Reducing Parental Stress in These Hard Times!

Parenting during these challenging economic times can be down right a pain in the backside.  Our kids start complaining of boredom with typical comments: "I'm bored, how come we don't go anywhere any more?"  Our hearts pound with anxiety and that parental tug of wanting to make our kids happy ensues.
Being a single parent during these times can increase the daily challenges already existing to severe, or stressful crisis states. 

What are some helpful tips to the above challenges?  How can parents meet that balance of economic hardship and maintain happy kids?  Most importantly, how can you return to feeling successful as a parent, and as a person?  Insights to these challenging dynamics will be provided!

A) Free or cheap ideas to kick out boredom in your kids and yourself:

    1) Board games already on hand, be creative and make your own board game with your children, using 
        supplies around the house.  Garage sales or thrift stores also sell these cheap, so you can find new
        ones to deter hearing "I'm bored with that game."  Puzzles can work well too!

    2) Bored of board games?  There's charades, or act out parts in your favorite movie or TV show.

    3) The weather is becoming nice!  Get out and enjoy it and get some exercise with your kids.
        Fun ways of exercising without the term "exercising:"  play tag, hide and seek, walk, go to a local
        school to shoot hoops, play on the playground equipment with them, throw the frisbee (cheap too!) 
        Anything that you can dream of that creates fun and movement outside is healthy for the body, and
        also helps decrease stress!

  
B) Emotional tug-of-war over being a "success" in your children/teens eyes:

    1)  Being a success means being there with, and for your children/teens.  Being active and playing with
         them, teaching them daily chores and responsibility.  Remember, being a success in your children's
         eyes is not defined as giving or allowing them to do as they desire.  The ability to listen
         and care about what your child or teen says is crucial; this however, does not mean you have to
         agree.  Being a successful parent is not defined as being your children's or teens' best friend.

     2) Know and re-read the above.  Keep these ingrained in your mind!  Being successful means doing
         what is healthiest and best in building responsible, caring and nurturing children and teens.  It is not
         based on how much wealth you have!  Success is not based on how many toys and gadgets you
         buy your children "to keep them off your back and quiet." A successful parent means being
         actively involved by playing, listening to, and teaching your children responsibility.    

     3)  Finding success in your parenting skills involves the above, and also locating community resources
          around to help in obtaining the necessities in life: heat, electric, food, shelter, clothing for your
          children.  Place your pride on the side and think of this:  These are necessities and " I will have
          pride in providing these for my children!"  Check your local DHS (Department of Human Services)
          agency for food assistance, or help with utility bills, rent, or housing payments if needed.  Also
          contact local churches or salvation army centers that may be able to provide assistance. 

C)  Doing something for yourself to de-stress is NOT selfish!

     1) This will teach your children it is okay to care for one's self.  Better yet, it is a very wise thing to do!

     2)  As a single parent, it is quite difficult (as you know) to find even 5 or 10 minutes in your day to
          relax.  However, you must give yourself this!  More time if possible is great!   Take a bubble bath,
          warm shower, or read your favorite magazine or book at the end of your long day.  Tell your children
          or teens, you are taking Mom or Dad time.  If your child is an infant, use their nap times to spend
          time on yourself (of course using a baby monitor for safety concerns).  Allow a relative or safe friend
          or neighbor to sit for your children, even if for a short period.  This will typically cost nothing, or           simple sharing favors.

       3) Being able to de-stress will allow you to rejuvenate energies, increase your patience level, be more
           understanding and nurturing, as well as the strength to be firm with your children when necessary.             So, be selfish a little each day!  You have permission!

       4) Also talking to close friends or family members can help.  This may help get your frustrations out
           of your psyche, out in the open and away from you.  Okay, I'm bias here [ :) ], you can also see
           a professional counselor or therapist.  Most community mental health agencies can refer you, and
           help apply for mental health treatment services free of charge.   

Look for upcoming topics on parenting teens, parenting during and after divorce, also on marriage and relationships.

Greg Dudzinski is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Michigan.
www.attentivefamilyserivces.com