Parenting

Friday, November 27, 2009

Room To Grow: Halloween is for kids of all ages.

Since having kids I’ve noticed a few major differences between the Halloween of today and the Halloween I remember.

But one of the things that most pains my Halloween-loving heart is the opposition some older trick-or-treaters face. Maybe I’m just remembering the Halloweens of my childhood through pumpkin-colored lenses, but it seemed like there was more tolerance for trick-or-treaters of all ages when I was a kid.

It’s true, some older kids don’t really get into the spirit of Halloween—instead of donning costumes, some teenagers simply wear a smirk, a bag, and a sense of entitlement.

But I don’t really get the outright hostility that some adults have toward older kids who just want to dress up and have some fun. “They’re too old for that!” cry the naysayers. Too old for what? Dressing outrageously, wandering around town at night, and eating junk food? Isn’t that what being a teenager is all about?

My teenaged nephew still gets excited about trick-or-treating. His costumes are elaborate and well-thought-out. And his gratitude for your hard-earned candy is far more heartfelt than my two-year-old’s. But this year, many of his friend’s parents are putting the nix on the treats and the tricks, so he’ll either have to find a troupe of smaller children to accompany him, or go out alone, into a world where many keepers of the candy will judge him not on the volume of his Halloween spirit, but the size of his shoes.

I feel for the teenaged would-be trick-or-treaters. By this point, most of them have given up on the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and Halloween is one of the last vestiges of childhood magic they’ve got left.

And it’s not like we grown-ups can claim we don’t long for Halloween fun, too. Adults still dress up, but we eat too much junk food and act like children at cocktail parties instead of going from door to door. We don’t want our teenaged kids throwing cocktail parties, so why not let—or even encourage—them to trick-or-treat?

Nobody wants to dole out candy to a sullen teen who looks like he couldn’t be bothered to dress up. I get it. But let’s just consider for a moment that the kid who shows up on your door with no costume might just be longing for a bit of that Halloween magic. Maybe he can’t quite bring himself to wear a costume in front of his friends. Maybe he’s just a brat. I don’t really care, frankly. I mean, the kids are asking me for a piece of candy, not a piece of my liver. What’s the big deal?

I’m hereby issuing an invitation: my house will be an equal-opportunity candy distributor this Halloween. If you show up at my door, you will get a treat, whether you’re two or twenty-two. Just a warning, though: no matter how old (or young) you are, I expect you to be nice to me.

Otherwise, I’ve got a special stash of pennies and unwrapped Mary Janes, just for you.

--Meagan Francis is a parenting author and mom of four boys with another on the way. She writes about parenthood and her life at her blog.

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Comments 1-5 of 5
  • Robyn's Avatar
    Posted by Robyn Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:53pm PDT

    That is absoultly great! I feel the same way. at 27 years old i wish i could get my friends to trick or treat! I love dressing up and thankfully my office wholly supports our annual costume contest at lunch (yes we drive through downtown and wear our costumes to work!)

    It's nice to know someome else truly has halloween spirit!!

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  • princess's Avatar
    Posted by princess Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:04pm PDT

    I've always LOVED Halloween. I'm 37 (did I just say that?) and I have 2 kids (15 & 13). They've decided NOT to trick or treat this year, but instead to have a sleepover(they're both girls). They're gonna invite some friends, I'm taking the entire crew to a haunted house, coming back home to veg out and watch a couple of horror movies.

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  • HotCrossBuns's Avatar
    Posted by HotCrossBuns Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:49pm PDT

    Back in my pre-country bumpkin days when I handed out candy to the masses at my doorstep, I used to dole it out with equal amount of enthusiasm of the trickster at my door. Little to no enthumsiasm (translation: bad attitude and no costume) meant measly handouts (like the stale twizzlers from the previous year). The kids who went all out and were into the spirit got a few extra pieces of the good stuff. Hey, turnabout's fair play, right?

    Luckily I get no trick or treaters at my house. Unless that goat shows up at my door again.....

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  • Ashley's Avatar
    Posted by Ashley Fri Dec 5, 2008 8:28pm PST

    I'm 17 and I don't think it's right for kids my age to trick-or-treat. However, dressing up and going to a party is still good.

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  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Wed Sep 9, 2009 4:49pm PDT

    When we were little there were two things we didn't do (well one of them believe in) One was halloween. My mom and dad didn't like the backdrop to halloween and the fact that it encourages children to dress up like negative things (like the devil, or witches) But they did buy us candy and we usually got to get a new movie or something. The only reason that they did that is because we were in school and they didn't want us to feel like because we were christian we couldn't do anything fun. The other thing is we were taught santa wasn't real. for 2 reasons 1.Because my parents had a strict no lying policy no matter what no matter how hard the issue they never lied. If they thought we weren't mature enough to understand they'd say "I'll tell you when your older" 2 they were afraid when we found out santa wasn't real we'd think God wasn't real either. Now that im older I've thought about it and find I fully agree on both issues. Christmas was no less special to me, I wasn't emotionally scarred and have good memories for both holidays. I will continue that tradition as well. And all my sisters say they won't teach santa. But some plan on doing halloween.

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