. Peace and Love

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  Posted by WaNNa Be SecRet AGENt Sat Nov 22, 2008 2:57pm PST

  I agree with the above comment...have him checked for autism. Bi-polar is having severe UPs and DOWNS...his behavior sounds more like autism. It can be treated with appropriate therapy and may or may not include prescriptions, depends on what you and his psychologist agree on, and it can also be controlled by diet (see Jenny McCarthy's book on autism, her son had it too). Don't allow the doctors and teachers to just throw all these assumptions at you and pump your son full of meds, find a child psychologist that works for your son and for YOU and go with them. Good luck!

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  Posted by blanchelet Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:31am PST

  actor,play one of main characters in Christmess play,with to horns,by the way these is Mojses,and please read "Narnia":"The Lion,the Witch and the Wardrobe",hey

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  Posted by Russell Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:46am PST

  Hi there. First of all let me tell you that you are not alone in this. I have two boys that have been through it all. The oldest is 12, and has Pervasive Developmental Disorder, which is a form of autism, and he is also ADHD. The other one is 8, and has Aspbergers (autism),and ADHD, and is also bi-polar. Now you have all these doctors telling you that these meds, aren't working, but one of them might be working halfway. It sounds like you might need to look further in to your community for some hospitalization, for your child. In Ohio there is a youth hospital that has a placement for troubled kids, or ones that need there meds checked. If you can't find anything, just keep doing what you are doing.

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  Posted by NoelleG Sun Nov 23, 2008 3:34pm PST

  All of the above suggestions are good and take heart knowing you ARE doing the right things. You have reached out for help, are open to exploring all of your options, and are keeping your mind open for new ideas. You are advocating for your son and are sticking by him.

  All of the things you mentioned - ADD, ADHD, Autism, Bi-Polar - one thing they have in common is that they require a multi-pronged approach. They require a lot of discipline, not only for your son - but for your entire family. I am a social worker in a juvenile residential facility for boys and all of our kids have the symptoms you have described. For any variety of reasons, they end up with us. They are not bad kids, or unlovable kids, or stupid kids; they are just kids who need things set up a certain way to provide the structure they need externally until while they learn how to organize themselves internally.

  What can you do in the short term, while all of these other professionals are trying to help him? Watch his diet - feed him balanced meals of the highest quality you can afford (no artificial sweeteners, all-organic would be ideal, but those foods are also more expensive). Sit down and eat at the table together at about the same time each day - model good table behaviors for him. Monitor his play and viewing habits - our boys don't watch tv during the week and any computer or video game is strictly limited and supervised. Encourage him to play more outdoors (as long as you live in a place where it is safe for him to do so - the boys I work with come from inner-city areas where that is not an options). When transitioning from one activity to another (play time to dinner time, dinner time to bed time), give him lots of time and use tricks such as a timer to give him a better sense of time. Establish a consistent routine so that he always knows what to expect next. Always tell him in advance what is expected of him and use positive reinforcement for what he's done well; catch him doing things "right" rather than "wrong".

  The culture of your entire family will change by following these steps. They may be easy or they may be really challenging for you to work in to what you already have in place. Every adult living in your house (really, all the adults in his LIFE, as I don't know your family history and composition) has to fully buy into this and you would do well to include his teachers - this way the rules are the same at home and at school, and your son knows that all the adults speak to each other. Much of his anger and aggression toward other children might come from the fact that he just needs help organizing himself internally than other kids do and they start to tease him. By providing more rigid external structure (like the scaffolding of a building during construction) you give the internal building process more stability.

  Be sure to find time to take care of yourself as well, as much as you can. You can't help him if you collapse. Try to build a support system that he can trust; it will give you the ability to give him some space to learn new things from new people. Be patient with him and with yourself - real change takes time. You will make mistakes. Take the good and leave the rest behind.

  It's a lot, but I hope it helps!

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