1. I will put myself on my list of loved ones.
If you take care of yourself even half as well as you parent or grandparent everyone else, you'll be way ahead when the holidays are over. Watch your sleep, nutrition, and exercise — and make sure you're having fun, too.
2. I will practice saying no — sometimes.
It's okay to deny your kids or grandkids what they demand once in a while. They'll appreciate the extra TV time, special snacks, and new toys more if you hand them out a little less often. And you'll get to see that they love you even when you're not a pushover.
3. I will play with my children and grandchildren, not just supervise.
The kids will never remember all the laundry you did for them — but they'll never forget the time you all went down the slide together.
4. I will not keep the kids entertained every minute.
Downtime is an opportunity for imagination, and children need that more than they need yet another activity. Don't feel guilty if you take them along to run errands, or if you let them entertain themselves with some holiday coloring sheets, or simply leave them alone for a while to read or relax.
5. I will underschedule myself (and I'll still have too much to do).
We tend to forget to budget our time and energy during the holidays and instead loan ourselves to our extended families as cheap labor. Try to pace yourself for the long season. And when another essential task arises, cross something off your "To do" list before you add the new item.
6. I will break the guilt habit and stop should-ing myself.
Replacing thoughts of "This is who I should be" with thoughts of "This is who I am" will help you get through the holidays with less stress and more fun. You don't expect the kids to be perfect — why should you have to be?
7. I will expect the best.
Make positive prophesies for the holidays; they could be self-fulfilling. Besides, anxious worrying never helps — it just adds stress even before anything negative happens.
8. I will be my own best friend.
Be on your own side. Listen to yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you do well. Forgive yourself when you don't. You teach this to your kids and grandkids — now apply it to yourself.
9. I won't wait for permission to take care of myself.
Don't make yourself so exhausted with holiday preparations that your children or grandchildren have to beg you to rest. That sets a bad example. Show your family that you value yourself and your time by putting your feet up or taking time off for a movie. And if you can't give yourself permission, then we'll give it to you!
10. I will treat my family the way I treat my friends.
You know who your friends are and what they're like. You don't expect them to change overnight and you don't take everything they say or do personally. You ask them questions, listen to their answers, and give them the benefit of the doubt. If you can do the same with your family, you'll be a great role model for your kids and grandkids.
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