By TROBERTS, Barefoot & Pregnant
It can be tough to decide what gifts to bestow on your favorite pregnant lady during the holidays. Some gifts are joyously accepted and enjoyed but there are many "nice thoughts" that a pregnant woman can do without. Much depends on your relationship to the pregnant woman but if you want to play it safe there are some general rules to keep in mind for pregnancy gift giving.
Pregnancy Spa Treatments, Massages, Pedicures: Tough to go wrong here. Although this is technically a "pregnancy gift" this is something that I can't imagine any pregnant woman not enjoying. It is important to be sure that the professional or spa that you choose has the qualifications and experience to pamper pregnant women. If there is anything we can't turn down it's probably a foot massage!
Clothing: Not usually a safe bet. This rule can be bent if you are close to the pregnant woman or if she happens to still be in early pregnancy and might enjoy a cute sweater. At seven months pregnant however, I can say with certainty that I don't want maternity clothes (they won't last much longer anyway) and the idea of estimating what size I'll be after the baby is born is, well, not pleasant for anyone involved. After I had my first son my Mother -in-law started buying me clothes in much larger sizes than all my pre-pregnancy gifts. She still does it and it still doesn't go over well.
Pseudo clothing: A Safer Alternative. Mittens, scarves, some very soft and luxurious socks are all good bets for an expecting mom. They don't require sizing, which is a major bonus, and they can also be used to perk up a maternity wardrobe in the last few months. Pregnant women like to be cozy too so choose soft, non-itchy materials and you will do well with this one.
Baby Gifts: No Toys Please. Give the pregnant woman in your family a little break this holiday season - don't give her gifts that are really for the baby. I received a teething ring as a gift once. It was very nice but there is something very odd about a grown woman getting a plastic ring to chew on as a personal gift. Maybe it was intended as a "labor and delivery aid" but in any case I wasn't impressed.
Food: Proceed with caution. While it might seem like a good idea at first to give a pregnant lady a big pile of sweets as a gift, this can easily become a guilt-time-bomb that can explode at any moment. The last box of candy that came through our house made a yummy evening snack for me - and then morphed into a fit of guilt and shame at my loss of control. It's best to try to avoid this scenario if possible. There are some great food gifts available but you have to walk the line between junk food and an obvious avoidance of junk food (pregnancy specific "candy" bars and similar snacks send the message that you know she can't control herself - another bad move). That said, I wouldn't argue against a couple of chocolate covered strawberries in my stocking.
Your traumatic birth stories: Keep this one to yourself for a happy holiday season. I don't know why others feel the urge to relate every painful detail of that 48 hour labor experience but pregnant women get enough of this all year long. Your holiday dinner party isn't the time or place to describe the orientation and circumference of your daughter's head at birth.
Anything that acknowledges she has a personality other than "pregnant woman" or "mom": Yes! The best gifts that I have gotten during pregnancy remind me that I am an individual with specific interests that existed before pregnancy. Especially late in pregnancy it can seem like there is nothing else to think about or talk to anyone about other than the baby. The reaffirmation of an identity is priceless at this stage.
In general, think about what makes this woman special enough to you that you are buying her a gift in the first place. Being pregnant is an incredible part of a woman's life but sometimes the all consuming nature of it can get tiring. With the exception of the spa treatments, try to look outside of "pregnancy gifts" if you want to impress her. Focus on her interests and see if you can give a gift that is specific to her - not just her pregnancy.
