I don't remember my mother EVER having a cold, although I'm
sure she did. I have some friends who insist that their husband
stay home from work until they are well and then I have others who
plow through like they aren't sick at all. I've never
really been clear on this issue. Unlike other jobs there is no
"sick-day policy" for motherhood. I'm going to
propose one so as to clear this issue up for families every
where.
article 1.0
A sick day is defined as a 24 hour period beginning when a mother
designates that she is indeed sick.
article 1.1
If a fever or vomiting exists a husband is required to stay home
from work without question or negotiation. However, if children are
school-aged and the sick day falls on a school day then the husband
is only required to be home after school hours.
aritcle 1.2
If a doctor visit is required (regardless of presence of either
fever or vomiting) then husband is required to be at home for
doctor's visit allowing time for travel to and from
doctor's office within a reasonable speed. Again, if children
are school-aged then mother should try to schedule doctor's
visit during school hours.
article 1.3
If medication is required that may cause sleepiness or lack of
consciousness then husband is required to stay at home. (see
article 1.0 regarding school-aged children)
article 1.4
If a hospital visit is required (either planned or unplanned)
husband must stay home from work.
article 1.5
If for some reason a husband cannot fulfill his obligation of
staying home he must be responsible for finding an acceptable
replacement (this replacement must either be a relation or someone
that sick mother approves).
article 1.6
Husband is not allowed to negotiate these rules or use
guilt-induced pleas like; "Do you REALLY need me to stay
home?" or "Oh man, I've got this REALLY important
meeting today and can't the kids just watch TV all day?"
This also includes challenging how sick mother REALLY is and
whether or not she is just being a "baby".
article 1.6.1 children do NOT watch TV all day. There are diapers
to change, meals to make, bottoms to wipe, arguments to referee and
games to be played.
article 1.7
Regardless of seriousness of illness a husband is not allowed,
under any circumstances to do any of the following during the
duration of the sick day: a.) work late b.) require meals to be
made, c.) require laundry to be done, d.) decide to start large,
messy project with children.
article 1.8
During the duration of the sick day husband is required to maintain
basic household order. This includes cleaning dishes regularly,
dressing children, and picking up toys and dirty clothes off of
floor. Husband is not required to DO laundry, or CLEAN house (God
forbid) but is only required to maintain basic maintenance so sick
mother is not left with a pit of despair once health has
returned.
article 1.9
During the sick day a mother is not responsible for any nighttime
needs of the children. This may include middle of the night
bathroom visits, nightmare disbursement, drinking water needs, or
bottle feedings.
article 2.0
A mother is allowed 3 sick days for each year of service. Two
additional days are granted for each child past one. For example, a
mother of 2 who has children the ages of 4 and 2 will have earned
14 sick days. That would be 3 sick days for her 4 years of service
and 2 extra days for her second child.
article 2.1
A husband is also required to run to the store to pick up anything
required to aid in the healing process of sick mother. This may
include everything from picking up prescriptions to purchasing ice
cream for a sore throat.
I feel much better just knowing that this policy has been put in
place. I recommend that we all print this off and get our husbands
to sign it. This will prevent negotiations, martyrdom and general
guilt on either side of this problem.
Sick Day Policy For Motherhood
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From the Community…
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Posted by Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:12pm PST
Report AbuseI AGREE MY HUSBAND READ THIS WITH ME AND WE BOTH LAUGHED. I HAVE TWO BOYS 2 1/2 AND 7 WEEKS... WELL, WHEN MY BABY WAS ONLY 2 WEEKS OLD... ME AND MY OLDER SON BOTH CAME DOWN WITH TERRIBLE COLDS AND I AM BREASTFEEDING, UHH IT WAS TERRIBLE, BUT MY HUSBAND STILL HAD TO GO TO WORK AND SCHOOL... HE DID INDEED DO ALL THE PICKING UP OF TOYS AND AT LEAST KEEP SOME ORDER IN THE HOUSE... BUT LETS FACE IT A WOMAN HAS CERTAIN EXPECTAIONS OF HOW THINGS ARE DONE SO AS SOON AS I FELT A LITTLE LESS LIKE I HAVE BEEN HIT BY A TRAIN I GOT UP AND CLEANED THE HOUSE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.. I LOVED YOUR IDEA THOUGH...LOL
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 6:04am PST
Report AbuseWait wait wait - your HUSBAND stay home to take care of YOU when you're sick?! You've got to be kidding me! Grow up!
In the real world, you're often expected to show up sick to show your devotion to the company. Sad, but true. And while it gets other employees sick, everyone shows up, marches on, and the ones that take too many sick days get laid off or fired. That's the way it works in this economy.
Consider yourself very blessed that your husband isn't laid off for taking time off when YOU are sick. His sick time is for when HE is sick, not you, or PTO is for times when the children would otherwise be left without care. You're a grown woman! You can take care of yourself! How much you want to bet his job is already endangered because of the morale issue that's caused when he stays home to take care of you, an adult, when he's not actually ill? Leaving a child at home because school or daycare policy says they can't come in is one thing, but you're a grown woman and you need to act like it.
Thank your lucky stars 1) he makes enough for you to stay home 2) he'd even bother considering staying home to baby you and 3) he hasn't been fired yet for taking sick time when he's not sick 4) he hasn't left you yet. I mean, if my husband wanted to stay home with the kids (I make enough) and then demanded I stay home to take care of all of them when he's sick and is perfectly capable of turning on the TV for them, I'd be out the door in a heartbeat.
Cancer? OK, FMLA I'll give you that one. But a cold? The flu? You don't have to go to a doc or hospital for that, so just stay home, rest up, and slack off on the housework. The kids can usually manage themselves. I know when I'm sick my 2 yr old is perfectly content to drink her cuppy and have a snack while watching a Disney movie. Our house is locked down childproof and I have no qualms about showering or napping if my hubby's not around.
In fact, I worked 2 jobs, went to college full time, and raised my son for 5 years - alone! What do you think I did when I got sick? Demand that Medicaid send someone over to babysit my son and me? No! I went to work anyway to avoid losing my job. I studied for exams to keep my grades up to keep my financial aid. I looked after my son no matter how sick I was.
It probably sounds harsh, but the lower your pay the less time off you get. As a SAHM, you don't get paid, therefore you get no time off. Suck it up like the rest of us and carry on. Demanding your husband take time off is absolutely rediculous.
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 7:18am PST
Report AbuseWow DeAnn. Hmmm, must of hit a nerve. I was really trying to be funny, guess not so much. No worries about my husband's job or mine. We're all good.
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 8:37am PST
Report Abuseyeah, I'm gonna go with DeAnn on this one. I work full time & my hubby works full time so that we can pay bills. We have 4 kids & this is the 1st year that they are all in school full time. And even so, I don't usually get sick days for me. I have to stay home if the kids are sick & can't go to school. And there is NO way that I'm gonna stay home AND make him stay home. Where does that make ANY sense? Yeah, someone who actually reads this seriously needs to GROW UP!
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 8:39am PST
Report AbuseSome of us don't have husbands to take over when we're sick. The rest of us muddle through. Even if I take off sick from work, someone still has to get the kids ready for school, cook dinner for the kids, put them in bed, etc.
Consider yourself lucky.
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 9:13am PST
Report AbuseI think the article addresses the disparity between parents in most families. In most families, husbands get sick and are promptly relieved of any household responsibility, while mothers are expected to soldier on. Mothers, this is not fair and it's up to you to change it. The article isn't about single mothers and it isn't so much about work-outside-the-home mothers. It's addressed to stay-at-home mothers. What the writer proposes is a very balanced and fair scenario...and I'm sure she's willing to extend the same courtesies to her husband. That so many women see something wrong with this is evidence of continuing prejudice, I think.
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 9:24am PST
Report AbuseIt's all about balance, I think. DeeAnn and Super Mommy, when your husband is home sick, does he care for the children and house, too? (If so, then I suppose it's reasonable and fair for you to do the same.) In most two-parent households, fathers stay home and focus on getting well...while mothers stay home and are expected to maintain their usual responsibilities. That's not fair.
Why are the mothers staying home with the sick children and not the fathers?
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 10:30am PST
Report AbuseYeah and when the husband finds a 22 yo hot female to help out watch mommy get better real quick :)
women vs men been there done that get over it
women are fighting in wars and running for president
YOUR "I AM VICTIM, HEAR ME SNIFFLE" CAUSE IS OVER
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Posted by Mon Dec 1, 2008 10:48am PST
Report AbuseWow, DeAnn! She wasn't talking about the husband taking off work to stay home and take care of HER, but rather, to take care of the kids when the mom is sick and unable to. That was the whole point of the post - stay-at-home-moms don't get "sick days" like people employed in "paying" jobs, but they should. If someone is too sick to go to work, then they shouldn't work. Moms should get that too. And even if both are employed, the evening and weekend childcare should never fall just to the mom, sick or not. So naturally the husband would take over child care if mom is sick, just as she would if he was sick. I'm a stay at home mom and if I'm too sick to function, then he has to take a day off work to fill in for me as caregiver to the baby. They have special days off for taking care of family members in addition to his sick days and personal days and vacation days. It's simple. What's wrong with that? He gets sick days at his job, so should I. And the comment about a 2 year old being able to look after himself is scary. Sorry, that is not parenting. That is neglect, no matter how much your home is childproofed. Kids young enough to not be in school must be bathed, fed, diapers changed, read to, talked to, sang to, danced with, played with, and constantly supervised, etc. I can't do all that if I am puking all day and supposed to be resting. Have you ever tried to keep up with an active toddler or take care of a baby with round-the-clock feedings? Also, if both parents are employed, then childcare responsibilities should fall equally, and they take turns taking off work to care for sick kids too sick to be in day care or school. Why would it just fall to the mom? That's ridiculous. Also if both parents are employed, they should divide the evening and weekend childcare and chores as well. Actually they should still divide chores even if mom is not employed...that's what we do. My job is to take care of the kids. My husband's job is his work outside the home. So evenings and weekends we divide cooking and cleaning and childcare. One of us cooks while the other takes care of the baby, etc.
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