Social Consciousness 101.

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  Posted by Robyn Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:37pm PST

  good for you!!! i started with my little girl at age two when she soooooo many toys, i explained that she needed to choose toys for herself and toys for friends who had none. she did and has done it every holiday birthday ect without hesitation

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  Posted by fools_and_sages Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:31pm PST

  As a college professor (and only 39 years old, so the generation gap isn't huge), everyday I experience first hand the results of parental over-indulgence and failure to install a work ethic or a sense of responsibility. By responsibility, I am referring to a young person's sense of obligation to others and to society in general as well as their ability to follow rules, meet deadlines, perform under pressure and do a good job on something even if they find it difficult or boring. Most young people today give up on anything they think is too hard. Most won't do anything they are not interested in. Most expect everything to be handed to them. Most expect to live by an individualized set of rules and expectations. In fact, many would prefer if they had no expectations of them at all. Most unfortunately, many of them do not even care what the consequences are for failing an exam, failing a course, or flunking out of college. They just figure, they weren't cut out for it and then they expect to be paid $50k a year to flip burgers or bag groceries.

  The best thing you can do is avoid handing them everything and emphasizing that they need to work for what they want. Denying a child something is not abusive, neglectful, or even mean. It is teaching them that have to earn privileges and rewards. Only give them rewards for a job well-done, not just a job completed. If they help you with something, praise them when they actually help and show them how to be helpful when they are really causing interference. Raise them to be hard workers, not spoiled slackers. Drive home the idea that the same rules apply to everybody equally, whether it's at school, in the legal system, at work, or anyplace else. Always enforce the rules and avoid bending them too often or too much. Don't raise kids to think society owes them. Raise kids to realize they need to give back to society. But don't emphasize that this duty exists because they have more than others. Instead, emphasize that they have the responsibility to be good citizens who can think critically, make rational decisions, and contribute to everybody's well-being by developing their skills and using them to make the world a better place.

  Getting them involved in volunteering is a good way to start. It teaches them to live up to obligations, manage their time so they have time for volunteering, and act responsibly towards the rest of society. But helping the unfortunate is not the only venue for volunteering. You could get them involved in nature conservancy groups, trash clean up in parks, animal shelters, or any of a thousand other volunteer options that probably exist in your area that do not reinforce classist ideals centered on charity. Social responsibility isn't just about the haves helping the have-nots. It's about doing anything that might be valuable to society.

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  Posted by CarolB Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:32am PST

  dont give in to giving them everything they want, instill work ethics and morals.

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