My son is home!!! And I am really mad at his father.

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  Posted by Yogurt Lover Fri Jan 9, 2009 1:41pm PST

  Nope, he acknowledged your son was hurt....

  So that is different.

  Too bad you didn't have it in a text message.

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  Posted by Yogurt Lover Fri Jan 9, 2009 1:42pm PST

  Was there not enough time to get him to a doctor... was he heading to the airport, bus station, etc. when it happened?

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  Posted by Yogurt Lover Fri Jan 9, 2009 1:43pm PST

  Is there a reasonable explanation for it, I guess is what I am asking?

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  Posted by 29_and holding Fri Jan 9, 2009 2:14pm PST

  No nothing reasonable. It happened on Christmas Eve. He came home the day after Christmas. He sat there in pain for 2 days. His father called and told me it was black, purple, and swollen. No excuse at all!

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  Posted by Angela Fri Jan 9, 2009 9:50pm PST

  Hi 29,

  I'm so glad you decided to stop by my blog. I'm sorry that I never said hello to you before. I actually thought about commenting on this blog, but unfortunately, I don't think I have much help to offer you. My best friend from 5th grade is divorced. She recently remarried, but the father of her two special needs children is really not worth the space he takes up. Although he hasn't done this, he doesn't pay support, pay for their care, help get them to various doctors and therapists, or help out with any of their schooling. Yet, when he broke his leg, who do you think was the first person he called? That's right, their mom.

  ANYWAY...the only reason I can think that the nurse/doctor didn't do a child abuse report was because your son was there with you. Now, you know you didn't do anything to your son, and I certainly believe you, but imagine how many people they see IN A DAY that they can't believe? I mean, they could have just been being lazy, but since this is a divorce/custody thing, I'm sure you've probably been told how parents often coerce their children into lying to get even with the other spouse. So, I don't know what the laws are in your state, but if you or the medical practitioners couldn't prove it happened in your husband's care, they probably couldn't make a legitimate report. I hope you're following.

  The only recourse I am aware of you having is to contact your lawyer. Make sure you document everything. Document every phone call. Document the smell that was on him when he came home and the fact that he had not taken a shower while he was gone. Do everything you can to grant legitimacy to your fears. (No, you're not just being mean, and NO, you're not just trying to get even.) Did your son have a hunter's safety course? Did he have a liscense? All those things.

  Unfortunately, in my line of work, by the time a child gets to me, they have already been removed from their parents care in one way or another--whether to be placed in long term treatment, or their parents' rights have actually been terminated. Still, however, even after all that, a lot of times, even OUR child abuse reports come back unfounded. It's really, really hard to get anything done about child abuse, no matter how legitimate the case.

  When you have two divorced parents, it's that much more frustrating, because they're likely to think that the parents are using the kids against each other--even if they're really, physically, hurting them while they're doing it. I'm sorry. I wish I had more I could offer you. Just keep documenting. And talk to your son too. What does he have to say about all this? I keep telling my friend, it's good that she doesn't bad mouth the dad in front of her children, but some day they will realize that SHE is the only one who was ever there for them.

  Sometimes, I'm not a real mom. But sometimes I've been a mom to over a thousand kids, and I know how they hurt, so I know you have to hurt too. Take care.

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