Thanksgiving Ode: Buying a Turkey? No, Just Rushing Around Like One

Since I can't wiggle my nose like Samantha on 'Bewitched,'

All efforts to clean my home have unfortunately been ditched.

The ham hasn't been ordered yet because I'm running to the store,

To find the least tacky holiday wreath possible for the front door.

My silverware doesn't match and my dishes don't coordinate.

Last night I managed to drop and shatter my one festive plate.

I want to show off our cute boys to relatives traveling into town,

But they're still recovering from a stomach flu that brought the whole house down.

I dream of cooking mouthwatering sides to make taste buds flutter,

But the only thing I can create is a sandwich of jelly and peanut butter.

Thanks goodness for deli trays, football and beer.

All of these distractions keep me in the clear.

There's a big empty space on the dining room table where the centerpiece should've sat,

I just had him professionally groomed, is it wrong to use my cat?



Thanksgiving Ode: Expect the Expected


Turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashers and pie;

Smiling at your crazy relatives as the time slowly passes by.

Noticing lettuce in Aunt Sally's teeth;

Asking politely for a slice of roast beef;

Debating whether to get another helping of green beans;

Knowing you won't be fitting in your favorite skinny jeans;

Listening to the same old stories you hear every year;

Subtly reaching for another cold beer;

Family gossip launches laughter;

Politicians get a bad rap;

Tryptophan making MommyQ sleepy;

It's time for a nap.


So MommyQ writes as her sanity runs out-of-sight,
Happy Turkey Day to all, and to all a good night!