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I submitted this to the TMC confessional yesterday: "This week my kids received "giving cards" giving them the ability to donate to a worthy cause from a friend who usually showers them with gifts (their real life santa clause). They were disappointed despite knowing that times are tough and it's better to give to those who need it most. My 8 yr. old son immediately turned to my daughter and said, "Can i donate to you and you donate to me?" |
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My first reaction was to applaud my son for his "charity begins in the home" response. But my second reaction was this: Oh my God -- I'm raising selfish, spoiled brats. How could this have happened?
Teaching my kids to care, and to take care of others, is something we do year round. They get their standard dose of community service at school and we do a lot as a family to supplement (and model) this. But it turns out that to an 8 year old (and even to his bleeding heart 11 yr old sister), receiving the "gift of giving" doesn't really feel like a gift at all.
Not knowing exactly how to deal with my kids' reactions' nor my own jumble of emotions, I shared my story in the confessional, fully prepared to take the heat and hopefully garner a nugget of advice. As expected, many echoed my fears (your kids are bratty!). But thankfully, more moms expressed understanding -- acknowledging that even the most compassionate kids are still kids and can't be expected to appreciate a donation in place of a gift. And even a professional weighed in, letting me know that this behavior didn't make them heartless or selfish - that they were actually exhibiting age-appropriate behavior. Phew.
How would your kids react in a similar situation? And how would you respond?? Share your thoughts here or tell your story on TMC!
