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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant.

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by Risa Green (Tales from the Mommy Track)
A few weeks ago, my husband and I had a “group dinner” with three other couples who we’ve known forever. You can imagine the scene: eight people seated at a table in an Italian restaurant. The women are together at one end of the table, the men at the other end. A bottle of red. A bottle of white. Blah, blah, blah. We used to go to dinners like this all the time when we were younger, and I loved them. But then people started having kids, they didn’t have sitters, schedules became harder to coordinate, and the group dinners happened more and more infrequently. So, recently, we decided to make more of an effort. We planned months in advance, got a date on our calendars, made a reservation. We did it. And now I never want to do it again. I think this snippet of conversation from the ladies’ end of the table may help explain why:

WIFE #1
Is your son sleeping in underwear yet? Because my son is still in pull ups and I’m starting to think that something is wrong with him. 

WIFE #2
I wouldn’t worry about it. My pediatrician said that some kids are just deep sleepers, and it takes them longer.

WIFE #3
Who is your pediatrician? Do you go to Dr. Bob? Because I interviewed him when I was pregnant, and something about him rubbed me the wrong way, but now everyone I know goes to him, and I’m wondering if I made a mistake because I’m not that happy with my pediatrician anymore. 

ME
I’m reading the best book right now. It’s about this writer who spends an entire year following the bible literally. It’s really funny. (Long pause as everyone stares at me).

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Risa Green, author of Tales from the Mommy Track on MommyTrackd.com, lives in Los Angeles. In the last four years, she has produced two children, called Harper and Davis, and two novels, called Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib. She is currently working on a third (novel not child).

Related: tales from the mommy track, socializing, risa green, parenting, mommytracked, mommytrackd, mommyblog

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Comments 1-5 of 5
  • Karen S's Avatar
    Posted by Karen S Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:12pm PST

    You know, when I worked full time and did not have kids, I had all sorts of time to talk about any variety of things, and all sorts of people to talk TO. Now, when I get a chance to talk about a grown-up, we do tend to talk either about basic parenting things or about silly lowest common denominator things. Who's to say that their talk of a pediatrician isn't just a bit less pointless than your talking about some idiot creationist museum?

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:43pm PST

    Oh, gosh, I am with you on this one. Before having kids, I was always friends with more guys than women, and I think that's why--most women are too afraid to have actual conversation with one another because it will be heavily dissected and criticized later on to their significant other. Before my son was born, I knew some women with kids and they talked about their kids a lot, and all the stuff that goes along with having kids, and so I thought this was just something that happened to you and you became this person centered on your kid (which in no way is a bad thing). But, now that I have him and I am not talking about him 24/7, I find that still most other women are. I have a hard time relating to any of them. Sure, we both have babies that do X, Y and Z, but can we please talk about the economy or good books or new restaurants or SOMETHING??? I spend a lot of my waking hours taking care of my baby and worrying about my baby, I'd like to be able to hang out with friends and have a break.

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:23am PST

    Yee haw: Ride 'em cowboy. Hhahahahahahahahahaha.....................M D

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:32am PST

    Twice a year, 8 ladies ( including myself) from our university days get together. We don't all live in the same city now, so it requires planning. I am thinking about bowing out this coming June. There is one person who talks non stop the entire time about her kids, their accomplishments, their vacations, yak, yak , yak. Yes, we have all tried to interrupt and turn the conversation, but that doesn't stop her.

    All of these ladies are educated professional women who have many aspects to their lives. But instead, we all heard all about how little Lauren kicked butt at the last swim meet. Yawn.

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  • sunnysideup's Avatar
    Posted by sunnysideup Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:32am PST

    I have no problem talking about child related topics - but I also agree that women can/and are capable of discussing more worldly topics. When I go out with some of my friends who may or may not have kids I try not to bore them endlessly about my kid, but want to know what is going on with them and their lives. I think it is perfectly fine to talk about one's child as long as it is not monopolizing the whole conversation.

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