Parenting

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Note to little girls: Living like a goddess, not so great

Photo Credit: AFP/Prakash Mathema

Photo Credit: AFP/Prakash Mathema

When Crabkid one day turns to me and expresses sufferings real and imagined from childhood, I'm well prepared with my responses: "at least you weren't a Chinese gymnast." Not to mention a Hindu goddess.

Yesterday Nepal anointed a 3-year-old girl, Matani Shakya, a "kumari" or living goddess. The deal is that Matani must now leave her parents and go and live in virtual isolation in a Katmandu temple until she menstruates, at which point she loses her divine status and is replaced by another living goddess.

To become a kumari is tricky. A panel of judges evaluates 2-4-year-olds,, and according to this AP article the process is as follows:

The judges read the candidates' horoscopes and check each one for physical imperfections. The living goddess must have perfect hair, eyes, teeth and skin with no scars, and should not be afraid of the dark.

As a final test, the living goddess must spend a night alone in a room among the heads of ritually slaughtered goats and buffaloes without showing fear.

Then, as if being worshiped in isolation during your childhood isn't bad enough, kumaris often spend their later lives in further isolation, since many Nepalese believe that men who marry kumaris will die young.

There are human rights activists protesting this sort of thing but there are also those who think kumaris are well-treated and have a better life than they would otherwise, given that they come from an impoverished caste. Of course I have my own instinctive and appalled mommy reactions to a story of this sort, but there are those who would argue that the likes of Crabmommy can't understand or evaluate this story, since it's outside my culture and therefore beyond my frame of reference. You can say that again. Especially the part about the decapitated goats at the sleepover.

Thoughts, anyone?

p.s. Did anyone catch last week's showing of My Fake Baby on BBC America--about "Reborns," those baby dolls so lifelike nobody can tell they aren't real? Creepy!

Read more about controversial children's issues like the circumcision and vaccination debates.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 68
  • Natasha Diamonds's Avatar
    Posted by Natasha Diamonds Wed Oct 8, 2008 9:45am PDT

    I know it sounds bad but think of it this way this young girl will get what her parents could never give her.

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  • Jude's Avatar
    Posted by Jude Wed Oct 8, 2008 9:52am PDT

    A hundred-goat bloodbath? Sorry.

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  • Amanda's Avatar
    Posted by Amanda Wed Oct 8, 2008 9:59am PDT

    this article about the 3 year old kumari also states that once the girl is returned to her parents, she has trouble apapting to her new life. and also the nepalese folklore states that men who marry former kumari will die young, & so many girls remain unmarried & face a life of hardships.

    what a life. not for me. but it's part of THEIR culture. who are we to say it's wrong? each culture is different. that's what makes us all unique.

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  • Jude's Avatar
    Posted by Jude Wed Oct 8, 2008 10:35am PDT

    True, LMBL, I do agree. Just glad I'm here...even now.

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  • Lovely_Lady's Avatar
    Posted by Lovely_Lady Wed Oct 8, 2008 1:37pm PDT

    These people are so f-ed up! I understand it's culture and religion but come one....a 3yr old goddess until she gets her period then they toss her out back to "normal" living and she's supposed to be able to adjust and pick up where she left of? This is just so stupid. And then to top it off with a cherry....she probably will never get a husband because whoever marries her will die young. So she went from "goddess" to a bad omen or curse? what hell??? It is so dumb how these man-made religion are always about women/girls sacraficing themselves. Like...the mormons who still practices polygamy. The more wives the men married...the better he is when he gets to heaven. But for women....it is a priviledge just to be someones 20th wife! soooooo stupid. these men need to be hung by their balls.

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  • Lovely_Lady's Avatar
    Posted by Lovely_Lady Wed Oct 8, 2008 1:38pm PDT

    I read this story last night was just so disgusted by it.

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  • HotCrossBuns's Avatar
    Posted by HotCrossBuns Wed Oct 8, 2008 2:17pm PDT

    We are the sane people on the outside looking in...that's who we are to say it's wrong! As a mother I'd be less than honored at this tradition. I'd be sure she had one nasty skinned-knee scar to prevent it!

    And I watched some clips on the Reborns, too. I'm not sure who's creepier, the old ladies buying them, or the woman they interviewed who is MAKING THEM! She talks to them like they can hear her. I wonder if they "talk" back to her.

    Another random but related wierdness: I can't throw away toys with faces. I also store baby dolls in "comfy" positions and fully dressed in the toybox. Perhaps I should revisit some prescription medications!

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  • avsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by avsgirl Wed Oct 8, 2008 9:55pm PDT

    I read this story today in the newspaper. Being a mother of 2 girls, my heart sank. I could never give up my daughter at 3 years old to live like that. And for anyone to suggest that because "we" are not a part of that culture or religion means we can not understand or respect it is wrong. Wrong is wrong. Is female circumcision okay because it is culture based? I know wrong when I see it.

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  • Katja C's Avatar
    Posted by Katja C Wed Oct 8, 2008 10:40pm PDT

    You know, I studied cultural anthropology, and tried to apply cultural relatavism as much as anyone, where you really can't measure a cultural practice up against your own culture, blah blah blah...

    Screw that. This is backwards and wrong.

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  • Barbie's Avatar
    Posted by Barbie Thu Oct 9, 2008 12:24am PDT

    That poor baby. Its not my culture but still I know those girls can't date or marry because "they will kill a man".

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